School Year in Review 2012-2013

My heart breaks a little at the end of each passing school year. The life of a teacher is a wide mix of emotions. The students become like my children as my care and concern for them deepens throughout the year, and then it's over; they move on leaving you "behind" to start over with a new group of students. 

This year though, something was different. In my time at New Paris Elementary, I have never had a group of students that reached so deep into my soul as this group did. There was just something about these kids that filled me with joy, reminded me of my passion for children and concern for their well-being, and brought me to tears when I felt as if I were failing them. Maybe it was the life change of preparing to move to Peru that enabled me to get close to these kids knowing they would be my last group at NPE (for now). Perhaps it was our spiritual talks that flowed more openly with my entire class attending Bible class every other week. Or it possibly could have been the kind hearts, the humor for sarcasm, and the eagerness to learn and explore new ideas that allowed me to really dive deep and reach out to these students.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a perfect year of roses and sweet smelling honeysuckle. We had our ups and downs. I had my moments, days, and weeks of utter frustration (late homework, endless hours spent helping students with math during recess, behavior problems, etc.), but on a typical day those moments of frustration were turned around by a smiling girl standing at my desk with a dandelion she picked at recess or a laughing boy telling me a funny story about something he observed. (And let me tell you, this group noticed things no other group before them noticed, and they pointed out every connection they could in reading, math, science, or just plain every day life.)

As we began to wrap things up this week, I had the kids spend time writing yesterday about third grade. I left it open ended and told them to write about whatever they chose...learning, field trips, friends, etc. Most of them wrote about our trip to the Chocolate Factory and others wrote about our awesome new music teacher. However, what touched me most were the kind words they had to say about me, nearly bringing me to tears. Classes in the past have said similar things, but something about the way these kids so eloquently shared their writing almost brought me to tears.

You are the best teacher ever!

I am praying for you in Peru!

I wish you didn't have to leave me. I want you to be my teacher forever!

The kids in Peru are going to be so lucky when you get there!

I always wanted you to be my 3rd grade teacher.

I love you, Miss O'Connor, and I don't want you to leave!

I will miss you a lot, Miss O'Connor!

This morning as the children filed in for their last day of 3rd grade some came to my desk with gifts and/or cards thanking me for our year spent together. Others gave me candy they had received from our custodian wanting so badly to give me something, yet having nothing else to give. Then one little boy scribbling a quick note on a sheet of paper, covered it up as I walked by.  Later tday, on my chair near my desk was a note that said, "Miss O'Connor, please go to 4th grade with me. I don't want to leave for summer vacation without you!" My heart melted knowing the family situation and home life this child would be facing. School is his distraction; it's an escape. Another little girl hugged me at the end of the day and wouldn't let go; another child quite possibly fearful of the summer she faces away from school.

As the kids left, I had them do the usual before break "Handshake, Hug, or High Five" as they crossed the threshold from our classroom into the world. Most of the students opted for a hug, and a few hugged me and wouldn't let go. As I choked back tears, I couldn't help but smile. It's a bittersweet feeling, but when all was said and done at 2:55 today, I knew that I had given my all to these children, and I hoped that in some way they saw and felt the hope and love of Jesus Christ this year. 

I held back tears and a smile of pure joy and delight spread across my face, yet now as I type this I'm starting to feel my eyes water and my throat tighten.  I could not have asked for a better group of kids to have as my last group at NPE. I'm thankful for the mark each one has left forever on my heart, and I'm proud to call them "mine". God knew just what I needed this year as I transitioned out of this phase of life and into the next, and these kids were just it. 

Parents, if you're reading this, please know that I feel honored that you entrusted your children to me this year, and I pray many blessings over you and your families. Thank you for making 3rd grade such a fun year! Thank you for the gifts, notes, and time you have given this year!

Just a few of the things I received today that so very much touched my heart. 

~A devotional book by a missionary about Jesus's Calling

~A journal to record my adventures in Peru

~A printed Peruvian flag with information about Peru the student had researched on his own because he wanted to know more about where I would be living

~And on top of those, I received flowers, a few notepads, gift cards, and some yummy treats and refreshing soda to enjoy this summer.

Visit to the Consulate

Two trips to Chicago in 4 days time - one for business and the other for play - makes for one exhausted girl. I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't blogged much since Spring Break, but with things beginning to happen for my move to Peru I felt it's time for an update. School's been crazy, and honestly, blogging is often something I do in my leisurely time - something that I've desperately been lacking in the midst of ISTEP testing, end of the year assessments, and the end of another academic year in general.

This year's ending is different though as not only do I have to "pack" up my classroom for cleaning, but I must pack up my classroom and move out so that someone else may move in. It's a weird feeling knowing that someone else will be teaching in what has been my classroom the last 3 years, saying good-bye to many wonderful colleagues who have taught me so much about teaching and life, and passing on students to fourth grade knowing that next year I won't see them in the hallway, and I won't be around to watch the grow as they progress through 6th grade. It's a bittersweet feeling, and I feel like my emotions are all over the place. I'm sad to say good-bye, but I'm overjoyed to take on this next step, my life's dream, in the upcoming months.

Anyways, onto the main reason for this post...The Peruvian Consulate in Chicago - what an adventure! Mom and I took the day off work on Thursday to head up to Chicago and begin the visa application process (not knowing what all it would entail, I wanted to be sure to get a jump start so that there is plenty of time should things go awry). I had called the consulate numerous times and left multiple voicemails asking for business hours, information on what paperwork was needed for my visa, and the process in which the visa would be returned (mail or pick-up). Every call went unanswered, and every voicemail was left unreturned. I tried emailing, too, but again no responses were given.

On Thursday, Mom and I decided to take our chances, take a day off work, and head up to Chicago to see what this whole visa process was about. I had done my research online as best I could with no help from the Peruvian Consulate, and I took every government ID document I've every been issued with me just in case. We arrived at the consulate and the place was chaos. There were about 20 people in the room, some seated, some standing, most looking very confused. After standing near the window and being ignored while other person's names were being called out, I asked a man if there was a place to sign in. Apparently the man behind the counter was hoarding it behind the glass, so I asked for the notepad, and I signed my name. I was called up to the window a short time later.

At the window I was greeted by a woman who spoke little English and a man who spoke only Spanish. I decided to speak Spanish since English didn't go so well, and every Peruvian in the place stopped what they were doing to stare and listen in. I handed the man my visa application along with my passport, a letter from the school, my flight schedule, and 2 passport ID photos. They asked for my $30 payment, so I handed the man $40 (in the form of two $20 bills); however, he wanted exact change. {Peruvians don't like giving change if unnecessary, and I have no idea why.} He asked me to sign my name and place my fingerprint on the application, and then he told me to return on Wednesday to pick up my completed visa (which would be placed in my passport). WHAT?!

I explained that I live 3 hours away and that I work, so returning in 6 days was nearly impossible. I asked if there was any way the visa could be processed that day or returned to me via post. There was no way the visa could be processed that day, but a postal return was possible IF I could walk to the post office a mile away, get a cardboard self-addressed, stamped envelope, and return it to the Consulate. {Now why wasn't this piece of information online? Had they returned my phone calls or emails, this was one of the questions I had asked.} This being our only option, we thought it best to take the 2 mile total hike and return.

However, before leaving I asked for a recipe. No, I'm not kidding, I asked for a recipe. Ha! A few people chuckled behind me, and when the man behind the counter looked at me very confused I knew I hadn't used the correct term. I panicked and turned around looking for someone to help me out. At least 3 people shouted the correct word for receipt to me, and I then tried my question again. Ud. puede darme un recibo? {Will you please give me a receipt?} "No," he said, "not today. It will be sent with your passport." I told the man I would return shortly with the proper envelope and postage, and Mom and I left for a jaunt down Michigan Avenue. We returned with the envelope, the man took it, and I left.

Now my passport sits in the Chicago Peruvian Consulate with $30 and a proper envelope waiting to be returned to me. I have no documentation to prove I paid the fee. As a matter of fact, I have no evidence that I left any paperwork at the consulate at all. I was refused any sort of document saying they had my passport or that I paid. I'm a bit concerned that I won't receive my passport back or that it will come without a visa put in it, and I will have no way of proving anything.

I'm clinging to the fact that the Lord has miraculously worked out every other detail of this career move to this point, and I seriously doubt He's going to leave me hanging now. Sending up many prayers that my passport arrives in my mailbox within the next few weeks. If you think of it, please send up a few prayers for me, too!

*As I start to prepare more heavily for this transition, I would like to invite you to subscribe to my {hopefully} monthly updates. I do plan to blog and give updates using this blog and on Facebook; however, more personal prayer requests and updates will be emailed out once a month {at least that's my plan}. If you would like to join this email list, please comment with your email address. I would love to add you to my list of prayer warriors! 
*I will also be making prayer cards to send out. If you would like to receive one of these, please comment with your address. Once these are made and ordered, I will be sure to send one out to you.

**All comments are sent to my inbox and not published until I approve them. Any comments with email or address information will not be published to this blog.**

Thank you for all of your support as I follow the journey the Lord has placed before me!

~One last side note, for those of you who are wondering, I am continuing to pray for the nations. I am currently praying for France and working my way through the countries beginning with F & G. Perhaps I will update you on my Prayer for the Nations challenge in an upcoming entry. Now that school is finishing {this week}, I should have quite a bit of free time.~

ANGER vs BROKENNESS

I posted the following statement on my Twitter this afternoon following the news of the explosions at the Boston Marathon (follow me on Twitter: jessrenee86)...

Anger may be your first choice, but compassion and 

brokenness for lost souls is what the Lord asks of us.

It's hard to feel compassion and brokenness for individuals who desire to cause pain and destruction, but the Lord does not want us to be angry. He calls us to pray for the lost, to minister to the brokenhearted, and to love the unlovable. It's not easy, trust me, but it's a lesson the Lord seems to be laying on my heart a lot recently.

A story that hits closer to home:

Schools in my county and the neighboring ones were filled with excess security today after a threat had been made to kill 20 children in 5 schools on this particular day. I honestly don't think anyone truly believed the threat would actually be carried through, but taking precautions was necessary to ease the tension of staff and students alike.

As I prepared for work this morning, I was feeling particularly angry, unsettled, and pained. I couldn't believe someone would even think of killing innocent children. I was in disbelief that a person would go so far as creating the said threat just to get attention, yet being too cowardly to sign a name to the paper therefore earning no recognition...yet. I was feeling sorry for the poor individual who would even consider this careless act an act of valor.

As I walked out of my apartment to my car, I was blown away by the sunrise. It was like God was speaking  directly to me, "I got this Jessica; confide in Me and I will protect you." I got into my car and started off to school. Still frustrated but feeling slightly comforted.

As I drove passed an elementary school, I felt compelled to pray. I spent time in prayer for the students in all area schools, but the main focus of my prayer turned from safety to brokenness, and my eyes welled up with tears. My anger and frustration were replaced by compassion and a desire for action. I wanted to find these men (or women) and share Jesus with them. I wanted to tell them that their desire to kill won't bring them eternal peace, but rather it will haunt them forever. I wanted to find them, sit with them, and listen to them as they poured out their hearts, their pain, and their insecurities. I wanted to be a comfort for them and a shoulder to lean on. I was no longer angry, I was full out broken. Ironically, by the end of my prayer, I asked the Lord that if these people were to attack our school that my life would be spared and that an opportunity for me to speak with the intruders would be granted.

As you imagine, the destruction didn't occur in our school, and I haven't heard of anything abnormal occurring in other area schools either. It was honestly a relief, but when I arrived home and heard about the bombings at the Boston Marathon my heart broke all over again.

Here is my prayer this evening...

"Why, Lord? I just don't understand how someone could want to cause so much evil. However, I thank you, Jesus, that your blood shed saves those who confess your name and believe. I thank you, Lord, for the peace that I've found, and I am grateful for the confidence that no matter when my life is cut to an end, I will spend eternity in heaven with you. I ask that you be with those who are hosting hatred deep within their hearts. Provide a moment for divine encounter and reveal yourself in a powerful way. Lord, reach your hand down and touch your people. Bring revival to our land, and heal those who are so desperate for destruction. Give boldness to your people, and allow your love to penetrate from those who profess your name. Allow your glory to be revealed, and permit your perfect plan to prevail whatever that may be. ~ Amen"

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 Operation World Prayer for the Nations Update

Currently, I am praying through a 2 week prayer journey through China. China is a nation growing in Christian population despite years of persecution and forced secret house churches. People are coming to the Lord in masses, and His hand is at work within this great nation.

Other countries of focus since my last prayer update are:

Cameroon (Africa) - Cameroon has one of Africa's highest literacy rates at 67.9%, and it is also one of the world's most corrupt nations. Churches are facing "spiritual poverty" or spiritual apathy, lack of concern for the unreached, and little unity.

Canada (North America) - Canada holds that status of having the world's lowest public debt. It is also the nation in which the most immigration occurs. Christianity is in a long, sustained decline with the rise of pop culture and secularism.

Cape Verde Islands (Africa) - Widespread poverty affects this nation, 80% of the food must be imported. Most residents are Catholic by name, but many are influenced by superstitions and African fetishism.

Cayman Islands (Caribbean) - These islands are extremely vulnerable to money laundering.

Central African Republic (Africa) - The CAR faces constant rebellions and military coups. There is presence of the LRA in some parts. HIV (6%), malnourishment, lack of clean water, and faulty hygiene are concerns. Churches have lack of depth and commitment with low moral standards. Some churches in the north are often looted and burned as a form of persecution and rebellion.

Chad (Africa) - 80% of the population lives below the poverty line and corruption is prevalent - known as the world's most corrupt nation. Chad is home to more unreached peoples than any other African country. 

Chile (South America) - Crime, abuse, drugs, and materialism are all on the rise in Chile (1 in 7 women have a child by age 14). There is a massive gap between rich and poor, but focus on holistic ministry within the nation is growing. 

Gloomy, Growing Spring

*Disclaimer - I haven't forgotten about the Prayer for the Nations posts. I am still working my way through the world in prayer. Perhaps tomorrow I will post a small blurb about the most recent countries I've been praying for.*

I'm definitely a summer kind of girl! Give me blue skies, green grass, and a bright yellow sun and I'm happy. However, this season definitely isn't summer. The last few days as I've gone through the day, I can't help but look out my classroom window in disgust at the nasty weather occurring outside. Gray clouds, rain, cold... I don't like this weather! Don't get me wrong, I love a good summertime thunderstorm, the smell of rain, and the sunshine that comes out to dry everything up, but this springtime, cloudy, cold, wet junk just isn't for me. It puts me in a bad mood. (Although, I am so thankful that winter is gone! There is hope for warmer days!)

Then last evening as I gazed out my patio door at the grass turning green and the daffodils budding, I realized something - without the cloudy, rainy days there wouldn't be beautiful, warm, summer days. Without the rain the grass wouldn't be green and flowers would not come to life. And sadly enough, if it were always hot and sunny, I may not enjoy the summer days as much, although I have a hard time believing that.

That's when it hit me, God threw a life application my way that hit close to home. Through the gloomy weather something magnificent is taking place. Soon these "sad" days will be replaced by merry and bright days and in just a few weeks the gloom will turn to beauty. What's the application you may ask...

These gloomy days which will soon be turning to joyous occasions are much like our own lives. The times of sadness and struggle are the times when the Lord is often refining us in some way to change darkness into beauty. (Not that He isn't always at work, but I think you get the point.) He uses our trials and struggles to grow us in character, maturity, and love, and in the end we come out of the trying times a better person - a more beautiful person if you will. He is the potter and we are His clay. He is constantly at work molding us and shaping us through everything that comes our way. He turns the bondage of sin and ugliness into redemption and beauty.

On a more personal note, this hit close to home. I've been in a valley of spiritual growth recently, and I honestly don't feel as close to God or excited about spiritual things as I did just a few months ago. My life feels dry despite my daily Bible reading and prayer times throughout the day. As I was pondering the thoughts about last evening, I was challenged to let go of some sin in my life that I continue to hold onto. I was pushed to let go of sin that is keeping me in bondage and affecting my relationship with the Lord. Of course it will take time, but I'm ready to become a better me, a more beautiful version of myself.

What sin are you holding onto that God wants to change from gloom into beauty? Pray, confess your sin to Him, and allow Him to mold you into the person He has chosen you to be.

Where Will You Spend Eternity?

Can you say with certainty that you will spend eternity in heaven with the Lord? Maybe you aren't sure, or perhaps you don't even believe in eternity. I met a woman on the streets of New York City last weekend who told my friend and me that eternity is where you want it to be. We asked her to explain, and she told us that if you prefer a quiet place then your eternity will be quiet, if you like a busy place then your eternity will be busy, and if you like loud places then your eternity will be in a loud place. It was an interesting thought, a disappointing conversation, and another reminder that there are lost and dying people all around me.

I'm here to tell you that ETERNITY IS REAL, and your eternity will be spent in one of two places: HEAVEN or HELL. It's really that simple.

You can choose to believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, that He died on a cross and rose again three days later to save the world from sin and destruction. As promised by God, He will return for His people at which time all who have confessed with their lips and believe in their hearts that Jesus is Lord will be raised into heaven to spend eternity with God.

OR

You can choose to reject God, to continue living in sin without remorse, and neglect the emptiness inside. You can choose to ignore the evidence that there is a God demonstrated to us by the rising sun, the changing of the seasons, and the unique ways in which things come to be or happen on a regular basis. You can make the choice to deny that God loves you and that He wants an intimate relationship with you. If you make these choices, your eternity will be spent in the eternally burning fire of Hell.

Last weekend as I walked the streets of NYC and Philadelphia, I was torn apart by the quiet reminders that this world is full of sin, ignorance, and broken people. From our conversation with the woman mentioned above, to the obvious signs of sin surrounding us, I began to realize the need even in my own country - a very deep need. Overseas missions are great, but there is ministry to be done here and now before it's too late. 

I am a broken person, and my life, too, is filled with sin. However, I have made the choice to put my faith in the one and only risen Lord, and I trust Him that He has forgiven my failures. Because of this, I know my eternity is in heaven. 

What choice will you make? Where will your eternity be?

My God is a God of SECOND CHANCES!! I love the lyrics to this song by Rend Collective Experiment. Take a listen if you will. I've posted the lyrics below.

Second Chance

My future hangs on this

You make preciousness from dust

Please don't stop creating me

Your blood offers the chance

To rewind to innocence

Reborn, perfect as a child

CHORUS:

Oh Your cross, it changes everything

There my world begins again with You

Oh Your cross, it's where my hope restarts

A second chance is Heaven's heart

When sin and ugliness

Collide with redemption's kiss

Beauty awakens by romance

Always inside this mess

I have found forgiveness

Mercy as infinite as You

(Chorus)

BRIDGE:

Countless second chances

We've been given at the cross

Countless second chances

We've been given at the cross

Fragments of brokenness

Salvaged by the art of grace

You craft life from our mistakes

Black skies of my regrets

Outshone by this kindness

New life dawns over my soul

(Chorus)

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

*Shout out to those of you reading from Russia. I've seen your country pop up many times on my reader's list. Leave a comment if you will. Love and Blessings!*