Dios es Fiel! ~ Days 1 & 2

God is faithful!

It's amazing how the Lord is able to set my mind at ease as soon as the plane lands in Lima. Monday was a long day. With no time to sleep Sunday except a quick 30 minute nap at 11pm, I was exhausted as I boarded the plane in Chicago at 3 a.m. We left promptly and arrived in Guatemala City on time; however, the sky was overcast, so we taxied in the air for approximately 45 minutes. The pilot came on and told us if we couldn't land in the next 15 minutes he could continue on to El Salvador and land there. You can only imagine how my stress level rose and I begin to plan out how I am going to reroute my flights, how I can contact Leo (my ride) to tell him I may be arriving in Lima late, and how I would catch my next flight should we land in Guatemala as it was scheduled to leave in 20 minutes. Finally, we were able to land in Guatemala City, and I was praising the Lord that it was a small airport. I, along with 4 others from my flight, rushed through security and on to our gate where we rushed aboard the plane, only to have the doors shut behind us. My other flights went smoothly to Costa Rica and then to Lima. We arrived in Lima 15 minutes early even, and Leo was there to pick me up. The Lord is faithful!

As we flew over Peru and I began to recognize the territory, my stress from flying and anxiety over what these 5 weeks would have in store was quickly transformed to excited and pure joy. I began to imagine who I wanted to see, what foods I wanted to eat, and places I would like to visit. I realized that all of my fear was from my person, but the Lord provided me joy and gratitude.

Upon arriving at the mission house, I took a moment to just sit and relax before showering and unpacking my bags. My cell phone chip had expired (they only last 2 months when not being used apparently), so after a little bit of chill time, I walked 10 blocks to the grocery store where I could buy a cell phone chip and start connecting with friends. After walking the 10 blocks back "home", I decided to contact a few friends, and went to bed shortly after. 

Tuesday I slept in, and then I organized a few items and off to the store I went to buy only enough groceries so that I could carry them back. I didn't want to pay a taxi to carry me 10 blocks home. Later in the afternoon, I went to my friend Gisell's house (you may remember her as the girl I went to Cuzco with last year), and later I spent time with my dear friend Teresa and her family. 

When I arrived at Teresa's house, I felt right at home as her father said, "Que bueno verte hijita!" (How great to see you daughter!) The rest of her family greeted me with strong hugs and kisses (as is custom here). Her family is wonderful, and I enjoy the time I am able to spend with them.

After returning home last evening near 12:30 a.m. I chatted with a few friends to make plans for day 3, and headed to be shortly after. I slept soundly, free of fear and anxiety, and excited to see how the Lord will direct my path this month. Already I can see his hand at work in my time here, and I am thrilled to see how he will use me. There's never a dull moment here, and while many days I feel exhausted, I love being here and the company I am surrounded with.

So here's to 33 more days in Peru! I know it is going to pass faster than I can even begin to imagine. Already my schedule is filling up!

Inside my head...

is a scary place to be!

I'm leaving tomorrow; heading to Chicago around 5 p.m. with my parents, and hopping on a plane to Peru at 3:05 a.m. Monday morning. Actually, I probably won't be hopping at 3 in the morning, but rather, I'll be lugging my carry-on bag behind me as I groggily trudge my way to my seat where I intend to sleep during the 3 hr 20 min flight to Guatemala City. 

Considering that I'm leaving tomorrow, how do you suppose I spent my evening? If you guess packing, you are incorrect. Cleaning? Wrong again! Hanging out with friends? Nope! If you know me well, you can imagine that my bags have been neatly packed and weighed to their exact limits and sitting near my door since Thursday evening. The cleaning was completed earlier this afternoon, and my good friends all live too far away to hang out with on a Saturday evening. This evening, I spent time by myself reading, watching television, and relaxing. Actually, I take that back; while pretending to do said things, my mind was wandering to thoughts of the next five weeks and how things will go.

"Just remember what made you love Peru in the first place!" 

This is from a text my best friend sent me tonight as I expressed to her the anxiety I feel. I know this year will be different, but then again, every year is different than the one before it. People change, life moves on, and the past has passed. I don't know what to expect when I arrive in Peru this summer. I don't know what to expect when I leave Peru at the end of July. All I know is that I must focus my thoughts on the greater purpose for which I am there. 

I fell in love with Peru not because I had friends there or because it was a beautiful place to be. I fell in love with it because the children touched my life in a way I will never forget. I fell in love with Peru because that was where I felt the presence of the Lord in my life more than I had ever felt it before. I fell in love with Peru because it was there that God opened my eyes to a whole new world outside of my bubble back in Indiana. It was Peru that taught me to be vulnerable, to love like Christ loved me, and to live in complete faith. In Peru I learned to try new things, to be adventurous, and to live each day to its full potential. It was in Peru that I truly learned the Spanish language and began to understand the difference between American culture and Latin culture. It was in Peru that the Lord shaped and molded me to have a passion for missions. 

Peru has played a major role in my transition from college into adulthood, but I cannot give the credit to a perishable item. God is the one who caused the growth and change I went through because of the missions I was able to attend to Peru. God is the one who has a greater purpose for my life than I realize, and it just so happens that He used Peru to ignite a spark deep within me. To God be the glory, not myself or Peru. 

I'm nervous to leave tomorrow; I can think of many other things I could do with my summer instead. However, I realize that God isn't quite ready to end the story of Peru in my life. Honestly, I don't think He will even end it after this trip, but I do think He's ready {as am I} for the end of one book and perhaps the start of a second. Will I return to Peru? I hope so! Although, for whatever reason, I don't think it will be for at least a few years.

Don't take this wrong. I'm not giving up and deciding to remain here in northern Indiana for the remainder of my life. Missions is still a huge desire of mine. However, I realize that my debts must be paid before many organizations will even consider taking me on as a missionary. I trust that the Lord is preparing the way, and all He has asked is that I be obedient to His way. I'm excited to see where the Lord leads me in the coming years!

Please pray with me as I once again journey to Peru {a land foreign to many of you}. 

While I'm in Peru:

Some pictures will be posted here, but the majority will be on Facebook.

I have a personal {texting only} US number that can be used to keep in touch with me. If you would like that number please let me know! I cannot receive calls, and can only respond when I have wi-fi, but I will do my best to respond as soon as possible.

Email: jessica.oconnor86@gmail.com
Skype: jessrenee1986

Late Night Musings

Despite my exhaustion, I am finding it difficult to sleep. My mind keeps replaying the events of last weekend in North Carolina and then wandering to thoughts of my upcoming trip to Peru. This summer has already been a blast, Peru will be fun, and when I come home, it will be time to dive back into prepping and planning for a new school year. It seems crazy!

Last Saturday my dear friend Liz got married on the beach in North Carolina. It was a simple wedding, yet it was beautiful as well. I drove down on Wednesday with three of my college friends, and we were reunited with eight other dear friends on Thursday and Friday. It was so fun to hang out with everyone. We laughed, we danced, and we slept very little. The exhaustion that I feel is totally worth the joy that I felt hanging out with my best friends on the beach all weekend. I was sad to say good-bye, but I'm thrilled that the next reunion is another wedding planned in Nashville in early January. Let the countdown begin!!

As I unpacked my suitcase this evening, I was overwhelmed with nerves and excitement for my fast approaching return to Peru {June 25-July 30}. I get this way every year, but this year seems different. A lot has changed since my visit last summer both in my life and in the lives of my Peruvian friends. For me personally: I have my own apartment, I've found a church I love, I've made new friends, and I've found a sense of contentment here I haven't felt in a while. In Peru my friends are graduating university, working, dating, traveling, and who knows what else. This year will be different.

In the last three months the Lord has really been working on my heart and mind (not that He doesn't all the time, maybe I'm just paying attention more now). Peru will always hold a special place in my heart, and I still do long for the opportunity to return to Peru to work in ministry of some form. However, I am realizing that at this time that isn't God's plan for my life; it has been my plan all along, my dream, and my desire. God has provided amazing opportunities for me to return to Peru for short visits, but His intentions for me at this time are not long term; perhaps that will change later in life.

With that being said, I'm viewing the summer in Peru as my time for closure. I will use my time to enjoy the friends I've made and the ministries that I've been a part of, but I will not use it to meet with principals and scout out schools as I've done in the past. I'm sure it will be hard saying good-bye at the end of my five week visit, but I can honestly say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has me right where He wants me for the time being. It's exciting to feel that sense of peace, but at the same time a part of me is still wanting to hold on to my dream of "getting out of this town". Maybe one day I'll get that opportunity; for now, I'll enjoy the mini vacations I'm able to take.

If you would, please join me in prayer as I prepare for my departure Sunday evening. It seems that there is lots that needs to be done before I go. Also pray for my time in Peru. Pray that I would be a blessing to the Peruvians and that I would get the closure that I need as I say hello and good-bye to friends who have become like family. At this point, I am not planning on returning next year {I hope to pay down on my college debt instead}, so leaving at the end of July could be tough. Please pray for my safety traveling, pray for my health as I deal with different climates and air than I'm used to here in the States, and pray for my ministry, that I would joyfully spread the good news of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to the Peruvians I am in contact with.

I will be posting contact information soon for all of you! Look for those details in my next post :)

Why I Do It

What is my life calling? That is a question I find myself asking quite a bit recently. As I've glanced around at Master's programs, talked about moving overseas, and explored various mission organizations, I feel as if I have a world of opportunity awaiting me. Yet, I don't know which door is right to walk through. That's when I have to remind myself, over and over again, that God is in control. He will open doors, guide my steps, and use me as He sees fit in His perfect timing.

Don't get me wrong, I love teaching; but I've been feeling pretty tired and worn out recently. I'm exhausted, and some mornings, going to school is the last thing I want to do. Part of it is the end of the year syndrome, and part of it is due to classroom circumstances I feel are beyond my control. Only by the power of the Lord am I able to make it through some days without a frustration breakdown.

Today, however, I was reminded time and time again why I do what I do. As I graded Word Study sentences this evening, tears seriously started forming in my eyes.  One students wrote, "You are my best teacher, Miss O'Connor." Another stated, "Miss O'Connor is a true beauty." Still another had written, "Yesterday I laughed because Miss O'Connor was funny." While these were fun and touching sentences, it was a series of events earlier in the day that lead to me feeling especially loved by my kiddos this evening.

I did reading testing for end of the year benchmark today. Basically, I sat in a room and had student after student read with me, I asked them questions about the reading, and eventually assigned a reading level to the child all via a program on the iPad. As I looked back on where each child was at the beginning of the year, I was amazed that some had grown 6, 7, 8, and even 9 reading levels this year. I couldn't believe how far some of these kids have come. At the end of the day, when all students were completed, I sat back and had to smile thinking of all the hard work that has gone into teaching these kids to read this year and preparing them for the IREAD-3 and ISTEP tests that they recently finished.

The best part of the whole day though occurred after school through a conversation with the substitute who was in my classroom. My students make me so proud! After a tough situation in class today the substitute said she sat down with my students and told them that they needed to put the situation behind them and have a better afternoon. My students then responded by telling her that I had taught them that they needed to be praying for the situation, and that I {Miss O'Connor} pray about it, too. My heart was happy.

I guess at the end of the day (or school year), even if they still blurt out, forget to write their names on their papers, leave labels off their math answers, and argue on occasion, if I have taught them the power of prayer and obedience to the Lord, then my job is done. I may be working in a public school, but that doesn't mean my life and actions can't display Christ to all of the children I come into contact with each day. God is so good, and I'm thankful for the little reminders He provides. Those reminders recently have been proving to me that God has me right where He wants me, for such a time as this.


**While I'm seriously enjoying life, I'm still super excited for my 5 week trip to Peru in just 46 days!!

Torn but Spoken For

Some friends and I took a semi-impromptu trip to Washington, DC last weekend. I had a 3 day weekend off school, so I thought it'd be a great idea to get away. It was nice to be out of this town and spend some time with friends I don't really hang out with much. It was a fun, exhausting weekend away, but totally worth it. I gained a new appreciation for my country, and I felt proud to be a citizen of this nation. It was a feeling I have only felt a few times in the past, but not a daily point of gratitude I recognize in my life.

My heart, mind, and soul are divided. I have a great life here in the U.S. but {most of} you know that I feel called to Peru. That is where I feel happiest and the most at peace. I feel content here, but often I find myself just living the day to day life without realizing my purpose. Is it wrong to be content here? I don't believe so. Does God use me more effectively in Peru than He does here? I honestly can't say that He does. So why do I feel more "useful" living in Peru and serving there than I do here in the U.S.? I have no idea. 

On our very long drive home, I spent some time reading the Bible and thinking about God's calling on my life. I don't think being here is wrong by any means. Honestly, the longer I'm here, the more I'm enjoying it. Moving out of my parents' house has been wonderful. Yes, I do miss them, but I feel more settled and less "in waiting". Yet, still, not a day goes by that Peru isn't on my mind. Whether it comes up in my classroom, an interesting post on Facebook, or a Spanish conversation with Peruvian friends, my days are filled with memories of life in Peru. 

As I pondered God's calling, and read His word, my focus shifted from my desires and residency here on Earth to God's purpose and my citizenship in heaven. It's not about me, and it doesn't matter where I live, God will and does use me each and every day for His purposes. In my classroom here in America or at the orphanage in Peru, God uses me, and none of that is by mistake. He has me where He wants me in my job each day, and he provides opportunities for ministry in Peru during my summer vacations. In a way, I've got the best of both worlds. 

Ultimately, it does not matter where I live on Earth. As long as I'm open, God will use me where I am. I'm not going to earn a higher place in heaven because I lived in Peru. My citizenship is in heaven, and that is all that matters!!

Ephesians 3:17-21 ~ 17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. 18 For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

And what's a post about finding my American identity without a few pictures? Enjoy :)

Cassandra and I with the Capital Building in the background.

Front of the 'Casa Blance' - White House

Dwight D. Eisenhower building - prettiest building in D.C.

WW2 Memorial - Each star equals 100 lives lost :'( 

Lincoln Memorial

Arlington National Cemetery - Breathtaking