Out With the Old...

As I lay here tonight reflecting on the past year, I can't help but consistently recognize the theme of contentment strung throughout the year. I find little to complain about as I reflect over the past 365 days, and I find many experiences to rejoice for. God has stretched me, pulled me, held me, loved me, and taught me so many times this year. Not everything as been easy, but as the end of the year is fast approaching, I can say that every trial, every tear, every laugh, every adventure was completely worth the feeling of accomplishment contentment, and joy I feel at this moment. The year 2012 has been one huge adventure, I'll do my best to highlight a few of {what I would consider} the greatest things of the year.

• Lived completely on my own for the first time. - Since college I have felt very much in limbo, always waiting for the next thing, living with Mom and Dad until it came time to move away. However, I took the plunge, and admitted to myself that I was here to stay for a while, and moved into an apartment of my own. Through this experience, I have found contentment here in this town, and I began to fully feel like this place was just where God wanted me.
• Read the entire Bible in chronological order this year. - Honestly, in the past, I had a bad habit of reading my Bible two-three times a week when I had time. I participated in studies, and did book of the Bible studies on my own, but I was never super consistent. This year, I have learned the value of being in the word daily, and God has taught me so much about the Bible through my reading. I have read the entire Bible through a few times before, yet I still love that every time there is something new to take from it.
• Found a new church where I feel that I belong and experience the Lord each Sunday. - In January I began consistently attending a new church after a two year search. I have gotten involved in the young adults Bible study, made new friends, and learned so much more about the Lord and His Word. I became a member of the church in September, and we hosted a worship benefit in honor of my friend JP in October.
• Traveled to Peru for 5 weeks with the intent of it being my last trip for a while. - Going into my trip, I felt the Lord asking me to let go. I went to Peru with the intention of hanging out with friends, volunteering with Kids Alive, and saying my good-byes to all. However, the Lord wasn't asking me to let go completely, He was simply asking me to be willing to let go of certain things to experience others. This trip to Peru was by far one of the most amazing ministry experiences I have ever had. The memories I hold from the translating medical trip to Huaraz will be with me forever.
• Discovered contentment in my career. - While I have truly enjoyed my three years at NPE, I haven't felt confident of my work and my abilities until this year. I guess three years teaching the same grade and two years with the same partner does that to you. I'm truly enjoying teaching this year, loving my students, and for the first time not feeling super overwhelmed and unsure of what I'm doing. 
• Feared I was losing my mom. - So maybe this isn't the happiest of all moments this year, but it did teach me once again the amazing power of prayer. Mom left work (unbeknownst) to me on Sept. 19 around 10 a.m. to drive herself to the ER for chest pains. I found out about 11:00 after a few trips to the office and a text from my dad. I worried all day, and prayed while forcing back tears and continuing to teach my class of 25 students. Mom remained in the hospital for a little more than 24 hours at which time the diagnosis was unclear...heart failure yes, cause was undetermined. I sat with Mom and Dad in the hospital for about 5 hours on Tuesday and about 8 hours more on Wednesday. Aside from being shot at while climbing a mountain in Peru, these 24 hours were probably the scariest of my life. I prayed fervently for Mom to be healed, my parents are too young to die. This experience taught me the divine power of prayer.
• And lastly, as a result of the process I've been through this year and the contentment I found, the Lord has opened a door I thought was long closed. - After much stress, joy, uncertainty, excitement, anxiety, and cheers the Lord provided my dream come true. I firmly believe all of the above events had to happen in order to prepare me for what lies ahead. I'm moving to Peru in August!!!

I've found contentment in seeking the Lord with my entire self. I've learned what that looks like, and I've learned how to do it like never before. I've seen the work of the Lord, and I've heard Him speak to me many times. I've felt His embrace, and I've sung my heart out in praise to Him. He has sustained me this year, and He has blessed me beyond what I deserve. 

So here's a salute to the end of a wonderfully, frustrating, joyous year. It's been hard, it's been fun, it's been lonely at times, and it's been full of life during others. As the year ends in just two more days, I can't help but smile at how amazingly, challenging and adventurous 2013 will be.

I Listen to Music and Think Too Much

Sometimes in the evenings when everything is put away, after dinner is made, eaten, and cleaned up, and school work is done, I prefer not to watch the brain draining television, but to listen to music and relax. Some nights relaxation comes in the form of lying on my couch with a blanket reading a book, other nights it includes chats with friends in other parts of the world, and still on evenings like this one, I find myself just lying here; no book to read, to friends online to chat with, and no desire to do much of anything but exist and absorb the goodness of peace and quiet all while resting in the arms of my Savior.

As I lie here, the songs that are randomly playing on Pandora could not be more perfect; each one matching a current situation I am facing myself or walking through with a friend. I am overwhelmed by God's goodness, His mercy, and His perfect plan for my life and the lives of my friends. As I rest in His arms, I can't help but smile knowing that no matter what joys and trials experienced here on Earth, they are minuscule in comparison to the greatness of my God and the amazingness of my eternal home in heaven.


As "Even If" by Kutless played a while ago on the radio I couldn't help but think about JP (Juan Pedro) and the predicament he still finds himself in. He's been to doctor upon doctor, one specialist after another, yet still there has been no cure that can be done in Peru aside from prescribing more medicines which sustain his current health without really fixing anything. Last week my church was able to send $2000 to him, which was raised through the Martin's Coupon fundraiser and a night of prayer and praise benefit done at my church. We don't know what the next step is for JP. He has one doctor left in Peru that may be able to help, and if not his only other option would be to travel abroad to seek more advanced medical attention. "Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone, You are God You are good, Forever faithful One." Even if physical healing doesn't come to JP's body, we can rest in the fact that God is still God and He is faithful. His plan for JP's life is bigger than anything we as humans can comprehend.

A few songs later, I was overcome with joy, memories, and stress as I listened to "Este es mi Ano" by Tercer Cielo. This song was my theme song beginning 2012. However, the way I interpreted the song wasn't at all how my year turned out to be. In a lot of ways, this was my year. The Lord has worked overtime in my life, and I have grown so much in my faith this year. My trip to Peru was very different than any trip I'd ever taken, and I discovered a new kind of passion for missions and translating. Add to that a very different classroom dynamic this year which has been a blessing considering it's my last year at NPE (for a while), and I would say this has been a pretty amazing year. As the song translates, "This year will bring better things for me, and I am ready to live with passion and without fear. I will live an intense year because I will go in search of my dreams." In reality, I did live a very different kind of year with this song frequently playing in the back of my mind. However, rather than searching out my dream (of moving to Peru) I let it go. I taught myself to be content in the place the Lord has placed me, and for the first time in a long time, I have truly enjoyed living in the USA. Yet, just when I found my complacency here, the Lord opened the door to my dreams in a way I never would have imagined. I am thrilled to be moving to Peru in August of 2013!

Lastly, I was overcome by the song "You Are" by Colton Dixon. I've heard this song quite a few times on the radio in recent weeks; however, tonight it truly captured my attention like never before. " If I had no voice, if I had no tongue, I would dance for you like the rising sun. And when that day comes and I see your face, I will shout your endless glorious praise. You are the song I'm singing. You are the air I'm breathing." I pray that this song would be my lifestyle. I desire nothing more than to live like a fool for my Savior no matter who is watching. I want the Lord to be the song in my heart, the bounce in my step, and the joy of my smile. He is mine, and I am His and that is all that matters on this Earth.

Those are just a few of the songs that have captured my attention tonight. It seems as if every song that plays touches my heart. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, despite my freezing fingers and toes (because I refuse to turn my heat above 62 or it runs all the time).

I'll leave you with just a few more lyrics that just came on the radio. 

The fullness of Your grace is here with me

The richness of Your beauty's all I see

The brightness of Your glory has arrived

In Your presence God, I'm completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance

Rejoice in this divine romance

Lift my heart and my hands

To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You

Of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room

Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life

In Your presence God I'm completely satisfied