Continued...A Newsletter from Long Ago

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and with this picture, I believe that to be true.

You see, if the photographer of this picture knew even half of what was going on in my mind on this day in June 2007, on this desolate beach in Peru, she may have set me down, forced me to pour out my emotions, and talked me through my conflicting thoughts. However, she did not know the stirrings of my soul in this moment as she innocently snapped a photo that leaves me speechless every time I run across it. 

As I stood on this beach, nearly 4 years ago, God continued revealing to me a path of life which would take me two more years to fully discover. It was at this place that I began to wonder about a future in Peru, but I still convinced myself it was a crazy dream and not a reality. Nearing the end of a two week mission trip, here I stood marveling at all that God had done in me and through me during this experience. I was a changed person; however, at the time, I didn't realize how changed I truly was.

Words cannot adequately describe the longing, brokenness, and pain that would follow me back to the States. My heart was changed forever, and my passion for Peru grew daily. 

If you've read my blog, you know how the story goes from here.

Needless to say, I am so grateful for this day in June 2007 and this quiet beach that allowed my mind to wander off deep in thought. I'm thankful for the friend who snapped this photo not knowing how meaningful it would later become. But ultimately, I'm in love with the Creator of this beach who never gives up on me even when I try to pass off his voice as my own crazy idea. 

And just in case you're wondering...since this day nearly 4 years ago, I have poured out my conflicting emotions and deepest thoughts to the friend who took the above picture. She is an amazing woman of God and one of many who encouraged me to follow God's call to teach in Peru. 

A Newsletter from Long Ago

Tonight as I was searching for old lesson plans on an animal unit I taught during student teaching, I came across some of my Spanish papers from high school. It was interesting to read articles written by my fellow classmates in Spanish just 6 years ago...to see what they planned to do with their lives compared to what I know of them now. As I read the articles, I was saddened by a few classmates who had big dreams for life after high school graduation but have since chosen the path of partying including drinking and drugs. However, there were also some articles that caused me to smile as what started as a "small" dream has since been handed over to God and formed into a pretty wild ride, changing the world one person at a time.

I was a little nervous to read the article I had written, so I passed it by the first time through and continued to read about my classmates. I was afraid my life would fall short of my dreams, and I didn't want to be a disappointment to myself or my peers. I didn't want to be one of those people my classmates would feel "sad" for as they realized that my life hadn't gone as I planned. However, eventually I was brought back to my article, and I realized I'm not too far off.

In my article I talked of moving to the Dominican Republic to teach children and do ministry. 

Later I wrote that I wanted to travel to other places such as Peru and Spain. 

It's interesting that having never been out of the country at this point in my life, God was already preparing me for the path ahead. While I didn't exactly end up in the D.R. I did end up living in Peru for a short time (and plan to go back). I taught children, and I did ministry with Kids Alive. I LOVED every aspect of it (well, almost everything).

Basically what I'm getting at is that at this time I thought the things I wrote were simply "dreams". I remember our teacher telling us to DREAM BIG and write whatever came to mind. Therefore, I dreamed really big, never imagining those dreams would become reality. God knew what He was doing the whole time...sadly, it took me two trips to Peru and lack of a job to realize that for myself :)

Eres Favorecido

Last evening I was unable to sleep. My mind was racing with heavy feelings for my friends, God's grace on me as a lowly human being, and how I was going to incorporate more of Christ into my every day living so that there is not even an ounce of doubt that I am a passionate follower of Christ.

Finally about 12:30 I decided that rather than lay in bed with my eyes open and my mind racing, it would be better to spend some time in prayer. As I began to pray, I had a heavy feeling pressing me to listen to a sermon from my church in Peru. I used to listen to these weekly, but I haven't listened to them in a while. I didn't want to get out of bed to get my computer and take the time to start it up, so I passed off the "thought" as a crazy idea that maybe I would do later. However, as I continued to pray and after I finished, that prompting didn't go away, and I became curious as to why after months of not listening to these podcasts would I randomly have a "desire" to listen to one. I gave in, got out of bed, grabbed my computer, and logged on to the podcast. There were 4 available to watch, all from the month of December. I wasn't sure which to choose, so I asked God which one was meant for me. I quickly heard his response, "December 12", and I realized my cursor was already highlighting that exact sermon.

I took some notes, and thought I would share the most important points.

• We are all children of God; it is up to us whether or not we accept His favor upon our lives.
• When someone has chosen the favor of God they are changed. We see this change in their smile, bright eyes, and the way they love others.
• You are blessed by God; you are favored by God.
• God has blessed you with everything that you have. There will always be people that have less than you and need more than you. 
• Whatever talents you have been given were given to you in order that you use them to glorify the Lord.
• Many times we do not recognize the blessing God has placed on our lives. We ought to be grateful for the things that HE has given us. 
• When much has been given, much is required. When God asks us to do something, it is always to advance His kingdom. 
• We have been blessed by God in order that we may in turn bless others.
• The world is waiting. There are people that are desperate to know the love and peace that only God can give. They are waiting for you to reach out to them and show them the mercy of Christ. You may be the only one to ever reach a specific person. 
• God is faithful. If we do as He asks, He will take care of the details. That which is impossible for man is possible for God. 
• The favor of God does not depend on how you feel. Sometimes the favor of God does not feel good, but in the end, everything is for His glory. Sometimes we think that what we are doing has no worth, but God is using us even when we don't realize it. 
• Look at what God has done throughout your life. Everything, good and bad, has occurred in order to help us to grow in faith and love.

Another great example of why I miss Peru so much...my Pastor Robert Barringer hits me on the spot all the time!! Lo and behold, this sermon hit right on the spot with my thoughts, and after hearing it, I quickly drifted off to sleep for 7 1/2 straight hours.

Earlier in the day I had read a short blog about serving others and living out the

will of God in 2011. At the end of the blog there was a quote listed

by Donald Miller. It went something like this...

"I will not watch 2011. I will participate!"

My question for you is...

Pasion para Servir! Lo tienes?? = Passion to Serve! Do you have it?

Proverbs 16

¹ We can make our own plans,

      but the Lord gives the right answer.

⁹ We can make our plans,

      but the Lord determines our steps.

 ³³ We may throw the dice,

      but the Lord determines how they fall.

I love the book of Proverbs. There are so many great messages and themes that can be derived from this text. Earlier this week, I was reading chapter 16 for my devotions, and the above verses stuck out to me.

You see, anyone who knows me knows that I almost always have a plan. I'm not as "planned out" as I used to be (Peru changed me a little in that department), but I still do like to think about the future and imagine where I will be in 5 years, 10 years, and 50 years. However, I've learned that no matter how much I plan and imagine, life never turns out just the way I picture it in my mind. My life and my plans have changed drastically since my college graduation just 2 years ago. I never would have imagined then that I would teach overseas; now I am trying to pay off my loans so that I can go back. 

Just last week I was talking to friends about my plans for the future. I was telling them all about the length of time I planned to work here to pay off my loans, and then my plan to return to Peru to teach after that. Ironically, that night, about 2 hours after this conversation, I came across Proverbs 16 during my devotions. To top it off, the next morning I woke up to an email from a friend about my heart's desires and God's heart. This friend spoke of my longing and brokenness for the country of Peru, and how maybe what I think is an appropriate, responsible plan, may not be God's plan at all. 

Each day since returning home last December (2009), I pray about a future in Peru. My desire to be there grows daily, yet I feel confident that God is telling me right now isn't the right time. However, I don't know that He plans to keep me here in the States as long as I have "planned" to stay. These verses just helped to reassure me that God is in control, and that no matter how much I plan, He makes the final decision.