Torn but Spoken For

Some friends and I took a semi-impromptu trip to Washington, DC last weekend. I had a 3 day weekend off school, so I thought it'd be a great idea to get away. It was nice to be out of this town and spend some time with friends I don't really hang out with much. It was a fun, exhausting weekend away, but totally worth it. I gained a new appreciation for my country, and I felt proud to be a citizen of this nation. It was a feeling I have only felt a few times in the past, but not a daily point of gratitude I recognize in my life.

My heart, mind, and soul are divided. I have a great life here in the U.S. but {most of} you know that I feel called to Peru. That is where I feel happiest and the most at peace. I feel content here, but often I find myself just living the day to day life without realizing my purpose. Is it wrong to be content here? I don't believe so. Does God use me more effectively in Peru than He does here? I honestly can't say that He does. So why do I feel more "useful" living in Peru and serving there than I do here in the U.S.? I have no idea. 

On our very long drive home, I spent some time reading the Bible and thinking about God's calling on my life. I don't think being here is wrong by any means. Honestly, the longer I'm here, the more I'm enjoying it. Moving out of my parents' house has been wonderful. Yes, I do miss them, but I feel more settled and less "in waiting". Yet, still, not a day goes by that Peru isn't on my mind. Whether it comes up in my classroom, an interesting post on Facebook, or a Spanish conversation with Peruvian friends, my days are filled with memories of life in Peru. 

As I pondered God's calling, and read His word, my focus shifted from my desires and residency here on Earth to God's purpose and my citizenship in heaven. It's not about me, and it doesn't matter where I live, God will and does use me each and every day for His purposes. In my classroom here in America or at the orphanage in Peru, God uses me, and none of that is by mistake. He has me where He wants me in my job each day, and he provides opportunities for ministry in Peru during my summer vacations. In a way, I've got the best of both worlds. 

Ultimately, it does not matter where I live on Earth. As long as I'm open, God will use me where I am. I'm not going to earn a higher place in heaven because I lived in Peru. My citizenship is in heaven, and that is all that matters!!

Ephesians 3:17-21 ~ 17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. 18 For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

And what's a post about finding my American identity without a few pictures? Enjoy :)

Cassandra and I with the Capital Building in the background.

Front of the 'Casa Blance' - White House

Dwight D. Eisenhower building - prettiest building in D.C.

WW2 Memorial - Each star equals 100 lives lost :'( 

Lincoln Memorial

Arlington National Cemetery - Breathtaking