Stars in the Sky

On my walk from the bus stop after work Thursday, staring up at the dirt mountains around me with the sun shining brightly upon them, I was reminded of how small I am and how great our God is. 

It's been quite an adventure these last few weeks, and my type A personality has been feeling quite overwhelmed and slightly out of control at times. I've been here before, I know how things work, yet, there's always that adjustment phase that one must endure when change occurs. On my walk home this evening, as I was gazing up at the mountains around me, I couldn't help but surrender my will to the Lord. In those moments I realized how much I've been trying to control things, cultural things I'm realizing I need to let go of. At times I've found myself complaining a lot, wishing things were as they were in the States - more hot water pressure in the shower, internet that works in more than just my bedroom, less traffic, missing foods prepared with ingredients at home, more easily accessible materials at school, etc. 

I also find myself struggling relationally more each year. People move on and change, friends come and go, and I never know from year to year who will still be around, who has moved on, or who I've lost commonality with. It's sometimes hard as a relationally focused person to understand why people come and go, but I'm thankful for the few good friends I've kept throughout the years, and I'm blessed by three in particular who have been above and beyond helpful. 

School is going well. I've begun teaching a few classes on my own and co-teaching a few others. Materials aren't widely available here, and my bulletin board space is limited. Charts and workshop style teaching are unheard of, and the mix of PYP with the Peruvian educational requirements makes things much different than what I'm used to in the classroom. I do think I'll have some freedoms in teaching things as I choose to, but it will be a matter or thinking differently in order to follow the program themes and ideas for each term's requirements. 

I've not gotten involved much with the ministry aspect of things yet. I've been to the children's home once, and I met friends from the family care center for dinner earlier this week. I'm still trying to figure out my schedule and routine before I add more to it. I hope to get more involved somehow, whether through translating for ministries or getting involved more at an orphanage or something of the sort. 

Don't get me wrong; I am so glad to be here! I'm enjoying things as they come and taking one day at a time. Of course I miss home, having hot water in all sinks and faucets, and driving myself around rather than depending on buses, but I wouldn't change where I'm at during this phase of life for anything. I'm thankful for the mountains today that were set as my reminder that God is in control, that He knows His plans for me beyond what I can fathom at this point, and He holds me closely in His arms during those moments when I feel alone in this world. 

I heard a song tonight while relaxing and listening to Spotify. Kari Jobe says it so beautifully in her song "Stars in the Sky". She sings: 

The faith in my heart will sing

Of what Your love can do

And even when life weighs heavy on me

I know You're in control

And You're all I need.

 If you'd like to listen to the whole song, I'll leave you with this link for the youtube lyric video. 

Other Random Happenings:

• My first week here I was on a bus that got pulled over by the police for running a red light. After some arguing and what appeared to be a bribe we continued on our journey. Flashbacks of the police entering the bus and demanding to see everyone's ID a few years ago came to mind. This time I was prepared though with my ID unlike a few years back. 
• Last weekend I entered a bus and just a few miles down the road the tire went flat. Thankfully as we exited the bus the cobrador (money taker) gave us our money back, and my friends and I got on another bus to continue our journey. 
• The kids at school don't understand why my hair is different colors since I say I don't "paint" it. Hard for them to believe the sun naturally dyes me hair.
• I'm learning to boil water in a pan to wash dishes, buy groceries just a few things at a time, and cook with ingredients different than what I'd find at home.
• School lunches are so much better than in the States and all of the teachers actually eat it. {Sorry NPE!}
• I miss the Christian atmosphere at Fairfield. It really was something special, but I don't think I realized how special it was until this last week. I am, however, thankful for the few Christian teachers I have met.
• It's about a 5 block walk from my apartment to the bus/taxi pick-up and at least that far from school to the bus stop. I'm getting lots of walking in these last few weeks.
• And last but not least -When given the choice to hang out with Peruvians or Gringos I will choose Peruvians most of the time. {Sorry Gringos!}

The Apartment Search is Over!

After a semi-frustrating week last week, and a bad start to the weekend, I can finally say I'm feeling more at peace knowing that I now have a place to live. My prayer last week was this, "Dear Lord, Please reveal to me the correct place to live. Open doors in ways unimaginable, and guide to a safe, quiet, cheap location where I can feel at home. And when I find the correct place, help me to know immediately without a doubt that it would be the best place for me."

Last week I was shown three apartments by a realtor. Two were out of my price range and small, and the third one was a decent size but unclean, and I'm not sure how much it would have cost either. A friend took me to see another place, but it too was small and unfurnished...no appliances or anything.

Friday night, I spent the evening scouring websites looking for places that was furnished, within my price range, and outside of the tourist district I'm currently living in. I found a few places online, and had a friend call a few that didn't list prices. On Saturday I had hoped to be able to go see a few, but rather than being responsible, I chose to go to the Children's Home with Javier and visit my kids. Little did I know, but spending time with those kids was just what I needed in the midst of all of the change and uncertainty surrounding me. While the kids grow and change from year to year, my love for them never does. I enjoyed watching the boys play Foosball and joined in the fun a bit. Then we sat and talked with one of the new house parents while the kids colored pictures for a project they are doing. I also helped one of the girls with her English homework shortly before we left.

Sunday, I got up feeling refreshed. I headed to church in Manchay (where some friends from last year's medical trip attend) unsure of what the day would hold. My friend Celia came running up to me and hugged me. She asked me all about being back in Peru, where I was living, etc. After explaining to her I didn't have a place to call home, she immediately had ideas of places to look and asked if I'd want to go with her after lunch. The places she knew of ended up being unfurnished or unavailable. A little discouraged we began asking the watchiemen on the street corners if they knew of anything in the area. One man suggested we buy the Sunday paper because most places advertise in the Sunday classifieds.

With the help of Celia we called a some places and went to visit a few that seemed reasonable. After viewing the first option we were quite disappointed and unsure if it was worth seeing others. However, one listing in the paper of an "impeccable apartment" caught our attention. We called the owner who was more than willing to show us around. As soon as we arrived, I knew it was the place. Fully furnished, withing 5 blocks of where I lived 4 years ago, and in a quieter, gated, residential community. The best part, the rent includes all of my utilities, cable and internet, and it falls right in my budget! It's still a bit further from work than I would like to be, but it's closer to Manchay and my friends there.

It's a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom apartment with a living room and kitchen on the second floor of the building. It's a family home, but a separate unit with its own locks and keys. The owners live on the first floor, and they seem to be very friendly. The wife has already told me that if I am sick or anything let her know, and she will be more than happy to help me with whatever I need. I have a washer, brand new refrigerator, two flat screen tvs, and a proper stove/oven.

After returning Monday to see it with the Headmaster of my school (he wanted to be sure it was safe), I decided to sign the lease on Tuesday, and I will be moving in tomorrow afternoon. I have a friend coming to help me unpack and then we'll go shopping for sheets and towels and such that I don't already have. I'll post pictures at a later time! :)

All I have left to say is, God is faithful! I can't imagine how different this experience would be without knowing that He is with me every step of the way!

Thanks for your prayers concerning this matter! It's such a relief to know I have a place to call home!

Adjusting to My New Normal

Every year I come back to this place. Every year I seem to stay in a slightly more "upscale" area, not intentionally though. Every year I complain about the awful traffic, and I'm amazed that it takes an hour to go a distance I could probably drive in Goshen in a mere 20 minutes. Every year I make new friends and realize old friends weren't that close after all. I always forget how thin the walls are, how cold 60 degrees actually is when it is inescapable, and that toilet paper cannot be flushed. I am reminded every year that showers only have one curtain, and no matter what you do the bathroom floor will end up soaked, and the slippers you left on the bathroom floor will take days to dry out. I'm also reminded each time I come how incredible this place is, and how special each person is.

This time it's different though. I'm not here just as a visitor adapting to the little annoyances for a short amount of time. I'm going to have to deal with traffic, I'll have to figure out if I can buy a shower curtain liner to help keep my floor dry, and I'm going to have to learn to dress in even more layers to deal with the bitter cold but to also be prepared in case the sun does come out. I'm going to have to learn how to pay bills and really live life here in Peru being responsible for more than just having fun.

I'm being spoiled currently, but I know reality will hit soon. I'm staying in a hotel where they clean my room every day including folding my pajamas that I left wrinkled in a haste on my bed. They brought me a space heater because they asked how my first night went and if I was cold, and I said yes. I'm living in a ritzy district only blocks from restaurants, shops, and the ocean, and I'm not paying a dime for any of it.

Yet, despite the luxury of these accommodations I'm uncomfortable. I don't like not having a kitchen, and I've eaten out every meal. I haven't unpacked because I hope to find an apartment in the next few days. I can't have friends over to visit because this place is not my own. I feel like a spoiled rich kid when the maid comes in and organizes my bathroom counter and folds my laundry because I was too hurried to do it myself. Yet, I'm beyond grateful for the accommodations and ease of transitioning these last few days. The school has been wonderful in providing such a living situation, and I could not be more blessed.

I did see two apartments today, and I hope to see more this afternoon. The ones I saw today were both very nice, but one was quite small, and they were both above my desired price range. They were safe though, and luxury apartments only blocks from where I'm currently staying. It's nearly an hour bus ride to school, so I'd also have to consider then the cost of taxis. Aside from that, I want to be comfortable but not so comfortable that my Peruvian friends are uncomfortable coming to visit. Everything I dreamed of my apartment being in the States is everything I fear it being here. It's a weird feeling walking into an upscale, NYC style apartment here, wanting it so bad but wondering how friends would feel if they came to visit.

I'd like to live closer to school. I'd like to live in a residence area with fewer high rises and less tourist traffic. I'd like something cheaper because I have high hopes of using the extra money to pay down my college debt. I'd also like something more central so that I can open my home to friends on a regular basis.

I'm going out this afternoon and tomorrow to see what else is out there. I have confidence that God will reveal to me just the right place when I find it, and I'm praying that happens sooner than later because I'd really like to get settled in, buy groceries, figure out a real budget, and invite friends over for dinner. I feel as if everything in life is currently out of my control, and I'm learning to be patient in the changes.

~One Week / Una Semana~

Next week at this time I will {hopefully} be on the plane from Houston to Lima. It's crazy to think that this has been on the calendar for nearly 9 months now, yet until just recently it's seemed like more of a dream than reality. I've waited for this opportunity for 6+ years, and it's finally happening! I have no doubt that this is the divine timing of the Lord, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm grateful for the time I've had living in my hometown near my parents for the last few years, growing as a professional, learning independence, and building friendships that have changed my life. I'm thankful for the church God lead me to in October of 2011, and I'm beyond blessed by the Bible study I've become a part of.

The good-byes have begun, yet the packing remains a task to be undertaken. I know not everything I have laid out to take will fit, so I'm delaying the stressful decision making process as long as possible; 140 pounds seems like a lot of weight, but as I throw things in my suitcase, I realize those pounds add up quite quickly.

So how am I spending my last week you may ask? Well, last weekend I ran my first 5k Color Run which was a blast. I spent last week relaxing and preparing for the week ahead. This past weekend I went camping with my Bible study which was an amazingly fun time of canoeing, hiking, and soaking up the goodness of God in nature. Grandma came today, and Mom made a mock Thanksgiving dinner complete with pumpkin pie since I won't be here in November for the real thing. A dear college friend is coming to visit Wednesday, I'm hanging out with college friends Thursday, and Friday I've got a coffee date with a few teacher friends and a dinner date with my family at a Japanese SOHO. Sunday I'm sharing at church, dining with church family afterwards, and participating in my final praise and prayer night. Somewhere I'll be squeezing in time to pack and clean my car out, too.

I'm so incredibly excited for the days ahead. I'm dreading the good-byes, and I'm a bit nervous for the transition. However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has gone before me, and He has already paved the way. He knows the struggles I will face, and He knows the inner anxiety I will feel. He will be there for me even when no one else seems to understand, and He will be my hope and faith that I will cling to through the joys and trials of this change.

Again, thank you to each of you for being a faithful prayer warrior throughout the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. I am beyond blessed by each and everyone of you. Thank you in advance for going with me on this journey through your prayers and words of encouragement. Feel free at any time to comment with questions or email me if you'd like further details about anything I post along the way. We're in this together, and I appreciate your support!

~*May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and keep you near always and forever!*~
With much love,
Jessica

Dear Complacent Christian,

Disclamier: Let me begin by saying this post is a reminder for myself as well.

You go to church on Sunday {when you feel like it}, but you seldom touch your Bible otherwise. Maybe you even have multiple Bibles lying around your home collecting dust. {I know I have a few!}

Considering today is Independence Day here in the USA, I can't help but be grateful for the freedom I have to worship the Lord, when I want, how I want, and where I want. I don't have to worry about being taken to jail for listening to Christian music with my car windows down. I don't have to fear that I will be killed if someone catches me walking into my church on Sunday morning or Tuesday evening.  I can take my Bible outside on my patio and read with a cup of coffee while enjoying the morning sunrise and songs of the birds, and my neighbors aren't persecuting me for it.

Do you know how many people around the world would give their right arm for the opportunity to attend church without fearing for their life? Do you know how many Christians around the world attend church in secret for many hours a week knowing that if they are caught they may face imprisonment or death? Do you know how many people around the world are begging to hold the Word of God in their hands maybe even for the first time? Check out this map entitled World Watch List Countries {Click on the link, I dare you.You may be shocked by the widespread "suffering" of our brothers and sisters.}

Our Christian brothers and sisters around the world, particularly in the 10/40 window, are those people! Many of them have little, living on less than $2 a day. Many of them are separated from their families, suffering from disease and/or malnutrition, and are mocked and taunted for their faith, yet they still praise Jesus. Many of these Christian brothers and sisters sneak to "church" on Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Saturday {whatever day they may decide on}. They congregate in homes, they congregate in small, unmarked buildings, they congregate in secret not IN a church but AS a church. They passionately pray about everything, have deep desire to follow the Lord, and long to see their lost ones saved. Their Bibles {if they have them} are their most prized possessions.

*Another Disclaimer: I do believe that these secret congregations probably include those of mediocre faith, but overall I do believe the vast majority are deeply committed believers.*

If you are living in a nation or state where you are free to attend church when you want without fear of severe persecution or even death, consider yourself blessed. However, I also believe that the easy manner in which many of my friends and family attend church has made us numb to the true demands of the Bible - to give up everything and follow Christ. {How much do we truly sacrifice to follow Christ here in the grand 'ol USA?} We've become content simply attending church, checking it off our list first thing Sunday morning and putting God on the back burner until the following week. Some of us may pick up our Bibles as time permits, and we bow our heads before meals. Yet, how deep is our true faith? Do we trust God with every aspect of our beings or only with the things we can't do on our own? What are we doing to see the lost save? Do we risk our lives for the sake of the cross?

Read 2 Timothy 3:12-17 {below or click the link}.

12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

When I think about my persecuted brothers and sisters my natural instinct is to feel sorry for them. However, more and more, I'm realizing that feeling sorry for them probably isn't the best response. I'm jealous of them. I'm jealous of their deep passion and commitment. {You'd have to be deeply committed to attend church in their situations.} I'm envious of the unity and willingness of the congregations to help one another out and to pray for one another. They are blessed because of their suffering and endurance, and I long for the deep faith they have due to their persecutions and full dependence of God to carry out His will for His glory.

Romans 5:3-5 says, "We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Now, I don't think this suffering here explicitly means persecution, but it definitely hints at it. Our persecuted brothers and sisters have hope. They have hope and faith that God will protect them against the wills of Satan. They have hope of what's yet to come. They long deeply for that day when Christ returns and His people are brought into His eternal presence. They live for that, and they persevere because they trust with their whole being that in the end it will be worth it.

Ask yourself, "How deep is my faith, really?" If day in and day out you were mocked for you faith would you keep believing in God? If you had to attend church in secret knowing you could be imprisoned or lose your life if you were to be caught would you keep going? How important is your Bible to you? If your house caught on fire would you grab it with your other "special" belongings or would you leave it behind to burn? Are you willing to share the gospel with the lost at the risk of being made fun of or cursed at? Are you willing to live out the gospel, say no to sin, and be the odd man out even when your friends are pressuring you otherwise? 

I think it's time for those of us who aren't persecuted for our faith to reexamine our commitments to the Lord. Are you seeking Him with your entire being, or are you content checking church off your list on Sunday mornings, leaving your Bible to collect dust through the week, and fitting in with the crowd rather than speaking and living truth? Are you daily in the Word and on your knees in prayer or do you only participate when you have extra time? We need to be daily on our knees, in communion with our Creator developing a deeply committed relationship with Him.

Let me leave you with this from Matthew 24:36-41: But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38 For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39 and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40 Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

How well do you truly know Him? How passionate are you really? Are you ready for His return?


*If you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior or have questions about faith, please do not hesitate to ask me. I would be happy to discuss what I know with you or lead you to others who can help. All comments are moderated, and I will not post anything that I feel should be kept private.*