My life is filled with blessings.
My mind is set at ease.
Yet, I find my heart heavy.
And I'm falling to my knees.
Jesus, I need more of you!
I cannot do this on my own.
Each day I'm reminded of Peru,
It is my other home.
I have nothing to complain about. My life is wonderful, and I am blessed beyond what I deserve. Yet, tonight I find myself with a broken heart wishing I could be there (Peru) serving the people who became like family. An 8-year old girl was killed outside one of the main ministries I helped with in Peru, my church there has been robbed twice in the last month, and another friend emailed me seeking prayer as he's become involved in drugs (again). This news breaks my heart. I feel so helpless here wishing there was more I could do there.
There are good things happening in Peru, too. A dear friend of mine recently went on his first official mission trip to an area in southern Peru. Reading about his experiences reminds me of my own past feelings and accomplishments from missions experiences. I have been a part of ministry from afar as I witness my friends reaching out to others and expanding the kingdom of Christ through the group Hearts United. I have seen my friends' faith expand and their knowledge of Christ deepen as they are forced daily to stand for Christ and say no to temptations.
I'm enjoying my life here. God has provided for me in ways I never imagined possible. I know that for this time, I am right where God wants me to be. Yet, not a day goes by that I don't ask God to take me back to Peru. I know this day will come, however, I'm just not sure when.
Jess,
ReplyDeleteI remember being a young college student returning home to marry my husband after spending three years in Campus Crusade. I longed to go to the mission field, but my soon-to-be husband didn't have the same calling or passion. I wrestled with being content where God had placed me, in small town Shipshewana where everyone knew of God and went to church (so it seems). Over the years, He has called me to serve in various ways,yet having a longing heart to be in a place to share the gospel with those who are lost. It's still my passion, teaching His work and truth to those who are hurting.
Now my daughter, like you, has a hunger and passion to be on the front lines giving out His word and love in other places. Where I may not go, so perhaps He has a plan that was bigger than I had in mind. No doubt as you pour your lives into the children at NPE, He is using your passion for Him to touch the lives of those who need His love and security. As He grows contentment in you for where you are, He would not have put a passion and a longing in your heart for no reason. He is faithful. He will place you in greater places than you can imagine.
Can't wait to see what He'll do this summer. Miss you all at NPE.
Brenda, thank you so much for your words of encouragement! The nearer my trip to Peru draws, the more anxious I become about being here. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be for "such a time as this", but sometimes it's so hard to remember that. However, God's laid it out plainly in front of me and provided a permanent contract for me here while the job market is scarce in Peru currently.
ReplyDeleteWe all miss you at NPE! Hope things are going well on your new mission field!!