A Heart Divided

It's been over a year since my last post.

Last year I didn't send newsletters like I had previously done either.

This year will be different...

One of my goals is to post on this blog once a month and another is to send out a newsletter quarterly. 

But that's not the reason for this post, so let's get to the point.

Recently, I've been asked by a variety of individuals both in the U.S. and here in Peru which place feels more like home. Honestly, I hate that question, and I still haven't been able to give a straight answer. Although, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give a straight answer.

Merriam-Webster defines home as

• one's place of residence
• the social unit formed by family living together
• a familiar or usual setting
• a place of origin

Taking those meanings into consideration, the first leads me to believe that Peru is home, but the last would imply that Indiana is home. The second and third definitions could be applied to either location.

So what is home? In my opinion a home is what you make it to be. My home in Peru and the life I lead here is much different than my home in Indiana and the life I once lead there or the life I currently lead there during my yearly visits.

As I explained to a friend yesterday, Peru is like my grown-up home. It's where I work, have responsibilities, pay bills, take care of and do life with my husband, etc. But Indiana is my childhood home, my security blanket, my inner peace. When I visit Indiana I get to live in the "past" in some ways. Mom and dad let me stay in their house and take care of me while I'm there, I get to see friends I've known for ages, and overall things really haven't changed much.

Yet, at the same time, Indiana is starting to feel less like home each visit. Knowing that I'll probably never live there again (my husband hates the snow and cold weather), it's becoming more of a refuge to escape the lack of safety and the homesickness I feel in Peru, but in some ways I also feel as if I've begun to disconnect from many of the places and things that were once so near and dear to me.

This return trip to Peru has been the easiest adjustment back to life here I've had yet. Except for avoiding the grocery store for the first five days, I jumped right back into life, filling my schedule with friends, events at the children's home and time with my husband. Today was the first day I've sat home and relaxed since I got back six days ago. 

It's good to be back home, but I miss my other home, too. 

I firmly believe that here on Earth, I'll never again have just one home.

But I do look forward to the day when all my favorite people from both "homes" are with me in our eternal home in heaven. 

And because my heart is divided here on Earth, my heart aches to see my lost friends saved. It's hard to miss them during long (or short) periods of separation, but I can't imagine spending eternity without them.

Homesick

I try to keep my posts and thoughts here positive, shedding light on the good things God is doing in my life. However, we all know that not everything is happy and carefree all the time. We have valleys, plateaus, moments of frustration and loss. It's a process and at times a struggle. Someone once told me that month 3 is the hardest, and I've also been warned that having a plane ticket to go home can at times make it worse. I think I'm beginning to believe both of those statements to be true as I find myself more and more longing for the things I miss - family, friends, my car, chocolate chips and peanut butter, the comfort of home. Here's to me being vulnerable and asking for extra prayers in the days to come.

Tonight I hit my breaking point. After two different friends cancelled plans for the day and another set of last minute plans was ruined, I'd had enough. Weekends seem to be the worst for missing home, especially when I have nothing to do.

While waiting on a friend to call today, I cleaned my apartment, did laundry, worked on my newsletter and some things for school, and chatted with a few friends back home. I had grocery shopping to do and a few other errands to run, but not sure of when I would be heading out, I decided to stay home just in case. Minutes turned to hours, and soon a whole day was "wasted". Of course I got things done, but they weren't the things I'd wanted to do today.

As I was praying this afternoon, I spent some time in silence asking the Lord to speak to me and to reveal to me whatever His plans are for certain situations I'm currently facing. As I waited this was revealed to me: I never said my followers would gain many friends or multitudes of followers, but I did promise to never leave you nor forsake you. Those words have been on my mind all day. It's a great reminder that Christ is the only friend I need.

I'm not sure what happened to my friend group here. I used to hang out with people all the time when I'd visit during July, but since arriving in Peru in August I've seen maybe a handful of those I once considered dear friends. Some have married, others have children, and the rest I guess they've gotten busy with work. I am frustrated with friends who say they want to hang out but are always too busy to find time to do so. I feel like there are only a few people I can call up at any given time to see if they are free to get together, and if it weren't for my "friend" Javier I wouldn't have a social life at all.

I'm tired of being the one to make the effort. I send texts, make the phone calls, and send emails. You find out who your real friends are when you live thousands of miles away. You also learn who your true friends are when you return to a city to live rather than to simply visit.

I'm not writing this to gain your sympathy or even to persuade you to email, text, or call me. I'm writing this to share with you my struggles, my daily battle recently, an area where I need a lot of prayer. I need to force myself to get involved at church and meet friends there. I need to open up more and let people I've recently met in. I need to quit holding on to the past and the friends I used to spend time with.

I still believe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be for this moment in time. Some pretty great things have happened during my time here and in some ways I couldn't be happier with my current life situation. However, I firmly believe the friend situation is the devil's favorite string to pull; it's his way of making me doubt the Lord's plan for me here.

Please pray against Satan's lies and the loneliness I've been feeling. I'm looking forward to returning home in 56 days for 5 short weeks, but I'm sure when that time actually arrives I'll have a hard time saying good-bye.
 

The Apartment Search is Over!

After a semi-frustrating week last week, and a bad start to the weekend, I can finally say I'm feeling more at peace knowing that I now have a place to live. My prayer last week was this, "Dear Lord, Please reveal to me the correct place to live. Open doors in ways unimaginable, and guide to a safe, quiet, cheap location where I can feel at home. And when I find the correct place, help me to know immediately without a doubt that it would be the best place for me."

Last week I was shown three apartments by a realtor. Two were out of my price range and small, and the third one was a decent size but unclean, and I'm not sure how much it would have cost either. A friend took me to see another place, but it too was small and unfurnished...no appliances or anything.

Friday night, I spent the evening scouring websites looking for places that was furnished, within my price range, and outside of the tourist district I'm currently living in. I found a few places online, and had a friend call a few that didn't list prices. On Saturday I had hoped to be able to go see a few, but rather than being responsible, I chose to go to the Children's Home with Javier and visit my kids. Little did I know, but spending time with those kids was just what I needed in the midst of all of the change and uncertainty surrounding me. While the kids grow and change from year to year, my love for them never does. I enjoyed watching the boys play Foosball and joined in the fun a bit. Then we sat and talked with one of the new house parents while the kids colored pictures for a project they are doing. I also helped one of the girls with her English homework shortly before we left.

Sunday, I got up feeling refreshed. I headed to church in Manchay (where some friends from last year's medical trip attend) unsure of what the day would hold. My friend Celia came running up to me and hugged me. She asked me all about being back in Peru, where I was living, etc. After explaining to her I didn't have a place to call home, she immediately had ideas of places to look and asked if I'd want to go with her after lunch. The places she knew of ended up being unfurnished or unavailable. A little discouraged we began asking the watchiemen on the street corners if they knew of anything in the area. One man suggested we buy the Sunday paper because most places advertise in the Sunday classifieds.

With the help of Celia we called a some places and went to visit a few that seemed reasonable. After viewing the first option we were quite disappointed and unsure if it was worth seeing others. However, one listing in the paper of an "impeccable apartment" caught our attention. We called the owner who was more than willing to show us around. As soon as we arrived, I knew it was the place. Fully furnished, withing 5 blocks of where I lived 4 years ago, and in a quieter, gated, residential community. The best part, the rent includes all of my utilities, cable and internet, and it falls right in my budget! It's still a bit further from work than I would like to be, but it's closer to Manchay and my friends there.

It's a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom apartment with a living room and kitchen on the second floor of the building. It's a family home, but a separate unit with its own locks and keys. The owners live on the first floor, and they seem to be very friendly. The wife has already told me that if I am sick or anything let her know, and she will be more than happy to help me with whatever I need. I have a washer, brand new refrigerator, two flat screen tvs, and a proper stove/oven.

After returning Monday to see it with the Headmaster of my school (he wanted to be sure it was safe), I decided to sign the lease on Tuesday, and I will be moving in tomorrow afternoon. I have a friend coming to help me unpack and then we'll go shopping for sheets and towels and such that I don't already have. I'll post pictures at a later time! :)

All I have left to say is, God is faithful! I can't imagine how different this experience would be without knowing that He is with me every step of the way!

Thanks for your prayers concerning this matter! It's such a relief to know I have a place to call home!

Adjusting to My New Normal

Every year I come back to this place. Every year I seem to stay in a slightly more "upscale" area, not intentionally though. Every year I complain about the awful traffic, and I'm amazed that it takes an hour to go a distance I could probably drive in Goshen in a mere 20 minutes. Every year I make new friends and realize old friends weren't that close after all. I always forget how thin the walls are, how cold 60 degrees actually is when it is inescapable, and that toilet paper cannot be flushed. I am reminded every year that showers only have one curtain, and no matter what you do the bathroom floor will end up soaked, and the slippers you left on the bathroom floor will take days to dry out. I'm also reminded each time I come how incredible this place is, and how special each person is.

This time it's different though. I'm not here just as a visitor adapting to the little annoyances for a short amount of time. I'm going to have to deal with traffic, I'll have to figure out if I can buy a shower curtain liner to help keep my floor dry, and I'm going to have to learn to dress in even more layers to deal with the bitter cold but to also be prepared in case the sun does come out. I'm going to have to learn how to pay bills and really live life here in Peru being responsible for more than just having fun.

I'm being spoiled currently, but I know reality will hit soon. I'm staying in a hotel where they clean my room every day including folding my pajamas that I left wrinkled in a haste on my bed. They brought me a space heater because they asked how my first night went and if I was cold, and I said yes. I'm living in a ritzy district only blocks from restaurants, shops, and the ocean, and I'm not paying a dime for any of it.

Yet, despite the luxury of these accommodations I'm uncomfortable. I don't like not having a kitchen, and I've eaten out every meal. I haven't unpacked because I hope to find an apartment in the next few days. I can't have friends over to visit because this place is not my own. I feel like a spoiled rich kid when the maid comes in and organizes my bathroom counter and folds my laundry because I was too hurried to do it myself. Yet, I'm beyond grateful for the accommodations and ease of transitioning these last few days. The school has been wonderful in providing such a living situation, and I could not be more blessed.

I did see two apartments today, and I hope to see more this afternoon. The ones I saw today were both very nice, but one was quite small, and they were both above my desired price range. They were safe though, and luxury apartments only blocks from where I'm currently staying. It's nearly an hour bus ride to school, so I'd also have to consider then the cost of taxis. Aside from that, I want to be comfortable but not so comfortable that my Peruvian friends are uncomfortable coming to visit. Everything I dreamed of my apartment being in the States is everything I fear it being here. It's a weird feeling walking into an upscale, NYC style apartment here, wanting it so bad but wondering how friends would feel if they came to visit.

I'd like to live closer to school. I'd like to live in a residence area with fewer high rises and less tourist traffic. I'd like something cheaper because I have high hopes of using the extra money to pay down my college debt. I'd also like something more central so that I can open my home to friends on a regular basis.

I'm going out this afternoon and tomorrow to see what else is out there. I have confidence that God will reveal to me just the right place when I find it, and I'm praying that happens sooner than later because I'd really like to get settled in, buy groceries, figure out a real budget, and invite friends over for dinner. I feel as if everything in life is currently out of my control, and I'm learning to be patient in the changes.

~One Week / Una Semana~

Next week at this time I will {hopefully} be on the plane from Houston to Lima. It's crazy to think that this has been on the calendar for nearly 9 months now, yet until just recently it's seemed like more of a dream than reality. I've waited for this opportunity for 6+ years, and it's finally happening! I have no doubt that this is the divine timing of the Lord, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm grateful for the time I've had living in my hometown near my parents for the last few years, growing as a professional, learning independence, and building friendships that have changed my life. I'm thankful for the church God lead me to in October of 2011, and I'm beyond blessed by the Bible study I've become a part of.

The good-byes have begun, yet the packing remains a task to be undertaken. I know not everything I have laid out to take will fit, so I'm delaying the stressful decision making process as long as possible; 140 pounds seems like a lot of weight, but as I throw things in my suitcase, I realize those pounds add up quite quickly.

So how am I spending my last week you may ask? Well, last weekend I ran my first 5k Color Run which was a blast. I spent last week relaxing and preparing for the week ahead. This past weekend I went camping with my Bible study which was an amazingly fun time of canoeing, hiking, and soaking up the goodness of God in nature. Grandma came today, and Mom made a mock Thanksgiving dinner complete with pumpkin pie since I won't be here in November for the real thing. A dear college friend is coming to visit Wednesday, I'm hanging out with college friends Thursday, and Friday I've got a coffee date with a few teacher friends and a dinner date with my family at a Japanese SOHO. Sunday I'm sharing at church, dining with church family afterwards, and participating in my final praise and prayer night. Somewhere I'll be squeezing in time to pack and clean my car out, too.

I'm so incredibly excited for the days ahead. I'm dreading the good-byes, and I'm a bit nervous for the transition. However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has gone before me, and He has already paved the way. He knows the struggles I will face, and He knows the inner anxiety I will feel. He will be there for me even when no one else seems to understand, and He will be my hope and faith that I will cling to through the joys and trials of this change.

Again, thank you to each of you for being a faithful prayer warrior throughout the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. I am beyond blessed by each and everyone of you. Thank you in advance for going with me on this journey through your prayers and words of encouragement. Feel free at any time to comment with questions or email me if you'd like further details about anything I post along the way. We're in this together, and I appreciate your support!

~*May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and keep you near always and forever!*~
With much love,
Jessica

The Questions Everyone's Asking...

The Questions:

Are you excited? 

Are you stressed?

How are your plans coming along? 

When do you leave? 

The {simple} Answers:

Yes!

Not really...
As good as they can be.

August 5th.

These questions seem to be conversation starters with me recently. I don't mind them at all since they give me reason to share my excitement about moving to Peru without bringing it up on my own. However, I feel like I bore people with all of my Peru talk, so stop me if you desire. I won't be offended I promise!

And for all of you who aren't bored to death with my Peru talk, read further for the more explained answers to the daily questions I've been getting.

Q: Are you excited?

A: I am most definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, absolutely, positively excited for my upcoming move to Peru! There are some nights recently I haven't been able to sleep because my mind just gets going. I'm excited for authentic Peruvian food. I'm excited to live near the ocean. I'm excited to actually spend time with and really get to know friends that I've only met and known for months at a time. I'm thrilled to finally have this chance to follow through with this dream and desire God placed on my heart as a teenager. 

Q: Are you stressed?

A: Did you read the second sentence in the answer above {the one where I mentioned not being able to sleep some nights}? I think deep down inside I am certainly stressed, but on the surface I'm feeling great. I'm trying to take one day at a time and get done what I can while also working in time to run, read, and soak up hours with family and friends. I don't want to miss any opportunity to be with those important to me, so packing for Peru and all that jazz is of least importance at this point. I still have a month before I have to be out of my apartment, and I've got 44 days before I leave the country...plenty of time!!

Q: How are your plans coming along?

A: Now this is a complicated answer to say the least. God's plans are falling into place, while my plans are irrelevant at this point. I feel that I've done and am doing everything I can possibly do. I have my visa, I'm reading through the curriculum framework I was given, and I'm in prayer daily asking the Lord to guide me and direct me. Like I said in the previous answer, I'm just taking one day at a time. I don't know where my permanent residence will be in Peru, I don't know what my budget will look like,  and I have no idea how to even begin to plan for teaching since I don't know my daily schedules or even how the framework actually works in a real setting. However, my confidence lies in the fact that the Lord has provided up to this point, and I firmly believe that He isn't going to leave me hanging now. Thankfully, I do have a place to stay for the first few weeks I'm in Peru, I will be bringing home more money than I am currently making and the cost of living should be less, and I will be co-teaching the first semester so I can learn the programs and curriculum firsthand before being thrown to the wolves.

Q: When do you leave?

A: My flight is scheduled for departure at 11:55 a.m. central time on Monday, August 5th out of Chicago, and I'll need to arrive at the airport around 9:30 or 10 a.m. Considering the drive is about 2 1/2 hours from where I live, we'll need to leave for the airport at 8:00 a.m. eastern time. If you want to get technical that is 44 days, 7 hours, and 38 minutes from right now. I don't think I'll actually believe that this is really happening though until I'm on the plane, and then I'm sure it will hit me like a ton of bricks. {I will be home for Christmas though, and every time I say it I start to sing it in my mind.}

Prayer cards will be mailed out tomorrow. If you would like one, please let me know so that I can get one in the mail to you, also. I plan to send my first prayer warrior newsletter mid-July, so if you aren't on the email list for that and would like to be, please let me know that, too!

Thank you all for your prayers and support. <3

Visit to the Consulate

Two trips to Chicago in 4 days time - one for business and the other for play - makes for one exhausted girl. I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't blogged much since Spring Break, but with things beginning to happen for my move to Peru I felt it's time for an update. School's been crazy, and honestly, blogging is often something I do in my leisurely time - something that I've desperately been lacking in the midst of ISTEP testing, end of the year assessments, and the end of another academic year in general.

This year's ending is different though as not only do I have to "pack" up my classroom for cleaning, but I must pack up my classroom and move out so that someone else may move in. It's a weird feeling knowing that someone else will be teaching in what has been my classroom the last 3 years, saying good-bye to many wonderful colleagues who have taught me so much about teaching and life, and passing on students to fourth grade knowing that next year I won't see them in the hallway, and I won't be around to watch the grow as they progress through 6th grade. It's a bittersweet feeling, and I feel like my emotions are all over the place. I'm sad to say good-bye, but I'm overjoyed to take on this next step, my life's dream, in the upcoming months.

Anyways, onto the main reason for this post...The Peruvian Consulate in Chicago - what an adventure! Mom and I took the day off work on Thursday to head up to Chicago and begin the visa application process (not knowing what all it would entail, I wanted to be sure to get a jump start so that there is plenty of time should things go awry). I had called the consulate numerous times and left multiple voicemails asking for business hours, information on what paperwork was needed for my visa, and the process in which the visa would be returned (mail or pick-up). Every call went unanswered, and every voicemail was left unreturned. I tried emailing, too, but again no responses were given.

On Thursday, Mom and I decided to take our chances, take a day off work, and head up to Chicago to see what this whole visa process was about. I had done my research online as best I could with no help from the Peruvian Consulate, and I took every government ID document I've every been issued with me just in case. We arrived at the consulate and the place was chaos. There were about 20 people in the room, some seated, some standing, most looking very confused. After standing near the window and being ignored while other person's names were being called out, I asked a man if there was a place to sign in. Apparently the man behind the counter was hoarding it behind the glass, so I asked for the notepad, and I signed my name. I was called up to the window a short time later.

At the window I was greeted by a woman who spoke little English and a man who spoke only Spanish. I decided to speak Spanish since English didn't go so well, and every Peruvian in the place stopped what they were doing to stare and listen in. I handed the man my visa application along with my passport, a letter from the school, my flight schedule, and 2 passport ID photos. They asked for my $30 payment, so I handed the man $40 (in the form of two $20 bills); however, he wanted exact change. {Peruvians don't like giving change if unnecessary, and I have no idea why.} He asked me to sign my name and place my fingerprint on the application, and then he told me to return on Wednesday to pick up my completed visa (which would be placed in my passport). WHAT?!

I explained that I live 3 hours away and that I work, so returning in 6 days was nearly impossible. I asked if there was any way the visa could be processed that day or returned to me via post. There was no way the visa could be processed that day, but a postal return was possible IF I could walk to the post office a mile away, get a cardboard self-addressed, stamped envelope, and return it to the Consulate. {Now why wasn't this piece of information online? Had they returned my phone calls or emails, this was one of the questions I had asked.} This being our only option, we thought it best to take the 2 mile total hike and return.

However, before leaving I asked for a recipe. No, I'm not kidding, I asked for a recipe. Ha! A few people chuckled behind me, and when the man behind the counter looked at me very confused I knew I hadn't used the correct term. I panicked and turned around looking for someone to help me out. At least 3 people shouted the correct word for receipt to me, and I then tried my question again. Ud. puede darme un recibo? {Will you please give me a receipt?} "No," he said, "not today. It will be sent with your passport." I told the man I would return shortly with the proper envelope and postage, and Mom and I left for a jaunt down Michigan Avenue. We returned with the envelope, the man took it, and I left.

Now my passport sits in the Chicago Peruvian Consulate with $30 and a proper envelope waiting to be returned to me. I have no documentation to prove I paid the fee. As a matter of fact, I have no evidence that I left any paperwork at the consulate at all. I was refused any sort of document saying they had my passport or that I paid. I'm a bit concerned that I won't receive my passport back or that it will come without a visa put in it, and I will have no way of proving anything.

I'm clinging to the fact that the Lord has miraculously worked out every other detail of this career move to this point, and I seriously doubt He's going to leave me hanging now. Sending up many prayers that my passport arrives in my mailbox within the next few weeks. If you think of it, please send up a few prayers for me, too!

*As I start to prepare more heavily for this transition, I would like to invite you to subscribe to my {hopefully} monthly updates. I do plan to blog and give updates using this blog and on Facebook; however, more personal prayer requests and updates will be emailed out once a month {at least that's my plan}. If you would like to join this email list, please comment with your email address. I would love to add you to my list of prayer warriors! 
*I will also be making prayer cards to send out. If you would like to receive one of these, please comment with your address. Once these are made and ordered, I will be sure to send one out to you.

**All comments are sent to my inbox and not published until I approve them. Any comments with email or address information will not be published to this blog.**

Thank you for all of your support as I follow the journey the Lord has placed before me!

~One last side note, for those of you who are wondering, I am continuing to pray for the nations. I am currently praying for France and working my way through the countries beginning with F & G. Perhaps I will update you on my Prayer for the Nations challenge in an upcoming entry. Now that school is finishing {this week}, I should have quite a bit of free time.~

Why Go There {Peru}?

When I first learned I'd be moving to Peru later this year, I was quick to share the news with those close to me, and a little hesitant to voice it aloud to those I didn't know so well. I hated all the follow-up questions.

• Why are you going there? (It has been a dream of mine for quite some time.)
• Do you not like your job here? (I l...o...v...e my job here, but I feel like this is what God wants me to do.)
• What will you be teaching when you get there? (3rd and 4th grade English in a private British school.)
• Where will you live? (I don't know!)
• Do you have family or a boyfriend there? (Nope!)

Then came the statement, "That's great for you! I'd never be able to do that. You are so brave."

Now, I'm getting used to the shocked faces, the excited responses, and the "you're crazy" conversations. I am starting to enjoy the reactions I get from people, and it has become a great way to openly share my faith.

It's interesting to see the responses I get when I tell people that I feel like moving to Peru is what God wants me to do. Some of them respond with, "Well that's great for you! Good luck!" Others ask further questions. Not too long ago I was asked by a friend of mine how I knew that was God's plan and not just a dream of my own. It was awesome to share with her (she has a very skewed knowledge of the Bible) my certainty that this was God's plan and not my own doing.

It was my dream when I was searching for a job in Peru. I spent two years checking schools online for postings and emailing my resume shortly before the end of each academic year. At that time it wasn't God's plan, it was my own. Now I am confident that this is God's plan because for over a year I hadn't even looked at a Peruvian school webpage. I quit searching on my own, and I told God that if it was what He wanted then He had to open the door. I told God I was done trying to override His plan for my life. It was just a few short months later that God opened the door I had been seeking and hoping for since 2009.

My friend didn't respond much, and recently has informed me that she just isn't sure where her life is headed or what she is supposed to do with herself. It breaks my heart that she doesn't put her confidence in the Lord, but I have hope that my testimony reached her even if in only a small way.

I've been able to share with people about ministry and missions I'm involved with in Peru, and I've realized a deeper passion for the Lord and a greater desire to serve Him in all that I do. No longer do I get annoyed with all of the questions people ask, but I welcome them.

Soon, I'll be in Peru, and I'm sure the taxi drivers will ask me why I'm there. It happens every year. While it may get old answering the same questions over and over again, my hope is that the Lord will use me through this to be a vessel for Him and reach people in this lost and dying world.

My prayer tonight: Take my life and let it be, all for YOU and for YOUR glory! I will not boast in me alone, for I know that it is only by God's grace and His plan that I am able to live this wonderful life I'm living. He is good, and only He is worthy to be praised!

The Lord's Timing is ALWAYS Right

In August 2013, I will be changing geographical locations and moving across the equator. No, this does not come as a result of the election results; although they were unfavorable in my opinion. This decision has come after a random email one September day and nearly two months of intense prayer asking that the Lord would slam the door shut if it were not meant to be. However, He didn't slam the door; in fact, He has left it wide open!

If you have kept up with my blog, you probably already know that since my sophomore year of high school I have dreamed of teaching overseas. My dreams were crushed by a professor my junior year of college, a professor who went as far as attempting to persuade me that teaching wasn't my forte. This professor, my practicum advisor, had me in tears more than once, and my residents (I was an RA that year) always knew when I had met with this particular woman. After graduating university and a second mission trip to Peru, I was reminded of my dream to live and teach in South America, and the Lord provided an opportunity to do just that for a short time from August - December in the year 2009. Ever since this experience I've dreamed of going back; yet the more I prayed, the more I felt the Lord saying, "not right now."

I have found comfort and joy in working at New Paris Elementary for the last three years. Since acquiring a third grade position at NPE, I have always said that if I have to be in the USA there is no place I'd rather be.  However, my dreams of returning to teach in Peru never subsided. Since January 2010, I have prayed for an opportunity to return to Peru to teach making a sustainable wage while also being involved in ministry outside of the school day.

In June I quit praying to return to Peru. Having moved into my own apartment in January, and feeling confident in my position at work, I decided I would let the Lord open the door when it was His time, and if He never did, I would be content. I remember going for a run, one morning in early June. I left my iPod at home; it was just me and God. I cried out to the Lord and prayed that His desires would become my desires. I told him that I was no longer going to pray for a teaching position in Peru, but that I would wait for Him to open that door in His timing, if it were His desire.

You may recall posts leading up to my trip to Peru in which I stated this year was my year for closure and good-byes. I treated it just as that, too. I had been offered two opportunities for interviews while in Peru, both of which I turned down - one at a Catholic school and the other at a missionary school in which I would be responsible to raise all of my funds. I left Peru feeling confident that Goshen, Indiana was right where I belong, and I started into the school year by consuming myself with work as not to meditate on my time in Peru. 

On September 10, everything changed. I was contacted by a school I had actually interviewed with in 2009; however, at the time the only position available was a preschool position. This time they asked me to apply for a 3rd/4th grade position. I expressed my concern of the school year beginning in February in Peru and not being able to leave my job here until June. The response I received was exciting: "We wouldn't need you until July, in time to start our 2nd semester." I asked about the pay, and I learned that after taxes my net income would be considerably more than I am making here. At first I wanted to run, to say no, and to continue life as normal, ignoring the whole ordeal. I am supposed to be here, remember?

However, the longer I let it sit and prayed about it, the more I felt the need to apply. I talked with a few Godly people whose opinions are dear to me, all of which told me this was the perfect opportunity. Upon telling my parents, my mom freaked out, and my dad didn't say much at all. I knew that would be my most difficult conversation before I even had it. I applied for the job on September 24th, and I was offered an interview on October 29. 

The whole time I prayed for an obvious sign if this were not the right thing for me. I asked the Lord to slam the door shut or to provide complete peace. After my interview I felt very confident that this opportunity was indeed from the Lord, and I waited patiently (checking my email every hour) for a response. Finally, on Monday, November 5, I received the email I had been waiting for...I was offered the job. I accepted the offer last evening.

I am thankful that I have nearly 9 months to prepare myself for the move to Peru. I know it isn't going to be easy saying good-bye, cramming what I can into 2 suitcases and a carry-on, and packing up the rest of my belongings to sit in boxes for 2.5 years. However, I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord is going to do great things in my future. I knew all along that ...este es mi ano!

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me! I would love to answer them! :)

So I'm Going to Peru...

If you asked me two months ago where I'd be teaching in the fall, I would have told you I didn't have a clue. I would have told you that I'd hopefully be teaching in a school somewhere in or near my hometown, but there were no openings so I would most likely be substitute teaching for yet another year. However, things quickly changed after I returned from my 2nd mission trip to Lima, Peru in mid-June.

You see, since graduation in December 2008, I have prayed each day that God would provide me with a teaching position and that I would be willing to go wherever he would have me to go...even if that meant leaving my comfort zone. I believe this prayer is what lead me to seek openings in North Carolina. I went as far as taking a long weekend to fly with friends to N.C. and attend a job fair. The whole time I told the girls that something just didn't feel right to me. I was not certain that N.C. was really where God wanted me. Still in my mind, I thought this was one more piece of evidence that I was supposed to remain in Northern Indiana. Little did I know, but God had a very different idea in mind. After returning from Peru in June, I felt a pulling against my better judgement and began to seek out teaching positions in or around La Molina where the Kids Alive home is located. I wasn't sure this was really where God wanted me, and I turned down about 5 offers due to the amount of support I would have to raise. However, God spoke to me one evening and gave me a more open mind towards missions teaching, and the next day he provided an opportunity that more closely matched my needs.

I have accepted a temporary teaching contract with Lima International School of Tomorrow (a.k.a. LISOFT). This is a Christian based school with my emphasis in modern technology and teaching methods. I am going as a missionary teacher; the school provides the housing and pays me a small wage, but I must raise support to cover some of the costs such as flights, insurance, etc. I will be co-teaching grades 1-3 with a Peruvian lady. I will live in on "campus" housing which sounds to be about the equivalent of a college dorm room. I will also be volunteering at the Kids Alive home some evenings and weekends. The school year runs from March-December (their seasons are opposite of ours), so I will be coming in during the second semester and finish out the school year. At this time, I will have the opportunity to sign a two year contract or simply return home and re-enter the job search in America.

I love how God moves when we open our hearts and minds to him. I have held the dream of teaching in a Spanish culture since about my sophomore year of high school; however, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would actually have this opportunity. I'm so excited to see God work and move throughout my next 4 months in Peru.

Please pray for me as I prepare to leave on August 12, 2009!