Fear vs Peace

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

Right now, my mind is fighting a battle of FEAR vs PEACE. 

FEAR is winning, and it's tearing my heart and mind to shreds.

I have become very anxious and worried of my time in Peru. 

Fearful of the unknown that lies ahead.

Satan is attacking me, and I do not appreciate it at all.

How will I spend my time? Will I get bored if my friends are all working?

A month without a schedule; it sounds lonely and boring.

What if I get there and discover this isn't my life's dream anymore?

An altered plan for my future; it seems ridiculous and heartbreaking.

What if challenges come my way that I cannot handle?

The Lord is my strength; I feel terrified, but His strength makes me powerful.

I am going to Peru to love on God's people. I should feel at peace.

Peace that the Lord provided financially in ways I never imagined.

I have been looking forward to this trip since I returned State-side last June.

What will I get to do when I go back?

Travel and spend time with friends; it seems so exciting.

When will I get to continue to follow God's calling for my life in Peru?

The time is now; I don't want to waste a moment.

Will it get harder every time to say good-bye?

Of course it will; it's so encouraging to call them Family.

I pray tonight as I prepare for sleep that my fear would be overcome by peace. I pray that I would remember all the excitement I've experienced as I've prepared for and longed for this trip to come. I pray against Satan and fight for my Lord; peace will overcome fear. Christ will defeat you Satan!

So You Want to Know...

I'm leaving for Peru in 13 days. Actually, to be exact, I'm leaving for Peru in 12 days, 16 hours, 4 minutes and 50 seconds. In the recent days I've been asked a wide range of questions pertaining to my trip, some have had easier responses than others, but they have all made me stop and think. I thought I'd take some time tonight to reflect over recent conversations and share some of them with others of you that might be wondering the same things.

1. When are you leaving and how long will you be gone? - My plane is scheduled for take off on July 2, at 9:47 a.m. out of Chicago. I am scheduled to then return to Chicago on August 1, at 1:50 a.m.


2. What are you going to do while you're there? - While I don't have any set in stone plans my tentative schedule allows me lots of time to just hang out and have a good time with those that are near and dear to my heart. I plan to attend my church there as much as possible, help out at the Kids Alive home and family care centers, help out with SIM events, and participate in whatever other ministry opportunities come my way. I also intend to spend large amounts of time with friends and travel to Mancora and Cuzco/Machu Picchu. Last but not least, I hope to spend some time on the beach learning to surf via my favorite surfing instructor ;)


3. Why do you always go back to Peru? Wouldn't it be more exciting to travel somewhere different? - This question has been asked to me quite a few times, and I'm certain that I give a different answer every time.

Let me first say that I love traveling, and I do desire to see other parts of the world. However, let me counteract that with the fact that if I'm spending large amounts of money to go somewhere, I want to make sure that my money is put to good use in spreading the gospel of Jesus to those I meet along the way. Now, could I do that on a normal vacation? Of course I could, although, at this time in my life, my heart aches for Peru on a daily basis. I don't feel that my work there is finished, and I feel called to return as time and money allow in order to continue to build relationships and share Jesus with my "family" there. Also, there are many parts of Peru that I have not yet seen, and like on this trip, I will be taking mini-vacations to some of those locations.


While I'm away there are many ways you can keep in touch with me. I have a U.S. phone number for my iPod that I can be reached at, so if you want that just ask. Also, I will be able to use email, Facebook and Skype and of course, I will try my best to keep you up to date via this blog. If you need or want any of my contact information for the techy gadgets please contact me, and I'll send you what you need to know :)

As I prepare for my time away I ask that you would please pray for my safety. I will be flying with a Spanish airline through Latin America which is a new experience for me. I'm a little bit nervous about this (especially my 3 hour layover in Columbia). Also, pray that I remain healthy during my short time there and pray that I would be able to effectively do whatever God places before me while in Peru. Thank you so much for taking interest in the happenings of my life and for lifting me up in prayer.

Now there are only 12 days, 15 hours, 30 minutes, and 53 seconds until I leave! How exciting! :)

The Journey vs The Destination

There are many famous quotes that focus on the importance of the journey; most of them blatantly point out that life isn't about the destination, but rather it is made up of a journey taking us to our final destination. I've had many conversations based around this topic recently, and it's really got me thinking.

Each one of us lives life in a daily pursuit of the journey laid out in front of us. That journey eventually leads to eternity in heaven with our Creator, or it could lead us to eternal damnation in Hell. Whether you find yourself working the same monotonous job every day or living a life of leisure and travel, you're on a journey and the final destination always results in one of the two options above.

I believe most humans are in pursuit of an earthly destination. I know I often think that when A happens, I'll follow through with B and life will be joyful and wonderful from that point forward. I tend to think that A is the final destination, and when I reach that, I will then be able to fulfill God's will for my life. However, the exact opposite is true. There is no final destination on this earth; there is no A! My daily purpose should be to seek God and fulfill His will for my life. I cannot wait until A happens to begin spreading the gospel and leading a life worth living. I must do that now, each and every day.

I was talking with two friends just last week...one a recent college graduate, the other has been at her job for 3 or 4 years now. As we chatted, we all came to the conclusion that we have no idea what we're supposed to do with our lives. We each have ideas and desires for our lives, but we don't understand what God's purpose for us is. That's when all of this clicked. God's plan for my life, is the life I'm living right now! I can't sit here waiting for life to change; God has placed me here at this time to fulfill His purposes through me. My witness doesn't begin when I go back to Peru. I stand daily as a witness of Christ, and I need to be using that to its maximum potential to spread the Good News throughout this lost and dying world. If I wait until I reach the destination to begin spreading God's Word, it will be too late; for as I stated above there is only one destination: Heaven or Hell.


We're each on a journey with one final destination. Why wait another day to begin to make a difference right where you are? Tomorrow might be too late!

Heavy

I'm not sure what it is, but my heart feels heavy. 

I have been having the strangest dreams at night, 

often leaving me waking up slightly frightened
or on the verge of tears.

What are these dreams exactly?
Most of the time, I can't even remember them.

Last night I woke up at 3:43 a.m. nearly in tears. After I gather myself, I tried to recall exactly what had brought on this feeling. The only thing I could remember was that I had been talking with children in Spanish; the children seemed anxious about something. 

At this I woke up, I felt tears burn my eyes, and I heard the voice of God say, "PRAY!!" It was loud, it was clear, and it was demanding. What to pray for, I wasn't exactly sure, so I prayed, "God, whatever it is that you have laid so strongly on my heart, these children you have placed in my dream, bless them. Lead them out of trouble and into Your loving arms. Hold them God, and let them find comfort in You alone." At that, I felt peace, and shortly after I drifted back to sleep. I slept peacefully the rest of the night, yet when I awoke at 6:30, reminders of that earlier episode flooded my mind. Throughout the day I have been reminded of this event, and throughout the day, I have wondered who these children are. Are they kids I knew in Peru? Are they children on a mission field I have yet to find? Are they kids I will one day meet or are they children who only passed through my dream? My heart aches for them, but whoever they are and whatever situation they are facing, I know my God is in control, and He is walking with them every step of the way. 

Even on my worst days, I'm thankful that God has chosen to use me to aide in the advancement of His kingdom. I'm sinful and not very important by the world's standards, but in God's eyes I am loved and adored.

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.' ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9