{Insert Thanksgiving Title Here}

30 days of Thanksgiving.

I promised you a post of the 30 things I found myself thankful for during the month of November.

It was hard some days to choose exactly what I was most thankful for that day. As I pondered what to write down each day, I realized more and more how blessed I am. There are a whole lot more than 30 things the Lord has blessed me with, but in attempt to focus in on a specific few, I tried to narrow it down to one or two things a day. Here's my list of Thanksgiving Thankfulness:

• #1 God's timing and His plan for my life. - It's amazing how the timing for me to be here in Peru has worked out, but even more so than that, I never imagined coming here would change my life as drastically as it has, and I couldn't be happier about His plan which is unfolding more and more each day.
• #2 My apartment that has everything I need. - Some days I find myself complaining that I live too far from things, or I wish I had this or that in my apartment. However, daily I'm reminded that even with the things I don't have, I still have a lot more in my apartment than most people. I am blessed with a decent monthly rent and all the furnishings I need to live comfortably. The little things can be added little by little.
• #3 Safety to and from a concert. - We ended up getting off a bus in a very sketchy part of Lima. I was a nervous wreck taking a taxi the rest of the way after hearing more and more bad news about taxi problems. After the concert, I was also nervous finding a taxi as the location of the stadium wasn't in the safest part of town. 
• #4 Money to buy food and other necessities. - I have truly been blessed with a salary much higher than I need to survive. I enjoy going to eat with friends and being able to pay the bill for everyone or inviting people over to my house for an "American" meal. I never have to worry about where money will come from to buy food, and I have enough left over to pay large amounts toward student loans each month.
• #5 Kids Alive ministry and the friendships I've made because of it. - I first came to Peru on a mission trip with Kids Alive in 2007. I fell in love with the kids at the children's home and the family care center. In 2009 I met Javier through Kids Alive, and I also developed friendships with others also working with Kids Alive. Many of those friendships I still have today even when other friends have come and gone. 
• #6-7 Even in a bad mood Javier makes me laugh. Even when I'm selfish he loves me enough to change his schedule so we could enjoy dinner out. - Javier scheduled class even though we had talked about going out for a special birthday dinner. I was pretty upset and acting selfish. Later he changed his schedule to do his class another day, and we were able to go out as originally planned. I was thankful for the nice evening out and a chance to eat at a fancier restaurant than we would normally choose.
• #8 A weekend to relax and enough plans to not be bored. - Weekends can get pretty boring if I have nothing to do. They tend to be the days I get most homesick. After two weekends of no plans, I was thankful for a weekend to relax but also a weekend to enjoy getting out of the house a bit other than to just go to work.
• #9 Family. - I'd be lost without my parents (and my brother) and their support. Even though they are far away, I know that they will always love me. I can always confide in them and trust their opinions as well. 
• #10 Javier. - His 30th birthday was November 10th. I'm thankful for the 4 years of friendship we shared, and I'm more thankful now for the relationship we've begun.  I never would have picked him for me, but now I see that no one is more perfect for me.
• #11 Job: Coworkers & Students - Even on the tough days the hugs and kisses I get from my students make me feel better. I've enjoyed getting to know my co-workers better, too. While they will never be my friends from NPE, they are still pretty special people.
• #12 Another year of life. - Happy birthday to me! I have been so incredibly blessed with 27 years of life thus far. I'm excited to see what the next 50 years bring.
• #13 Safe taxi driver to take me to school. - For the whole story read a few posts back (The Saga of the Taxi Drivers).
• #14 Friends. - It's funny what happens when one moves far away. The people you used to rub shoulders with on a daily basis seem to disappear and sometimes even close friends can become distant. It's a hard adjustment that I tend to take personally. I still find it interesting the people who contact me on a regular basis are sometimes not the people I would have considered my closest friends before and my closest friends (or so I thought) are some of the people I hear from the least. {Not to offend anyone.} I'm thankful for friends from home who check in on me to see how things are going, and I'm grateful for the new friends I've made while being here.
• #15 God's unconditional love and salvation. - Sometimes I get pretty hard on myself when I start to ponder all the sins I commit in a week. I'm grateful that God loves me despite my filth and that He forgives me even when I do the same stupid things over and over again.
• #16 Worship event. - The timing of this night was perfect as I had been longing for true worship. It was a great night of live music, lights, and a message to remind us that we are just a speck on a speck on a speck yet we are made in God's image and held highest among the creatures of Earth.
• #17 Unexpected plans. - A friend called to get together after church. It was a nice afternoon out, and I got my first haircut here in Peru...a much needed shaping up.
• #18 Package with goodies and gifts from my parents, my brother, and my dear friend Dana. - Despite the annoyance of going about 45 minutes away to get my package it arrived in tact with more goodies than I ever expected to receive. A nice pick-me-up for a Monday afternoon.
• #19 Technology to contact loved ones and friends. - I'd be lost here without my cellphone, Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook, and all things like it. It's so nice to know that friends and family back home are just an internet connection away, and I love my nightly phone calls from my boyfriend when we aren't together.
• #20 Running partner. - Now that the weather is getting warmer it's been nice to get outside and be a bit more active. I didn't realize how much I missed running, and even though I'll never be a marathon runner, I like a short jog every once in a while.
• #21 Co-workers who become like friends. - I enjoyed a nice afternoon out for ice cream with one of the Christian girls at work (we are two of the few who are believers). It's nice to share a common bond with someone, and it's been enjoyable how easily our friendship has formed.
• #22 Sunshine, capris, sandals, and 79F temperatures. - It's finally starting to feel like spring {or summer}. I'm excited for a change of wardrobe.
• #23 Successful shopping and dinner with mis cunados. - I've already been adopted into the family as a sister-in-law. I guess that's a good thing. Javier and I enjoyed an afternoon of Christmas shopping and then we invited one of his brother's and his wife over for dinner. We had an enjoyable night of talking and getting to know one another.
• #24 Love from family, Javier, and friends. - I received quite a few messages this week of people checking in to see how I was doing. It was a blessing to say the least as I had been quite disappointed I would be missing out on Thanksgiving. Javier cleaned up the dinner dishes and everything from the night before without having to be asked, and my family...well they love me no matter what. Again, I'd be lost without each one of them.
• #25 Protection during a temblor. - Shortly after the students left school the ground began to shake. At first it sounded like thunder, but within seconds I was running out of the classroom door to the patio along with the other staff members. It only lasted a minute, but we stayed outside for a while to be sure we were safe to enter again.
• #26 Prayers of friends. - It's so good to know that there are many people praying for me back home. I feel your prayers surrounding me daily. You have no idea how much it truly means to me.
• #27 Clean house. - There's nothing I like more than to sit down at the end of a long day and enjoy a freshly mopped floor, the smell of Pledge on my tables, and a clean bathroom sink. Things here seem to get dirtier 3 times faster than my apartment in the States. I guess that's an effect of living on the side of a dust covered mountain.
• #28 Student comments that make me laugh and the opportunity to share my faith with 4th grade students. - See #11. Not a day goes by that my students don't give me a reason to laugh. Even when they disobey, there's something to smile about at the end of the day. It was also a blessing to be able to openly share my faith and beliefs with fourth graders today as they are studying world religions and the teacher asked me to speak about Christianity. 
• #29 Opportunity to live in Peru. - I'm thankful to live in a country where daily I am humbled by how "rich" I am; I am learning to live with less, bless others with the things God has given me, and be grateful for what I do have without complaining about what I don't. 
• #30 1 month of officially being Javier's girlfriend (even though we technically began dating in early September) & only 3 weeks until I go home. - I have never met someone who makes me laugh so much, makes me feel beautiful even when I feel ugly, and calls me daily just to see how I am. I'm excited, also, to have 5 weeks at home to spend with my family who I miss so very much, catch up with friends I haven't seen in a while, drive a car rather than being driven everywhere, and enjoy a bit of "normality" for a while. Now if only Javier were going home with me...

There you have it folks. My 30 days of Thanksgiving all typed out for you. I hope as you read through these that you, too, were able to feel a sense of gratitude for the blessings (big and small) that you have in your life. We truly are blessed beyond our comprehension. From the pillow you lay your head on at night to the food you have on your table, and all of the extra luxuries that surround you every day you my friend are blessed. Never forget, not even for a moment, that Christ loves you, and He has given you abundantly more than you will ever need in this lifetime. There are people dying in this world each day from hunger, pain, and lack of appropriate resources. Count your blessings, and give thanks to Him from whom those blessings flow. 

The Most Difficult...errr- Wonderful...Time of the Year

I was talking with a friend the other evening about my family holiday traditions between Thanksgiving and Christmas as we ran circles around a nearby park. As I shared my disappointment in missing making the turkey and other food for Thanksgiving dinner, going to the movies with my family, Black Friday, and cutting down a real Christmas tree, I had flashbacks to being here in Peru in 2009 and how hard it was to be away from my family during this season.

This time of year is by far the most difficult to be away from home. The holiday season isn't the same here. First of all, listening to Christmas songs about snowmen and twinkling snow while I'm sweating under the hot sun is quite odd. Second, kicking off the holidays with a Thanksgiving feast is non-existent; in fact, I'll be working the next three days just like any other week of the year. Black Friday is unheard of, and well, a real Christmas tree would most likely come in the form of a palm tree.

As I recall 2009, I have memories of shedding tears and I crossed of days on my countdown to return home. I remember being extremely homesick and at times felt like the end of my stay in Lima would never end. I couldn't leave this country soon enough, and my whole being ached to be back home in Indiana with my loved ones and friends.

This time around, however, is different. I'm still counting down the days for my return to Indiana {25 to be exact}, and I'm still homesick missing my family traditions, BUT I'm enjoying each new day. When I start to ponder about the things I'm missing in the States, I stop to focus on the blessings poured out upon my life here. When I'm tempted to wallow in self-pity, I remind myself to rejoice because God has called me to be joyful; He is my joy. When I start to think about the lack of snowmen and Christmas trees I smile because I love the warm weather that blankets me each day here.

I'm beyond blessed by friendships I have built here with teachers at school and the few friends who haven't lost touch with me. Javier is beyond caring when I begin talking to much about how I miss being in the States for this or for that. My students give me a reason to laugh each day, and God comforts me when I begin to feel all alone. 

I'm excited to head home in a little more than 3 weeks, but at the same time there are things here I will miss. For the first time in years I feel complete contentment in life. I'm living each new day as it comes, enjoying my time as a Peruvian resident, but looking forward to a visit to my homeland, and allowing God to guide my steps. Only where He leads will I follow. Though my heart at times still feels torn in two {I'm not sure it will ever be made whole again}with Christ it is made complete.

My prayer for each of you is that you would enjoy your families during this holiday season. There are people all over the world that would love nothing more than to be united with family to sit and chat, celebrate blessings, and prepare for the birthday of Jesus our Lord. Don't take one moment with your family for granted, no matter how crazy they might be. You never know when your last holiday together may be.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Birthday #27

It's been a fun week of birthday celebrations which will end after dinner tomorrow evening. I'm not one to enjoy the center of attention much; I don't like standing awkwardly while people sing to me, opening cards in front of people always makes me nervous because everyone's eyes are staring at me while I read, and I get anxious about how to respond when I open gifts.

It was fun this year to celebrate my birthday along with Javier this year. (I'm still amazed at the way the Lord fashioned 4 years of friendship to get us to this point.) His birthday was on Sunday, and because of his crazy work/study schedule we started the celebrations on Thursday last week by adopting a family tradition of going out for a nice meal together. We went to Brujas de Cachica which is a fine dining restaurant not too far from my apartment. The food was very typical Peruvian cuisine and quite delicious.

On Sunday, Javier was here before church so I made breakfast...french toast, eggs, and coffee. I gave him his gifts, and we headed to church. Afterwards we met up with his mum, and we went to the food court at the mall for lunch before he headed to work for the afternoon shift. This has become our regular Sunday lunch when he works in the afternoon because the food court is the only place serving food at 11:30 on a Sunday morning.

Then came my birthday on Tuesday. I was informed on Monday that I had to go to the Immigration office in downtown Lima on Tuesday for the finally process of my residency. "Great," I thought, "Just how I want to spend my birthday...sitting and waiting." I really didn't have many plans for Tuesday except to have my friend Mary and her daughter over for dinner in the evening. However, Javier called late Monday night and informed me that he'd worked out his schedule to be able to spend time with me on my birthday.

Tuesday was a wonderful day; it was probably one of the most memorable birthdays yet. I woke up as normal and headed to school. When I walked into my classroom the students began singing happy birthday to me, and three more times that day a class sang to me when I walked in. I left for Immigration around 8:30 and returned to school around 1 as a resident of Peru (after 3+ months of paperwork and waiting). Upon returning to school, my students had made me a giant card and each one drew a small picture along with a little note.

Javier picked me up at school, and we went to the laguna near my home. We sat near the water and talked, fed the geese, ducks, and other birds nearby, and enjoyed the sunshine. Afterwards we went to San Marinos - a nearby cafe - for cake and then returned to my apartment to hang out for a bit before he left for work.

My friend Mary and her daughter Milly came along with my friend Juan Pedro. We ordered chicken, french fries, and salad for dinner and Mary and Milly bought me a chocolate cake. My landlords also came up and had bought me a cake that is similar to tres leches but even better. I shared cake with them before dinner arrived. Mary, Milly, JP, and I had a great time laughing over dinner and sharing cake together. We chatted for a bit, and then they headed home around 10 last evening.

Tomorrow I'm going out for dinner with some of the Peruvian teachers from school. I still find it humorous that I have more in common with the Peruvian teachers than with the international group, but I think we could all agree that I never came here for the foreigners to begin with.

I'm still waiting on the package from my parents to arrive. The tracking number shows that it's arrived in Peru, but beyond that I have no idea where it is. Hopefully a call to the customs office tomorrow will explain where the package is and how I can get it. I'm excited to see what's inside.

Year 26 began with me being offered a teaching contract here in Peru, and year 27 begun by receiving my Peruvian residency. I can only imagine the great things God has in store for this year. Here's to being one day closer to 28!

The Saga of the Taxi Drivers

I'm starting to hate taking taxis anymore here. The anxiety and stress makes an hour long trip on the bus (double the amount of a taxi) almost worth it. If you watch the news there are always stories of taxi trips gone wrong - robbery, kidnapping, etc. (Don't freak out Mom and Dad!!) I'm thankful I live in a safer area, so usually from my apartment I don't worry too much, but I still pray as I enter each taxi that I arrive safely and intact at my final destination. I have learned to check that taxi license plate number and ask the taxi driver for it so that I can text Javier the number. I then text him when I get where I need to be so that if something were to go wrong he has the information to contact the authorities.

I take a taxi to school each morning because with morning traffic and the travel time in bus, I'd rather sleep in a little bit and pay more than get up at 5a.m. to ensure arriving to school on time by bus. A few weeks after moving into my apartment, by chance I ended up asking the same taxi driving two mornings in a row to take me to school. The second day I asked him if he would be willing to take me each morning and he agreed. This worked for about a month and a half and then he quit coming on Mondays. A few weeks later he quit coming at all. And then came the stress each morning all over again...

• Would there be an empty taxi at the stop near my house?
• Would it be a safe taxi?
• How much will I have to pay today? (Each taxi here determines its own price since most are independent drivers rather than being employed by a company.)

Ironically or by God's plan, a little over a week ago I had left my house late. I arrived at the bus stop to hail a cab, and every one that passed was already occupied. I was slightly panicked, worried that I would be late for school when an empty cab finally passed. I was a bit nervous getting in as the numbers weren't on the side door like they normally are, and he was charging me 3 soles (about a dollar) more than normal, but at that point I felt I had no other option. I got in, said "Buenos dias" (good morning), locked the doors, ad prayed silently while asking for the plate number. 

The man kindly gave it to me, and then he asked me if I had worked at LISOFT (the school I worked at in 2009). Come to find out he used to be in charge of maintenance. We talked the whole way to school, and as we got near he asked if I'd like a ride every morning. To make it even better he offered to pick me up at the end of my street rather than me having to walk the 3+ blocks to the bus stop each morning. 

He picked me up each morning this week, and it has been a complete blessing. He's a trustworthy Christian man, trying to support his family. It costs a bit more than I was paying originally, but Javier and I both agreed that for the peace of mind that I will arrive at school safely without having to find a new cab each morning then $5 more a week is worth it. Plus, I'm helping out someone who I know will use the money he is making wisely to support his family.

Please continue to pray for safety throughout my time here in Peru. The plan is to start looking to buy a car when I return from vacations at the end of January, but even with owning a car there are risks one must consider. However, at this point those risks seem minor in comparison to the nerves and stress of hailing a cab.  

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving

November has arrived - my birthday month, a month of Thanksgiving, and the start of the holiday season. As I think about Novembers past, I recall the smells of autumn - pumpkin pie baking in the oven, leaves burning outside, etc. I remember birthday dinners with my family and helping Mom prepare the Thanksgiving meal. However, this November will be different. Family dinner with be a Skype call, Thanksgiving here is only something talked about not observed, and smells of autumn are replaced by signs of spring. Yet no matter if I'm here or there, Thanksgiving and it's purpose will forever be near and dear to my heart whether I eat a traditional Thanksgiving meal or not.

This month I've committed to recording one thing a day I'm thankful for. Some days I get to the end of the day and feel ashamed that I've grumbled too much and been thankful to little. I'm hoping that this challenge will refocus my thoughts, enable me to see the positive things throughout the day, and cause gratitude to be a natural response even on the tough days. I may not post my items of Thanksgiving publicly each day, but I do promise to compile a list to share here at the end of the month.

It only feels appropriate, though, to begin my sharing my first day of Thanksgiving publicly to get the month started off right. Last week I blogged about being homesick and missing some of the comforts of home which indeed I do. However, even on the days of homesickness there has been one person that has been able to make me laugh and help me to forget my sadness. I had no idea when I came to Peru what exactly the Lord's plan for me was here other than my job, but little by little the Lord continues to unfold His perfect plan for my life in ways I never imagined. In the last 3 months my life has done a complete 180 in a lot of ways, changing faster at times that I can wrap my head around, but even on the bad days I couldn't be happier.

For that, today I am thankful for God's perfect timing and His plans which are bigger than I could have ever dreamed. Four years ago when I met Javier, I never imagined we'd have the friendship and relationship we have now today. Even 8 weeks ago when we started unofficially dating I wondered what in the world we were doing and if we were ruining a good friendship. Then, hearing him talk with my parents and seeing them tear up earlier this week and as he asked their permission to make our relationship official as boyfriend and girlfriend all doubt was erased. (I'll spare you the full story of Javier and I, but you can ask if you'd like more details.) I have no doubt in my mind this is God's timing - just like bringing me here to Peru when I was thinking I wouldn't be back for a few more years.

God's plans and His timing are unfathomable. He always has the best in store for His children, and even on the tough days He never leaves our side. He does not give up on us...EVER! And for that, I give thanks because even on the dark days God is bigger and His ways are wonderful.

Homesick

I try to keep my posts and thoughts here positive, shedding light on the good things God is doing in my life. However, we all know that not everything is happy and carefree all the time. We have valleys, plateaus, moments of frustration and loss. It's a process and at times a struggle. Someone once told me that month 3 is the hardest, and I've also been warned that having a plane ticket to go home can at times make it worse. I think I'm beginning to believe both of those statements to be true as I find myself more and more longing for the things I miss - family, friends, my car, chocolate chips and peanut butter, the comfort of home. Here's to me being vulnerable and asking for extra prayers in the days to come.

Tonight I hit my breaking point. After two different friends cancelled plans for the day and another set of last minute plans was ruined, I'd had enough. Weekends seem to be the worst for missing home, especially when I have nothing to do.

While waiting on a friend to call today, I cleaned my apartment, did laundry, worked on my newsletter and some things for school, and chatted with a few friends back home. I had grocery shopping to do and a few other errands to run, but not sure of when I would be heading out, I decided to stay home just in case. Minutes turned to hours, and soon a whole day was "wasted". Of course I got things done, but they weren't the things I'd wanted to do today.

As I was praying this afternoon, I spent some time in silence asking the Lord to speak to me and to reveal to me whatever His plans are for certain situations I'm currently facing. As I waited this was revealed to me: I never said my followers would gain many friends or multitudes of followers, but I did promise to never leave you nor forsake you. Those words have been on my mind all day. It's a great reminder that Christ is the only friend I need.

I'm not sure what happened to my friend group here. I used to hang out with people all the time when I'd visit during July, but since arriving in Peru in August I've seen maybe a handful of those I once considered dear friends. Some have married, others have children, and the rest I guess they've gotten busy with work. I am frustrated with friends who say they want to hang out but are always too busy to find time to do so. I feel like there are only a few people I can call up at any given time to see if they are free to get together, and if it weren't for my "friend" Javier I wouldn't have a social life at all.

I'm tired of being the one to make the effort. I send texts, make the phone calls, and send emails. You find out who your real friends are when you live thousands of miles away. You also learn who your true friends are when you return to a city to live rather than to simply visit.

I'm not writing this to gain your sympathy or even to persuade you to email, text, or call me. I'm writing this to share with you my struggles, my daily battle recently, an area where I need a lot of prayer. I need to force myself to get involved at church and meet friends there. I need to open up more and let people I've recently met in. I need to quit holding on to the past and the friends I used to spend time with.

I still believe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be for this moment in time. Some pretty great things have happened during my time here and in some ways I couldn't be happier with my current life situation. However, I firmly believe the friend situation is the devil's favorite string to pull; it's his way of making me doubt the Lord's plan for me here.

Please pray against Satan's lies and the loneliness I've been feeling. I'm looking forward to returning home in 56 days for 5 short weeks, but I'm sure when that time actually arrives I'll have a hard time saying good-bye.
 

¡TeMbLoR!

It's been quite the week. It was the first week back in class after a 9 day break, and I must admit it's been quite exhausting. On top of that, I contracted a stomach bug (I blame the salad I had for lunch Tuesday because I haven't felt well since then), and I can't eat hardly anything without feeling sick shortly after. I've gotten by with Tums, and yesterday I went and got some medicine from the pharmacy. Having not felt well and feeling exhausted, last night I headed to bed around 10 (nearly an hour and a half earlier than my normal); however, I was rudely awakened last night at 2:30 a.m. from a deep sleep, and I was more than a little nervous and confused.

You see, Peru is on a fault line, and tremors and small earthquakes are common. I don't know if it's because I'm not used to them or what, but typically unless they are strong I don't feel them. For instance, yesterday morning while in the shower apparently there was a tremor. I'm thankful it wasn't strong because the shower is the last place I want to be if it becomes necessary to evacuate the building. Haha!

This morning was a different story, though. I was in a deep sleep when I heard the glass bottles on my dresser begin to rattle and clank softly against one another. I woke up afraid someone might be in my bedroom, but then I heard the neighborhood dogs barking and my windows and door rattling. I sat in bed realizing a tremor was occurring and wondering if I should get up and grab a sweatshirt in case I needed to head outside, but it passed within a few minutes. I laid in bed still wondering what to do. I was afraid to fall asleep for fear of another tremor to follow, so I committed myself to pray. After spending some time in prayer, I drifted back to sleep.

The tremor was the only thing anyone talked about for the first few hours of the day. I got in the taxi to head to work, and the taxi driver asked me immediately if I felt the tremors (yes, plural) last night. I told him I felt one at 2:30 a.m., and he informed me of another between 4:00-5:00 a.m. which I must have slept through. On the radio I heard there was a 4.0 magnitude earthquake just an hour-ish south of where I live.

At school everyone, teachers and students alike, were talking about the tremors. My students came in full of energy (as usual) asking, "Miss Jessica, sentiste el temblor?" "Yes, I felt it. Did you?" I responded. {In order to help them learn and practice English, I try to always respond to their questions in English even when asked in Spanish.}

Tremors are normal in Lima, and they are something you just learn to deal with, but each time fear overcomes me. What if this time it isn't just a tremor. What if it gets strong? What do I do? Where do I go? I asked a friend a few weeks ago what the protocol is for earthquake emergencies, and he informed me of where to go should I be home. My neighbors below me are quite friendly and very concerned for me as a single woman living here, so I assume they would check on me, too.

In the end it comes down to God's protection and my faith in Him. As I become more confident in my surroundings, I'm realizing my prayers for protection and safety aren't as persistent as they were in the beginning. My reliance on God's strength guided me through each new day has faded, and I'm falling into the feeling of comfort. I'm comfortable with my life as it is, I'm comfortable leaving my house on my own and taking public transportation to get from one place to another. I'm comfortable in my job, and I'm comfortable with the friends I've made. However, that comfort shouldn't lead to my complacency in my faith and relationship with Christ.

Comfort isn't what Christ died for; He died so that we would be made right before God and have the opportunity for an intimate relationship with Him. He didn't bring me here to Peru, thousands of miles from my home, to be comfortable. I believe His purposes for me here are bigger than simply living a "comfortable" life, and I'm ashamed that I've fallen into routines and habits. I desire intimacy with Christ, passionate faith that brings others to their knees before the heavenly throne, and a prayer life so centered in Christ that every word and thought would be tied to conversation with my Savior. I desire radical living, living that doesn't come from comfort but rather from discomfort. I want to be different from the crowd and known as a woman who feared the Lord and lived only for Him.

While the "temblor" might have awaken me from my sleep and scared me quite a bit last night, I'm thankful that I have a God whom I can trust. He has the perfect plan for humanity. He desires intimacy with me, and He intervenes in my life even when I fail to notice His presence. He loves me, and He has blessed me beyond what I deserve. He is my protector, my counselor, and my friend, and I choose to depend on Him for all the days of my life.

October Vacations

Let me start by apologizing for my negligence of this blog and keeping you all up to date with life here in Peru. It seems as if day turns into night and back to day all too quickly, and my free hours fill up with activities faster than I can write things onto my calendar. Some weeks Friday arrives and I can't even remember everything that's happened in a week, but I know from the exhaustion I feel that I didn't have much time to relax. I can't complain about that though, because for me, investing in the lives of others and building relationships is a priority, and sleep (while necessary) can always be made up for in the form of mini-naps after school and on the weekend.

This week we've had vacations from school. Where I work (and other schools, too) we get time off at the end of every term. We wrapped up our third term last week, so this week we've had a free week. My initial plan was to relax, catch up on things I've neglected, go shopping for things I'm still lacking in my apartment, and maybe visit a few local sites. However, now that the end of the week has arrived, I look back and realize I did very little of that, but instead I spent time with people which in some ways is the greatest vacation ever.

Saturday I spent nearly an hour and a half at the bank with a friend of mine trying to sort out my account and transfer money to the USA. They kept telling us the code was wrong and gave us a new one, but after the new one didn't work for us or the bank employee it was determined there were other problems on the account. In the end we got it all straightened out, and the transfer went through. We then had lunch and walked to the laguna before I returned home to relax and do some laundry.

My favorite place to just sit...la laguna.

On Sunday I went to church and then headed to Pachacamac with a friend to visit the Children's home. Upon arriving in Pachacamac, we went to the plaza and discovered and exposition in celebration of the holiday, so we walked around to the different booths and had lunch before going to see the kids. I ended up taking some of the girls back to the exposition later in the afternoon.

An image at the start of the parade made completely of flower petals. 

On Monday and Wednesday I went shopping. Monday was spent with a missionary who is moving back to Lima. We checked out prices for appliances and other home goods as she is renting a completely unfurnished apartment. After a morning run to the laguna on Wednesday I went shopping on my own just for fun.

Tuesday was an official holiday (Battle of Angamos) and it ended up being my favorite day of the week. I got up early and met a friend in Manchay to go to an event at BCM (Bible Centered Ministries). We arrived at BCM about an hour early and ended up going for a walk through the "countryside". We also spent some time talking on the rocks near the river. Upon returning to the BCM event, I played with the kids from the children's home and talked with some of the "mamas" for the afternoon.

The path we walked along. This used to be a river.

A field of corn...just like home!

Taking a break before heading back to BCM.

Macarena

 Bridget and Vanessa 

Ruth

The backdrop of a show that was done at BCM.

Thursday was a fun day, too. I went to the Oasis in Manchay which is another ministry of Kids Alive. The Oasis has programs to teach moms useful skills for work and there are childcare programs for children, a new elementary school for kindergarten aged students, and a homework club for students in school. I helped out with the 3 year olds, to which I must admit the best part of the afternoon was putting them down for a nap...hehe! They are adorable children, but they wear you out quick! I had a lot of fun with them. 

Today I'm using as a "me" day. I have no plans but to clean, do laundry and go grocery shopping (none of which I've done in the last 2 weeks). I woke up late (see, I told you I could always catch up on sleep later), read for a while, and now I find myself typing this blog with coffee in hand. I must admit, it's been the perfect start to my last "official" day of vacations. 

The Lord continues to break me and mold me here in Peru. As I become more vulnerable, I am realizing my insecurities, my pride, and my selfishness. It's been interesting to see how the Lord has used two very dear friends to teach me valuable life lessons even if they don't realize it. Through their lives I have been challenged and stretched to have more faith, to live simply, and to love. It's not always an easy path to take, but being here in Peru has been a blessing, and if I leave here with nothing at the end of my time (which is still quite far off), my prayer is that I will have grown in faith and love and that I may continue to fall more in love with my Savior each day. What a journey it has been, and I'm excited to see what else is in store for me throughout the next 2 years!

Family, Friends, and People on the Street

It's been an interesting few weeks around here. I'm struggling with friendships and connecting with people who once were close friends of mine. Peruvians are notorious for saying they want to hang out with you, but then they fail to coordinate a time to get together. Some people even go as far as scheduling a time to hang out, but then cancelling at the last minute. It's quite frustrating at times, and I've noticed it seems to be worse this year than in previous years. I know I've changed {for the better I hope}, and I know their lives have changed as well. I do my best to be understanding, but there comes a point when it's best to simply quit trying.

With that being said, God has blessed me with the opportunity to build deeper friendships with a few individuals who have been dear friends of mine for quite some time. I'm thankful for these friends who have been there for me in recent weeks through my grandfather's sickness and the times when I just need someone to go out and do something with. I'm grateful for friends who have truly invested in my life and who have given me opportunities to invest deeper in theirs.

I've crossed a few missionaries on the street on my walks to and from school, and God has placed other random encounters with people along the way as well. A few weeks ago at church the lady sitting next to me randomly asked me if I was Peruvian. From there the conversation spiraled into why I was here, where I work, and how long I'm staying. I learned that her daughter is attending the school I where I used to teach, and she was looking for a better fit for her as she was seeking a higher level of English instruction. I had the opportunity to share a little about my faith last Friday at school when asked what Christians believe about free will by a colleague of mine, and I engaged in conversation with a taxi driver last week over his Christian music choice on my ride home.

It's been hard to be away from my family while my grandpa was on life support last week. I kept thinking back to my first move here in 2009 when my other grandfather passed away the day I left the U.S. unexpectedly. However, my heart fluttered yesterday when my mom informed me that he has decided he would like to be baptized when he gets out of the hospital. He still has a long road to recovery, but I firmly believe the prayers of everyone surrounding our family brought this miracle to my grandfather. It's been our prayer for years to see our relatives saved, and God has heard our prayers.

Our God is an awesome God. Things may not always go the way we think they should, but God always has the best things in mind for us. A year ago, I never would have imagined my life the way it is today. However, at this moment in time, I can't imagine it any other way. Even when people let me down, I can't help but smile knowing that my life is full of people who care about me here and back in the States. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve, and I'm thrilled to see what the future holds.

The Story of the Mouse

I've received quite a few contacts asking for the story of the mouse. Is he out of my house yet? How did I get him? etc. Let me start by saying, he's still hiding in my kitchen, and he's a genius!

I'm honestly not sure how he even got in. My guess is that we've been cohabiting since I moved in. He's good at hiding, and just happened to be spotted Tuesday morning when I was running out the door for work. I was already running late, so I walked into the kitchen with the intention of grabbing a granola bar, but with the squeak of the door he went running. I screamed (which was unfortunate for my friend who was on the phone with me at the time), grabbed a granola bar, and I stepped out of my kitchen quickly, closing the door behind me. {You have no idea how thankful I am to have that door between my kitchen and the rest of my apartment. At first I found it annoying; however, now, it is a necessity to ensure the mouse doesn't leave his living quarters.}

After school, I told my landlords that I had spotted a mouse. They tried to tell me they've never seen mice here and that everything was cleaned very well before I moved in so the chance that a mouse was actually spotted was very slim. After insisting that I had seen one, they came up to my apartment, and we searched everywhere. We even disconnected the stove and pulled everything out to check behind and underneath it, and we still didn't find the thing. I'm pretty sure my landlords thought I was crazy. I was hopeful that somehow he had snuck out during the day.

Wednesday evening we put a mouse trap down with cheese. Thursday morning when I awoke I checked, and sure enough the cheese was gone, but the intelligent little mouse didn't even set the trap off. I talked with my landlords again Thursday evening, and they decided to put a harder cheese on the trap so that the mouse would have to work to get it off.

Sure enough Friday morning the trap had been deactivated and the cheese was thrown to the side. A sure sign that the mouse had attempted to get the cheese, but somehow got away before the trap snapped on him. I didn't bother with it Friday, but Saturday morning the cheese was missing and the trap left in the same distraught position I had found it Friday morning.

Currently, I'm calling him my pet mouse. He isn't a bother as long as I keep food off my counter; however, I still do not approve of his living here. I think a friend is going to bring me poison to put down to kill him since my landlords refuse to do such thing. At this point, I'm more fearful of finding him dead and having to dispose of him than his hiding somewhere in my kitchen.

And I was afraid the cockroaches would be my problem...

Dust, Mice, and Dirty Dishes

Some days I catch myself complaining about the little things I miss about being back home in the States. I miss having hot water when I turn on the faucet to wash dishes, earwigs as opposed to mice, and a carpet and a vacuum rather than tile, a mop and a broom. Instant coffee doesn't taste the same as Mocha from my Keurig, and I always turn on the gas but neglect to actually light the oven. I find myself saying, "You know what I don't like?" quite often, but Tuesday a friend put things into perspective for me when he asked, "What do you like?"

I think the honeymoon phase is over. I'm reaching the point when normally I'd be returning to the States and putting to use all of the things I was missing during my month long summer visit to Peru. However, this year it's different. I think it's settling in that the luxuries of home are a distant memory. After the conversation with my friend on Tuesday, I decided it was time to focus on the positive, the good things in life here.

I have a very suitable place to live with running water, electricity, internet, and cable.
I have food in my cupboards, refrigerator, and freezer.
I have a wide variety of clothes to wear.
I have a job that pays well so that I am able to pay down on my debt.
I have friends who care for me and check in on me regularly.
I have a family who will fight for me no matter what, even when I'm a continent away.

God's really been working on my heart recently, humbling me and breaking me as I realize the blessings that have been bestowed upon my life. We don't realize how much we take for granted until it's gone or until we meet those who live much simpler lives than we ourselves do. I've really been having to put things into perspective, and I'm doing my best to think twice before I speak negative words.

Despite missing some of the comforts of home, I could not be happier at this moment in time. God is working in some pretty incredible ways in my life, and I am beyond excited to see how He guides and directs me in the upcoming weeks, months, and years. God is beyond faithful, and even when we can't see it He has the best in store for each of His dear children. A year ago, I never would have imagined I'd be where I am today, but God had something different in mind. Now I've officially been in Peru one month and two days, and I somedays still wonder if I'm going to wake up from this crazy, wonderful dream.

God is so Good!!

Stars in the Sky

On my walk from the bus stop after work Thursday, staring up at the dirt mountains around me with the sun shining brightly upon them, I was reminded of how small I am and how great our God is. 

It's been quite an adventure these last few weeks, and my type A personality has been feeling quite overwhelmed and slightly out of control at times. I've been here before, I know how things work, yet, there's always that adjustment phase that one must endure when change occurs. On my walk home this evening, as I was gazing up at the mountains around me, I couldn't help but surrender my will to the Lord. In those moments I realized how much I've been trying to control things, cultural things I'm realizing I need to let go of. At times I've found myself complaining a lot, wishing things were as they were in the States - more hot water pressure in the shower, internet that works in more than just my bedroom, less traffic, missing foods prepared with ingredients at home, more easily accessible materials at school, etc. 

I also find myself struggling relationally more each year. People move on and change, friends come and go, and I never know from year to year who will still be around, who has moved on, or who I've lost commonality with. It's sometimes hard as a relationally focused person to understand why people come and go, but I'm thankful for the few good friends I've kept throughout the years, and I'm blessed by three in particular who have been above and beyond helpful. 

School is going well. I've begun teaching a few classes on my own and co-teaching a few others. Materials aren't widely available here, and my bulletin board space is limited. Charts and workshop style teaching are unheard of, and the mix of PYP with the Peruvian educational requirements makes things much different than what I'm used to in the classroom. I do think I'll have some freedoms in teaching things as I choose to, but it will be a matter or thinking differently in order to follow the program themes and ideas for each term's requirements. 

I've not gotten involved much with the ministry aspect of things yet. I've been to the children's home once, and I met friends from the family care center for dinner earlier this week. I'm still trying to figure out my schedule and routine before I add more to it. I hope to get more involved somehow, whether through translating for ministries or getting involved more at an orphanage or something of the sort. 

Don't get me wrong; I am so glad to be here! I'm enjoying things as they come and taking one day at a time. Of course I miss home, having hot water in all sinks and faucets, and driving myself around rather than depending on buses, but I wouldn't change where I'm at during this phase of life for anything. I'm thankful for the mountains today that were set as my reminder that God is in control, that He knows His plans for me beyond what I can fathom at this point, and He holds me closely in His arms during those moments when I feel alone in this world. 

I heard a song tonight while relaxing and listening to Spotify. Kari Jobe says it so beautifully in her song "Stars in the Sky". She sings: 

The faith in my heart will sing

Of what Your love can do

And even when life weighs heavy on me

I know You're in control

And You're all I need.

 If you'd like to listen to the whole song, I'll leave you with this link for the youtube lyric video. 

Other Random Happenings:

• My first week here I was on a bus that got pulled over by the police for running a red light. After some arguing and what appeared to be a bribe we continued on our journey. Flashbacks of the police entering the bus and demanding to see everyone's ID a few years ago came to mind. This time I was prepared though with my ID unlike a few years back. 
• Last weekend I entered a bus and just a few miles down the road the tire went flat. Thankfully as we exited the bus the cobrador (money taker) gave us our money back, and my friends and I got on another bus to continue our journey. 
• The kids at school don't understand why my hair is different colors since I say I don't "paint" it. Hard for them to believe the sun naturally dyes me hair.
• I'm learning to boil water in a pan to wash dishes, buy groceries just a few things at a time, and cook with ingredients different than what I'd find at home.
• School lunches are so much better than in the States and all of the teachers actually eat it. {Sorry NPE!}
• I miss the Christian atmosphere at Fairfield. It really was something special, but I don't think I realized how special it was until this last week. I am, however, thankful for the few Christian teachers I have met.
• It's about a 5 block walk from my apartment to the bus/taxi pick-up and at least that far from school to the bus stop. I'm getting lots of walking in these last few weeks.
• And last but not least -When given the choice to hang out with Peruvians or Gringos I will choose Peruvians most of the time. {Sorry Gringos!}

The Apartment Search is Over!

After a semi-frustrating week last week, and a bad start to the weekend, I can finally say I'm feeling more at peace knowing that I now have a place to live. My prayer last week was this, "Dear Lord, Please reveal to me the correct place to live. Open doors in ways unimaginable, and guide to a safe, quiet, cheap location where I can feel at home. And when I find the correct place, help me to know immediately without a doubt that it would be the best place for me."

Last week I was shown three apartments by a realtor. Two were out of my price range and small, and the third one was a decent size but unclean, and I'm not sure how much it would have cost either. A friend took me to see another place, but it too was small and unfurnished...no appliances or anything.

Friday night, I spent the evening scouring websites looking for places that was furnished, within my price range, and outside of the tourist district I'm currently living in. I found a few places online, and had a friend call a few that didn't list prices. On Saturday I had hoped to be able to go see a few, but rather than being responsible, I chose to go to the Children's Home with Javier and visit my kids. Little did I know, but spending time with those kids was just what I needed in the midst of all of the change and uncertainty surrounding me. While the kids grow and change from year to year, my love for them never does. I enjoyed watching the boys play Foosball and joined in the fun a bit. Then we sat and talked with one of the new house parents while the kids colored pictures for a project they are doing. I also helped one of the girls with her English homework shortly before we left.

Sunday, I got up feeling refreshed. I headed to church in Manchay (where some friends from last year's medical trip attend) unsure of what the day would hold. My friend Celia came running up to me and hugged me. She asked me all about being back in Peru, where I was living, etc. After explaining to her I didn't have a place to call home, she immediately had ideas of places to look and asked if I'd want to go with her after lunch. The places she knew of ended up being unfurnished or unavailable. A little discouraged we began asking the watchiemen on the street corners if they knew of anything in the area. One man suggested we buy the Sunday paper because most places advertise in the Sunday classifieds.

With the help of Celia we called a some places and went to visit a few that seemed reasonable. After viewing the first option we were quite disappointed and unsure if it was worth seeing others. However, one listing in the paper of an "impeccable apartment" caught our attention. We called the owner who was more than willing to show us around. As soon as we arrived, I knew it was the place. Fully furnished, withing 5 blocks of where I lived 4 years ago, and in a quieter, gated, residential community. The best part, the rent includes all of my utilities, cable and internet, and it falls right in my budget! It's still a bit further from work than I would like to be, but it's closer to Manchay and my friends there.

It's a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom apartment with a living room and kitchen on the second floor of the building. It's a family home, but a separate unit with its own locks and keys. The owners live on the first floor, and they seem to be very friendly. The wife has already told me that if I am sick or anything let her know, and she will be more than happy to help me with whatever I need. I have a washer, brand new refrigerator, two flat screen tvs, and a proper stove/oven.

After returning Monday to see it with the Headmaster of my school (he wanted to be sure it was safe), I decided to sign the lease on Tuesday, and I will be moving in tomorrow afternoon. I have a friend coming to help me unpack and then we'll go shopping for sheets and towels and such that I don't already have. I'll post pictures at a later time! :)

All I have left to say is, God is faithful! I can't imagine how different this experience would be without knowing that He is with me every step of the way!

Thanks for your prayers concerning this matter! It's such a relief to know I have a place to call home!

Adjusting to My New Normal

Every year I come back to this place. Every year I seem to stay in a slightly more "upscale" area, not intentionally though. Every year I complain about the awful traffic, and I'm amazed that it takes an hour to go a distance I could probably drive in Goshen in a mere 20 minutes. Every year I make new friends and realize old friends weren't that close after all. I always forget how thin the walls are, how cold 60 degrees actually is when it is inescapable, and that toilet paper cannot be flushed. I am reminded every year that showers only have one curtain, and no matter what you do the bathroom floor will end up soaked, and the slippers you left on the bathroom floor will take days to dry out. I'm also reminded each time I come how incredible this place is, and how special each person is.

This time it's different though. I'm not here just as a visitor adapting to the little annoyances for a short amount of time. I'm going to have to deal with traffic, I'll have to figure out if I can buy a shower curtain liner to help keep my floor dry, and I'm going to have to learn to dress in even more layers to deal with the bitter cold but to also be prepared in case the sun does come out. I'm going to have to learn how to pay bills and really live life here in Peru being responsible for more than just having fun.

I'm being spoiled currently, but I know reality will hit soon. I'm staying in a hotel where they clean my room every day including folding my pajamas that I left wrinkled in a haste on my bed. They brought me a space heater because they asked how my first night went and if I was cold, and I said yes. I'm living in a ritzy district only blocks from restaurants, shops, and the ocean, and I'm not paying a dime for any of it.

Yet, despite the luxury of these accommodations I'm uncomfortable. I don't like not having a kitchen, and I've eaten out every meal. I haven't unpacked because I hope to find an apartment in the next few days. I can't have friends over to visit because this place is not my own. I feel like a spoiled rich kid when the maid comes in and organizes my bathroom counter and folds my laundry because I was too hurried to do it myself. Yet, I'm beyond grateful for the accommodations and ease of transitioning these last few days. The school has been wonderful in providing such a living situation, and I could not be more blessed.

I did see two apartments today, and I hope to see more this afternoon. The ones I saw today were both very nice, but one was quite small, and they were both above my desired price range. They were safe though, and luxury apartments only blocks from where I'm currently staying. It's nearly an hour bus ride to school, so I'd also have to consider then the cost of taxis. Aside from that, I want to be comfortable but not so comfortable that my Peruvian friends are uncomfortable coming to visit. Everything I dreamed of my apartment being in the States is everything I fear it being here. It's a weird feeling walking into an upscale, NYC style apartment here, wanting it so bad but wondering how friends would feel if they came to visit.

I'd like to live closer to school. I'd like to live in a residence area with fewer high rises and less tourist traffic. I'd like something cheaper because I have high hopes of using the extra money to pay down my college debt. I'd also like something more central so that I can open my home to friends on a regular basis.

I'm going out this afternoon and tomorrow to see what else is out there. I have confidence that God will reveal to me just the right place when I find it, and I'm praying that happens sooner than later because I'd really like to get settled in, buy groceries, figure out a real budget, and invite friends over for dinner. I feel as if everything in life is currently out of my control, and I'm learning to be patient in the changes.

~One Week / Una Semana~

Next week at this time I will {hopefully} be on the plane from Houston to Lima. It's crazy to think that this has been on the calendar for nearly 9 months now, yet until just recently it's seemed like more of a dream than reality. I've waited for this opportunity for 6+ years, and it's finally happening! I have no doubt that this is the divine timing of the Lord, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm grateful for the time I've had living in my hometown near my parents for the last few years, growing as a professional, learning independence, and building friendships that have changed my life. I'm thankful for the church God lead me to in October of 2011, and I'm beyond blessed by the Bible study I've become a part of.

The good-byes have begun, yet the packing remains a task to be undertaken. I know not everything I have laid out to take will fit, so I'm delaying the stressful decision making process as long as possible; 140 pounds seems like a lot of weight, but as I throw things in my suitcase, I realize those pounds add up quite quickly.

So how am I spending my last week you may ask? Well, last weekend I ran my first 5k Color Run which was a blast. I spent last week relaxing and preparing for the week ahead. This past weekend I went camping with my Bible study which was an amazingly fun time of canoeing, hiking, and soaking up the goodness of God in nature. Grandma came today, and Mom made a mock Thanksgiving dinner complete with pumpkin pie since I won't be here in November for the real thing. A dear college friend is coming to visit Wednesday, I'm hanging out with college friends Thursday, and Friday I've got a coffee date with a few teacher friends and a dinner date with my family at a Japanese SOHO. Sunday I'm sharing at church, dining with church family afterwards, and participating in my final praise and prayer night. Somewhere I'll be squeezing in time to pack and clean my car out, too.

I'm so incredibly excited for the days ahead. I'm dreading the good-byes, and I'm a bit nervous for the transition. However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has gone before me, and He has already paved the way. He knows the struggles I will face, and He knows the inner anxiety I will feel. He will be there for me even when no one else seems to understand, and He will be my hope and faith that I will cling to through the joys and trials of this change.

Again, thank you to each of you for being a faithful prayer warrior throughout the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. I am beyond blessed by each and everyone of you. Thank you in advance for going with me on this journey through your prayers and words of encouragement. Feel free at any time to comment with questions or email me if you'd like further details about anything I post along the way. We're in this together, and I appreciate your support!

~*May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and keep you near always and forever!*~
With much love,
Jessica

Dear Complacent Christian,

Disclamier: Let me begin by saying this post is a reminder for myself as well.

You go to church on Sunday {when you feel like it}, but you seldom touch your Bible otherwise. Maybe you even have multiple Bibles lying around your home collecting dust. {I know I have a few!}

Considering today is Independence Day here in the USA, I can't help but be grateful for the freedom I have to worship the Lord, when I want, how I want, and where I want. I don't have to worry about being taken to jail for listening to Christian music with my car windows down. I don't have to fear that I will be killed if someone catches me walking into my church on Sunday morning or Tuesday evening.  I can take my Bible outside on my patio and read with a cup of coffee while enjoying the morning sunrise and songs of the birds, and my neighbors aren't persecuting me for it.

Do you know how many people around the world would give their right arm for the opportunity to attend church without fearing for their life? Do you know how many Christians around the world attend church in secret for many hours a week knowing that if they are caught they may face imprisonment or death? Do you know how many people around the world are begging to hold the Word of God in their hands maybe even for the first time? Check out this map entitled World Watch List Countries {Click on the link, I dare you.You may be shocked by the widespread "suffering" of our brothers and sisters.}

Our Christian brothers and sisters around the world, particularly in the 10/40 window, are those people! Many of them have little, living on less than $2 a day. Many of them are separated from their families, suffering from disease and/or malnutrition, and are mocked and taunted for their faith, yet they still praise Jesus. Many of these Christian brothers and sisters sneak to "church" on Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Saturday {whatever day they may decide on}. They congregate in homes, they congregate in small, unmarked buildings, they congregate in secret not IN a church but AS a church. They passionately pray about everything, have deep desire to follow the Lord, and long to see their lost ones saved. Their Bibles {if they have them} are their most prized possessions.

*Another Disclaimer: I do believe that these secret congregations probably include those of mediocre faith, but overall I do believe the vast majority are deeply committed believers.*

If you are living in a nation or state where you are free to attend church when you want without fear of severe persecution or even death, consider yourself blessed. However, I also believe that the easy manner in which many of my friends and family attend church has made us numb to the true demands of the Bible - to give up everything and follow Christ. {How much do we truly sacrifice to follow Christ here in the grand 'ol USA?} We've become content simply attending church, checking it off our list first thing Sunday morning and putting God on the back burner until the following week. Some of us may pick up our Bibles as time permits, and we bow our heads before meals. Yet, how deep is our true faith? Do we trust God with every aspect of our beings or only with the things we can't do on our own? What are we doing to see the lost save? Do we risk our lives for the sake of the cross?

Read 2 Timothy 3:12-17 {below or click the link}.

12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

When I think about my persecuted brothers and sisters my natural instinct is to feel sorry for them. However, more and more, I'm realizing that feeling sorry for them probably isn't the best response. I'm jealous of them. I'm jealous of their deep passion and commitment. {You'd have to be deeply committed to attend church in their situations.} I'm envious of the unity and willingness of the congregations to help one another out and to pray for one another. They are blessed because of their suffering and endurance, and I long for the deep faith they have due to their persecutions and full dependence of God to carry out His will for His glory.

Romans 5:3-5 says, "We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Now, I don't think this suffering here explicitly means persecution, but it definitely hints at it. Our persecuted brothers and sisters have hope. They have hope and faith that God will protect them against the wills of Satan. They have hope of what's yet to come. They long deeply for that day when Christ returns and His people are brought into His eternal presence. They live for that, and they persevere because they trust with their whole being that in the end it will be worth it.

Ask yourself, "How deep is my faith, really?" If day in and day out you were mocked for you faith would you keep believing in God? If you had to attend church in secret knowing you could be imprisoned or lose your life if you were to be caught would you keep going? How important is your Bible to you? If your house caught on fire would you grab it with your other "special" belongings or would you leave it behind to burn? Are you willing to share the gospel with the lost at the risk of being made fun of or cursed at? Are you willing to live out the gospel, say no to sin, and be the odd man out even when your friends are pressuring you otherwise? 

I think it's time for those of us who aren't persecuted for our faith to reexamine our commitments to the Lord. Are you seeking Him with your entire being, or are you content checking church off your list on Sunday mornings, leaving your Bible to collect dust through the week, and fitting in with the crowd rather than speaking and living truth? Are you daily in the Word and on your knees in prayer or do you only participate when you have extra time? We need to be daily on our knees, in communion with our Creator developing a deeply committed relationship with Him.

Let me leave you with this from Matthew 24:36-41: But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38 For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39 and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40 Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

How well do you truly know Him? How passionate are you really? Are you ready for His return?


*If you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior or have questions about faith, please do not hesitate to ask me. I would be happy to discuss what I know with you or lead you to others who can help. All comments are moderated, and I will not post anything that I feel should be kept private.*

Christian Materialism

As the days disappear and my 'big move' quickly approaches, I've begun to think about what things I'll take with me, what things I'll store, and what things can be gotten rid of. As I look around my apartment, I feel a sense of pride for the decor I've added and the 'stuff' that makes my apartment home. It's sometimes hard to think that I'll have to part with my cute lamps and wall decorations, and even my comfy bed. I don't want to give up my 12 piece, nonstick Pampered Chef pan set, and I don't want to leave my plates and silverware that are just my style sitting in a box for 2 1/2 years.

Then, I read Operation World, and the conviction comes rushing over me. I read statistics that inform me that 2.8 billion people live on less than $2/day {less than $730/year) and 1.2 billion people live on less than $1/day {less than $365/year}. That's less than I make each pay period as a teacher here in the US. I think of a dear Peruvian friend that lives with her teenage daughter in a 3 room house smaller than my apartment without a proper bathroom.

I read these statistics on a Christian blog that I follow:

• If you have any food in your fridge, any clothes in your closet, any small roof, rented or owned, over your head, you are richer than 75% of the rest of the world. We are the Esthers living inside the palace.
• If you have anything saved in the bank, any bills in your wallet, any spare change in a jar, you are one of the top 8% wealthiest people in the world. We are the Esther’s living inside the gate.
• If you can read these words right now, you have a gift 3 billion people right now don’t, if your stomach isn’t twisted in hunger pangs, you have a gift that 1 billion people right now don’t, if you know Christ, you have a gift that untold millions right now don’t.

Suddenly packing in 2-3 suitcases and a carry-on doesn't seem so bad. 

Remember the story of the Rich Man in Mark 10?
17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”
20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”
24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

I firmly believe that the church in America (and around the world) is allowing materialism to slip in. Our churches keep getting bigger. We have more lights, sounds, and entertainment in churches than ever before. Prosperity theology {the health and wealth gospel - If you follow God, He will make you wealthy and keep you healthy} is being preached from the pulpit around the world misleading multitudes of people. We have fallen into the belief that bigger is better and all of our 'big' things are blessings for our good faith.

Satan, is lying to you and he's lying to me. Our earthly possessions are by no means a direct result of how strong our faith is. What about Christians in the deserts of Africa living on $1/day? If you believe your material possessions are a direct result of your faith, then you also must believe your African Christian brother who lives on $1/day must not be giving God his entire self. Do you believe that's true? I certainly don't. In fact, while working with people in living in poverty in Peru, I've realized that some of those people have stronger faith than I do, and they live with a whole lot less than I have.

Satan wants us to believe that bigger is better. He wants us to think that our possessions are a result of our faith in God. If he can get us to focus on our material things, then he is successful at taking our focus off of Christ and the cross. Isn't that exactly what Satan wants?

On the flip side, I believe that God has blessed each one of His followers rich and poor. I do believe that I am blessed, and my material possessions are a blessing. I believe that God has blessed me so that I can be a blessing to others. Each year when I go to Peru I take money I have saved with me, and I use it to bless those I encounter. I take a friend out to a meal she may not be able to afford for herself and we share life together over dinner, I've used it to buy clothing for a family in need, I've been able to support a family business by buying some of the product.

I also believe that my Christian sister living in poverty is a blessing to me. Her passion to serve the Lord and the depth and honesty in her prayers brings a tear to my eye. I want the faith she has, I desire to be as dependent on God as she is. Another friend has taught me what it means to trust God's plan while living in a home with a drunk father and absent mother. Even on the tough days, he admits that God has blessed him and he seeks to look for the good in everything rather than complain.

Life isn't about having money and things, and bigger definitely isn't better. Sometimes having an abundance of things is daunting (especially when it comes to sorting and packing everything to store or get rid of). Next time I start to think about what I'll take with me to Peru, I will choose not to complain about the limited weight and space I can carry with me. Will all of my favorite kitchen utensils, children's books, and clothing fit in my suitcases? Probably not, but I will choose to thank God for the things I do have room for, and I'll silently stow away the things that I don't.

The Questions Everyone's Asking...

The Questions:

Are you excited? 

Are you stressed?

How are your plans coming along? 

When do you leave? 

The {simple} Answers:

Yes!

Not really...
As good as they can be.

August 5th.

These questions seem to be conversation starters with me recently. I don't mind them at all since they give me reason to share my excitement about moving to Peru without bringing it up on my own. However, I feel like I bore people with all of my Peru talk, so stop me if you desire. I won't be offended I promise!

And for all of you who aren't bored to death with my Peru talk, read further for the more explained answers to the daily questions I've been getting.

Q: Are you excited?

A: I am most definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, absolutely, positively excited for my upcoming move to Peru! There are some nights recently I haven't been able to sleep because my mind just gets going. I'm excited for authentic Peruvian food. I'm excited to live near the ocean. I'm excited to actually spend time with and really get to know friends that I've only met and known for months at a time. I'm thrilled to finally have this chance to follow through with this dream and desire God placed on my heart as a teenager. 

Q: Are you stressed?

A: Did you read the second sentence in the answer above {the one where I mentioned not being able to sleep some nights}? I think deep down inside I am certainly stressed, but on the surface I'm feeling great. I'm trying to take one day at a time and get done what I can while also working in time to run, read, and soak up hours with family and friends. I don't want to miss any opportunity to be with those important to me, so packing for Peru and all that jazz is of least importance at this point. I still have a month before I have to be out of my apartment, and I've got 44 days before I leave the country...plenty of time!!

Q: How are your plans coming along?

A: Now this is a complicated answer to say the least. God's plans are falling into place, while my plans are irrelevant at this point. I feel that I've done and am doing everything I can possibly do. I have my visa, I'm reading through the curriculum framework I was given, and I'm in prayer daily asking the Lord to guide me and direct me. Like I said in the previous answer, I'm just taking one day at a time. I don't know where my permanent residence will be in Peru, I don't know what my budget will look like,  and I have no idea how to even begin to plan for teaching since I don't know my daily schedules or even how the framework actually works in a real setting. However, my confidence lies in the fact that the Lord has provided up to this point, and I firmly believe that He isn't going to leave me hanging now. Thankfully, I do have a place to stay for the first few weeks I'm in Peru, I will be bringing home more money than I am currently making and the cost of living should be less, and I will be co-teaching the first semester so I can learn the programs and curriculum firsthand before being thrown to the wolves.

Q: When do you leave?

A: My flight is scheduled for departure at 11:55 a.m. central time on Monday, August 5th out of Chicago, and I'll need to arrive at the airport around 9:30 or 10 a.m. Considering the drive is about 2 1/2 hours from where I live, we'll need to leave for the airport at 8:00 a.m. eastern time. If you want to get technical that is 44 days, 7 hours, and 38 minutes from right now. I don't think I'll actually believe that this is really happening though until I'm on the plane, and then I'm sure it will hit me like a ton of bricks. {I will be home for Christmas though, and every time I say it I start to sing it in my mind.}

Prayer cards will be mailed out tomorrow. If you would like one, please let me know so that I can get one in the mail to you, also. I plan to send my first prayer warrior newsletter mid-July, so if you aren't on the email list for that and would like to be, please let me know that, too!

Thank you all for your prayers and support. <3

A Night to Forget

"Boooooo!!!"

Do you hear that?

That's the sound of mockery my dear friends.

I've heard it in the presence of sporting events mostly, until just recently that is.

When I heard the boo-ing, I couldn't help but remind myself of the popular quote I had hanging on my door during my teen years, "What's popular is not always right. What's right is not always popular."

What had I been doing to have this mockery directed at me, you might ask. The reality is that the answer is quite complicated.

I was at a party. A party in fact that I didn't want to go to in the first place, but I went because I was visiting a friend in her hometown, and she wanted me to meet her friends.

What else was going on?

I was seated in a circle with the crowd, but completely disconnected from them while playing games and reading my Bible via the app on my phone in effort to avoid my surroundings of drinking, smoking, cursing, and other inappropriate, unsettling conversation.

No one knew what I was doing aside from playing on my phone, but I know they noticed my discomfort. Yet, even my good friend didn't seem to care.

Later in the evening one guy started chanting shots, and the discussion of everyone doing tequila shots sprang up. He went around asking everyone who was in. Of course, they all said yes. Except me that is.

And that's when the boo-ing began.

"You can boo me all you want, but I'm not going to do a shot," I demanded.

I wasn't sure if I should be hurt or peace.

Hurt because for one of the only times in my life I truly was absolutely unable to camouflage into my surroundings. I didn't fit into any part of the evening. Not the activities, not the conversations, not even the show on television in the living room was appropriate to engage my interest.

My tattoo was even mocked during a discussion on tattoos. "The Bible scares me," one girl said. As I tried to ask questions, she said she didn't want to talk about it and went back to the conversations on pornography, graphic novels, and conspiracy theories.

I felt hurt even for these people, including my friend, who are so far from understanding the grace and peace that only Christ can provide. I hurt because even when Christ was brought up by a fellow partier, the discussion quickly died in fear.

Then I felt a sense of peace.

Peace because I have faith that God loves me despite what these mere humans may have thought. Peace because I have security in the cross and death and resurrection of my Savior. Peace because I know that His plans for this world are far greater than the conspiracy theories I heard discussed that evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm thankful that I have a Savior who comforts me in times of hurt and frustration. I'm thankful that God gives me wisdom to make choices and strength to go against what the popular choice might be. I'm thankful for friends and family that I could talk to later who stand by me in trying times.

The only one I'm here to impress is the Lord, and I will stop at nothing to satisfy His calling upon on my life.