This is probably my favorite song currently. 

I can't quit listening to it and thinking about how much it applies 

to what I feel in my heart right now.

Here are the lyrics with some of my favorite parts highlighted.

There's a little flame inside us all
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don't forget whose child you are

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

May you live each day
With no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
Let your eyes get wide
When you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love-
Treasure the time
And for those who are gone
Keep the memories alive

Hold on to your dreams
Don't you ever let go
There's a fire inside you
Burning with hope

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

There will be days when you wanna give up
When the clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget
Don't forget
Don't, don't forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try
To brave the dark
And let my little light shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
Oh, shine
Gonna let it shine
There's a little light inside us all

Filled & Wanting More

My life is filled with blessings.

My mind is set at ease.

Yet, I find my heart heavy.

And I'm falling to my knees.

Jesus, I need more of you!

I cannot do this on my own.

Each day I'm reminded of Peru,

It is my other home. 

I have nothing to complain about. My life is wonderful, and I am blessed beyond what I deserve. Yet, tonight I find myself with a broken heart wishing I could be there (Peru) serving the people who became like family. An 8-year old girl was killed outside one of the main ministries I helped with in Peru, my church there has been robbed twice in the last month, and another friend emailed me seeking prayer as he's become involved in drugs (again). This news breaks my heart. I feel so helpless here wishing there was more I could do there. 

There are good things happening in Peru, too. A dear friend of mine recently went on his first official mission trip to an area in southern Peru. Reading about his experiences reminds me of my own past feelings and accomplishments from missions experiences. I have been a part of ministry from afar as I witness my friends reaching out to others and expanding the kingdom of Christ through the group Hearts United. I have seen my friends' faith expand and their knowledge of Christ deepen as they are forced daily to stand for Christ and say no to temptations. 

I'm enjoying my life here. God has provided for me in ways I never imagined possible. I know that for this time, I am right where God wants me to be. Yet, not a day goes by that I don't ask God to take me back to Peru. I know this day will come, however, I'm just not sure when. 

Humorous

God has a unique way of always working things out, in His timing of course. 

What a ride my life has been since college graduation. You all know most of the story, so I'll spare you the pain of reading it all once again. For those of you who don't know it goes something like this: semester subbing, semester in Peru teaching, 2 months subbing, 3 month maternity leave, temporary 1-year contract attained 4 days before start of school 2010 school year.

Since the first day of school, I've had it in the back of my mind that this position was only temporary and not to get too settled. However, working with such an amazing grade level partner, I became quite fond of the place God had placed me. I tried numerous times to block out the fact that this was just for one year, but I always failed. So instead, I began to pray that God would open a door for me to stay at this school for years to come (until He takes me back to Peru, of course). It's been a long journey filled with lots of prayer, bumps of frustration, and reminders of peace always leaving me in a fit of uncertainty.

Finally today, good news came. My contract will be renewed as temporary status for yet another year. However, the principal assures me that in the grand scheme of things this will not matter. The reason I am not labeled permanent is to enable the teacher on "leave" to continue receiving benefits until she is old enough to retire. Makes sense I suppose.

What's humorous about that you might ask? If you know me, you know that I like to have a plan. Just last week, I mailed out 10 applications to different schools in hopes of finding someone willing to hire me with one year of official experience under my belt. I've prayed over those applications and asked that God would place me in the right school. God would wait until after I send out applications to reveal to me His plan for next year, just like He waited until 4 days before school started last year and a month before school started (in Peru) the year before. 

Life never happens in my timing, so I don't know why I try to pretend I can control it. 

God always has my back, and never fails to amaze me.