A Message from Dove Chocolate

I must admit, God is pretty darn good to me, even on my worst days. This past week (all 7 days of it) has been absolutely incredible minus a few bumps along the way.

It started off last Wednesday with a {primary staff} language arts inservice. I enjoy being together with the teachers and away from my classroom on occasion. We don't always get to talk during a typical work week, so it's nice to have those days. Wednesday evening, Cassandra and I shared some laughs together, and Thursday I headed down to Nashville for a mini vacation with two of my best friends. My time in Nashville was very refreshing. We shopped and ate, shopped some more, and ate some more. I headed home on Sunday, spent Monday with my mom (and dad), and dove right back into the "school" routine on Tuesday.

Yesterday, my morning was rough. I was short tempered and frustrated with my class in general, and {let me be honest} I had a pretty rotten attitude. At lunch, my mom {I love working with her!} gave me a Dove chocolate to cheer me up - somehow chocolate always helps. However, this time, it wasn't the chocolate that cheered me up; it was the message inside:

Remember your passion.

Wow! I stopped dead in my tracks. It seemed as if this message was given to me for a reason. What is my passion? Teaching/helping kids, sharing God's love, living life to it's fullest...
Although, with the bad attitude hanging over me, I wasn't doing any of that. My students were tense, God's love wasn't flowing from me, and I definitely wasn't living life fully. I said a prayer, and to my surprise, my afternoon went much better.

As I lay my head to rest last evening {an hour earlier than normal}, I thanked God for the small reminder he sent to me via a piece of Dove chocolate.

February Resolution

IS WHAT YOU'RE LIVING FOR WORTH DYING FOR?

I read this on a sign last week, and I've heard it in sermons before. I specifically recall a sermon from my church in Peru (Camino de Vida) about serving the immediate community. Every month (or maybe every other month), Camino de Vida hosts a day known as "Servolution". It's a day to go out on the streets and serve the people. This may be in the form of passing out water bottles on a hot day, playing soccer with kids in the street, or building a home to house those who have no place to go. I love looking at the pictures my friends post from these events, and I hope that one day I, too, will be able to participate.

After seeing the above question on a church sign last week, I really started thinking about what exactly I'm living for. Am I living to have fun or am I living to survive? Am I living oblivious to everything around me or am I living up to my full potential? Ultimately, am I living for Christ or am I living for the devil? What a thought!!

I like to think that I'm living up to my full potential in Christ, but, when I really start to dig and search my heart and motives, often I beat myself up. I don't believe God expects us to be perfect, but I do believe He expects us to give Him our all, our entire being, for the glory of His name. I believe if I'm not giving the Lord my all, then I am not living up to the potential I could have in Him.

What does that look like? That means giving God my time, giving the Lord my work, surrendering my desires to Him, and allowing Christ to mold me to better serve His purposes for my life. It means stepping out of my comfort zone and sometimes doing things that I wouldn't normally do. It means that daily I take up my cross, I lay down my life, and I ask God to take the lead.

Is it easy? Not at all! However, I'm seeing that the days I make a conscience effort to pray that Jesus walk with my through the day, things seem to go much more smoothly. My attitude is better, my opportunities are greater, and I sleep wonderfully at night. On the contrary, the days I hold onto life and guard it with all my might, I feel stressed, frustrated, and bored with life.

So, is what I'm living for (every moment of my day) worth dying for? I can't honestly say yes, but I think most of the time I do an okay job. I've noticed that since I've began this thinking, soul searching, and daily surrendering, I've had more opportunities to talk with my students about Christ or verses from the Bible that teach us how to live. Because of that opportunity to minister to my students, I find even more motivation to give each moment up to the Lord to be used for His purposes.

No longer will I wait until I return to Peru to give my all to serving and ministry. I will make a conscience effort to daily give the Lord every moment to be used for the glory of His name.

And there {finally} is my New Year's Resolution :)

We Are {the Light of the World}

We Are by Kari Jobe

So wake up sleeper, lift your head

We were meant for more than this

Fight the shadows conquer death

Make the most of the time we have left

We are the light of the world

We are the city on a hill

We are the light of the world

We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine

We are called to the spread the news

Tell the world the simple truth

Jesus came to save, there’s freedom in His Name

So let His love break through

I've been playing this song on repeat in my car recently, and today I was very excited when we sang it in church. God has been reminding me {a lot} recently, that no matter where I am, it is my responsibility is to spread his light. My mission is to be his hands and feet. He's been showing me that I can do ministry here in the U.S. through my job, at the grocery store, and even through conversations with friends. 

A few days ago, a friend asked me at what point I began to come out of my 'shell' and not be so shy. I had to think about it a bit, and I responded by telling her that during college I was forced to open up more due to roles I played in leadership and in various schools where I was placed for practicums. I couldn't pinpoint an exact time of change, but rather circumstances that changed me little by little.

I've been pondering this question over the last few days, and I've drawn a few conclusions of my own. You see, I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember. My parents took me to church most Sundays during my childhood, and I remember I was baptized at the ripe age of 9 on my father's birthday. Even though I was told that I had been saved from my sin and had Jesus 'living in my heart' (as if He hadn't forgiven me or been with me before this point), I never truly quit living for myself. I prayed and I read my Bible, but I still lived to do what I wanted to do, facing the struggles of most teenage girls in the areas of worldly pressures from friends and my desire to fit in. While I faithfully attended church and youth group, my personal relationship with Christ was typically forgotten about 6 out of 7 days a week. 

It wasn't until college when I had to go to church without my parents that my faith really began to take a turn for the better. After being in a few ministry roles and a mission trip, I began to really understand what it meant to have Christ living in me. I develop a yearning I had never felt before. I had a stronger desire to please Him, to spread the gospel, and to show his love to others. This desire was so strong, I sometimes stayed awake at night feeling as if I'd failed Him on that particular day. It was this realization of what truly living for Christ meant that I believe has transformed me from the shy, quiet girl I used to be into the confident, outgoing lady I have become.

No longer do I fear what others think of me if I mention Christ in conversation or get overly excited about a new Christian worship song I've fallen in love with. I don't worry {as much} about where my future will take me, because I have learned that as long as I'm serving the Lord, it doesn't matter where I am physically. I have discovered the joy of the Lord, and I have allowed him to fill me with peace. This joy and peace Christ has given me have changed me. It is only by the grace of God that I no longer live in fear of the world, for I know that with Christ by my side, nothing in this world matters.

The song above says it perfectly, "WE ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD!" If we don't get out there and spread the saving word of the Lord, who will do it for us. There are people in my life, that I may be the only person to ever show them Jesus. I would hate for them to die without ever having had the opportunity to experience Christ's saving grace. I will make the most of the time I have left, for no man knows when his final breath may be. 

Whether I remain here in the U.S. or return to Peru {or another nation} I will take the challenge and be a light in this world. 

Let me leave you with a verse fro Matthew 5:14-16 ~ 

14~ You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15~ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16~ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.

Dios Nunca Fallara {God Will Never Fail}

It's been quite the...weekend, week, month. Life has been moving at a fast pace, and last night as I drove home from my dear friend's wedding, it seemed it all started catching up with me. I didn't even realize my mind was lost in deep thought (or rather worship as I sang to the praise music shuffled through on my phone). As I drove and belted out the lyrics to some of my favorite songs, tears flooded my eyes. Before I knew it, I was nearly bawling, and I wasn't even sure why. The wedding was beautiful and tons of fun...that couldn't possibly be the cause for my tears. Or was it??

As I listened to "Always" by Kristian Stanfill followed by Nunca Fallara by Hillsong United-Spanish, I realized that God was speaking directly to me, and it was not coincidence that these two songs played back to back. I reflected upon the wedding, and the union of my dear friend Anna to her husband Joel, and I must say I was overcome with joy. God could not have picked a better person for Anna, and her testimony is amazing and overwhelming. God has brought her soooo far in the last 6 months, and I am so thankful that through out Tuesday night dinner dates, I have been able to be with her through these major life changes. Proverbs 22:6 - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. {Anna and Joel are great reminders of God's faithfulness to parental upbringing and steadfast, persistent prayers.} Joel has been a great encourager and partner for her through trials and joys, and I'm so excited she has someone so great to spend the rest of her life with. I cried tears of joy for Anna and Joel. 



However, these tears of joy weren't all that was flowing from my eyes. I realized, I was pondering my life and where I'm at spiritually, mentally, and physically. I began to wonder, what is God's plan for my life? When is He going to reveal my 'love story' to me? When will I find love like Anna and Joel have found? That's when I began to really ponder the lyrics I was singing along to. 

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always.

-----


Dios nunca fallará
Por siempre y siempre
{God will never fail forever and ever}

It was like God was speaking directly to me, and only me, as I drove down the dark, empty road home. He clearly spoke, "I am with you always, today, tomorrow, and forever. I have a plan for your life, and I will not let you down. Trust in me, and I will continue to lead you one step at a time, day by day." Those audible words broke me...heart, body, and soul. I believe God has bigger plans for me, but I often worry I'm missing something. I often worry I'm stagnant here, not following God's greater call for me. But it seems that whenever I get in this rut, God is right there to tell me, "You are right where I want you, for such a time as this." I trust that God is using this time to develop me into the woman he desires and needs me to be. It's a great feeling to be affirmed by the Holy Spirit that you are in the will of God, and he is using you right where you are. I mean, if I weren't here in Indiana, I may not have had the honor of being a part of Anna and Joel's special day.

Thank you, Lord. I l<3ve you!!

*Endnote*

As I lay my head to rest last evening, I received news that my dear friend, Liz, had gotten engaged, and another very special friend sent me a message to say she'd received her very first kiss from the man she plans to marry. I'm happy for them, I really am, but it was too much for one day! <3

Peace?

School started again, and the crazy life has resumed. However, even among the busyness, my mind never stops. I question my life, and I often wonder if I'm doing all I can to share the love of the Lord. I wonder about God's plan for me, I wonder about God's plan for the world. I think about people and social classes. I ponder the Word of God, and I spend time praying for my friends, family, and uncertainties. Not a day goes by that I don't have flashbacks to Peru, and each day my heart tears a bit more with a desire to return and not leave.

Since moving out of my parents' home three weeks ago, my opportunities to be alone and think have quadrupled. I am alone most evenings, and even with the distractions of internet and tv, my mind still races. Often I lie awake unable to stop the concerns of my heart and mind, these are my favorite times to pray. I pray about the things on my mind, often in English but almost always I find myself switching to praying in Spanish. I love praying in Spanish; my prayers seem more lively, more hopeful, and more passionate. English just gets so boring sometimes.

Recently, I've felt much peace that this whole Peru thing is very near to working itself out. I'm not sure what form it will work out, but I just have peace that God is bringing it altogether for my return...a long term return. I'm not saying that it will happen this month or this year even, but I am hopeful that an irresistible opportunity is soon to present itself.

As my departure date for my summer trip approaches, I find myself missing things about Peru that for the last 6 months haven't even crossed my mind...the buses/taxis, sunny-ish days and cool nights, smells, the food...honestly, everything. I leave the last week of June, approximately 155 days from now. I am so excited to go back home, but this heavy heart I'm carrying will only grow heavier as my trip approaches.

Plans for this summer in Peru include a trip to Iquitos in the jungle and Arequipa/Nasca/Ica along the coast and in the highlands. The first is sure to be an experience it being my first time in the jungle. Have I mentioned, I don't like bugs and snakes, and I love showering??  The second trip will be more of a historical/fun trip to see Peru's past culture and traditions as well as to go sandboarding (I need to learn how to do that first). I hope to rent dune-buggies in Ica, too :)

Summer can't come fast enough, but I'm doing my best to enjoy the time I have here while I have it!