When Everything Begins to Fall Apart

Today, May 14th, marks one year since Javier and I landed in the U.S. to start this chapter of our lives.  When we were dating, we both knew Peru wasn't our permanent earthly home, but neither of us really knew how long it would be before we would move elsewhere.  I was advancing my career at the school where I worked, and Javier had a steady job which paid well by Peruvian standards, so we lived quite comfortably and were in no hurry to leave. 

Aside from our careers, we volunteered frequently at a local children's home, and we were highly involved in a church plant.  Also, we were the sole caregivers of Javier's grandmother.  To say the least, life was going really well.  We were happy, and we truly felt we were right where God wanted us to be. 

Then...in 2018 everything began to change.  Which looking back, I truly believe was God's way of putting things in order for us to leave Peru; He was kicking us out in a way.

In early 2018, things at the children's home began to change.  Situations weren't handled in the best way, and we, along with others, felt very disrespected.  We were also disappointed and frustrated as we felt our voices and concerns went unheard.  It basically came down to withdrawing our monetary support and visiting less and less.  This pained my heart as the home was what brought me to Peru in 2007 and every year thereafter until I moved to Peru in 2013.  The home was also Javier's childhood home, and still holds a very special place in his heart.  In addition, Javier and I met at the home in 2009, so we grieved the loss of this precious place where we no longer felt welcomed.  We still miss the children who were like family to us, and we hope to reconnect with them eventually.

In June 2018, Javier's grandma began to become immobile, and it was more and more difficult to attend to her needs.  Out of nowhere, a cousin of Javier's offered to take grandma into their home to care for her.  At first, we were unsure of this because we didn't want to take advantage of the family's kindness; however, it was difficult for us to attend to her needs since we were both working full time.  Eventually, Javier accepted, and we moved grandma in with his cousin that July.  It's been a great situation every since!

Also that year, our pastor who led the church plant announced that he and his wife would be returning to the U.S. This couple had known Javier since his late teens and understood his childhood situation which made them easy to talk to through various situations.  They also did our marital counseling; they were an American/Peruvian couple and had become like family.  It was hard to see them go, and while I trusted the new pastor to lead and guide us, our pastor and friend leaving, was another piece of the puzzle.

In September of 2018, things at Javier's work began to become more and more complicated for a variety of reasons.  He eventually took a paid resignation, which was the last piece of the puzzle to kick us in the butt and get us to start the paperwork to leave Peru.

Thankfully, our pastor was/is an immigration lawyer, so before he left Peru, he was able to help us get started on the legal process of moving to the U.S.  We began the paperwork in September, turned in the first round of documents in November 2018.  We were approved for an interview in January 2019.   By the end of March, we announced that we were leaving.

During the time I was in Peru, my family all moved to North Carolina, so we decided that was where we would go, too.  We weren't sure what life would look like in this new place, a place we had only ever visited once.  I began to apply for jobs, but without knowing the school systems here, I only prayed God would provide the perfect school.  Javier was unable to look for work, so he began University studies to fill his time and learn skills that would hopefully help him find a job.

I eventually accepted a job after a Skype interview to find out only two days later that they no longer needed me...it was the most bizarre thing, but looking back it was only God who allowed that to happen because it really wasn't a school I wanted to be in.  One week after arriving, I accepted the job I have now, which has been a perfect fit for me to use my Spanish by teaching English in a Dual Immersion program.  God knew!

Javier had all of his formal resident documents by mid-June, so he too began to apply for jobs.  He had a few interviews and eventually accepted a job as a bus mechanic with one of the local school districts.  Ironically, we both started our jobs on the same day - August 12th.

I'm so thankful my parents allowed us to live with them and helped us out while we established ourselves here, found jobs, and eventually bought our house.  God knew we would need their support through culture shock and reinsertion, and without an income from May-August, it was great to be able to keep our savings rather than paying rent.  Of course, we did help out with some of the bills during this time.

Reflecting on the last year, I'm so thankful we left Peru when we did.  God knew it was time.  He made it clear to us that it was time.  And he has provided every step of the way.  Even on the bad days, it's hard to complain because God has been so good to us! 

COVID-19 Week 1

It's been a while since I've posted here, but rather than make a long post on Facebook, I thought I'd revisit the ol' blog.  God really placed this on my heart to share, so I felt I needed to be obedient.

I honestly believe this time of 'quarantine' serves a deeper purpose.  A.W. Tozer said, "While it looks like things are out of control, behind the scenes there is a God who hasn't surrendered His authority."  To put this into context, the Monday night, I woke up every hour all night long; I kept having terrible dreams of people I know dying, people fighting over out-of-stock items, or myself being on a ventilator unable to breathe.  It was horrible, but then I saw the quote above on Tuesday.  I've slept like a baby ever since. 

You see, this time is scary, it's unique, and it's worrisome.  We're living a situation most of us have never witnessed.  We're not supposed to go out of our homes unless absolutely necessary, schools are closed, restaurants only serve to-go meals, and malls are empty.  I've always joked that I'd love a job I could do from home, but I never imagined I'd actually be teaching for an extended period of time from the comfort of my own home. 

Yesterday, while I was working I felt the Lord tell me to pray.  I kind of brushed it off, since I was in the middle of emailing some parents, but I couldn't focus on what I was doing.  Then I felt it again, but this time I felt the urge to get down on my knees and pray.  I'm ashamed to admit that I've not gotten down on my knees to pray since I graduated college when I knew I was called abroad to serve, but I really didn't know how to get there...that's been over 10 years ago.  I was hesitant at first, but I did it.

I started not even knowing what to pray for.  I prayed for those who are sick, I prayed for those who will become sick.  I prayed for protection over my loved ones and friends, and I prayed for our leaders to know how to handle this unique situation.  I prayed for my students and their families, too.  Then the words just started flowing...I prayed for an opportunity.  An opportunity for what?  I'm not sure, but I knew God wanted me to pray to be an instrument of Light during this time.  By this point, I knew this was the reason I was on my knees in prayer.

Javier and I have spent the last two afternoons outside working on the lawn, pulling up the weeds and mulch from the flowerbeds, and freshening up our outdoor space.  This time outside has allowed us to connect with some of our neighbors because everyone who walks by wants to see our dog, Orejas.

Then today it happened.  The older gentleman across the street was outside mowing his lawn.  I could tell he was struggling as he was going slowly and stopping every few feet.  I looked at Javier, and I told him he needed to go help the man, so he hesitantly went over and offered to finish mowing for him.  While Javier mowed, the man called me over to see if he could pet Orejas, so I took the dog over for a bit.  We talked, and I learned this man 63-year-old man lives alone, his children are far away, and he suffered a heart attack 2 weeks ago.  He should not have been mowing his lawn, but he knew it needed done, so he thought if he went slow, he'd be fine. While Javier mowed, I shared a little of my testimony...living in Peru, being a missionary, teaching, how Javier and I met, how we ended up in NC, etc. 

Mind you, Javier and I were supposed to go to Florida this weekend to see his "parents" from Canada, but with COVID-19 running rampant, that trip got canceled.  Had we gone, we might not have had the opportunity we had today. 

I'm confident, God has a bigger plan for this time of "quarantine".  I firmly believe this is a time for neighbors to help one another, families to come together, churches to grow deeper in His word and more (all while keeping an appropriate physical distance).  It's time for the church to be the church and rise up to help one another. 

Our church in Peru is having daily prayer times, our church here is live streaming services, and I know other churches are reaching the community in their own ways, too.  It's time to stop talking about attending church on Sunday, but it's time to rise up and show the love of Christ to those around us every day.

God already knew COVID-19 would happen before it did.  He knew it would spread like wildfire among all nations and peoples, and He has a plan behind it, too.  Don't waste this precious opportunity to be the Light to someone else.  

I Once Was Lost

Have you ever lost something so precious and important to you that it caused agony and pain at the thought that you may never find it?

I'm not one to lose things often (which is probably a good thing since my husband can never find anything), but for the last few weeks I have been unable to find the necklace my husband got me for our first anniversary (pictured below). As I searched everywhere I could imagine, purses, jewelry boxes, drawers, etc. I panicked at the thought of not finding it again. I was worried to tell my husband I'd lost it because I still remember his excitement when he gave it to me. And I even searched online to see how much it would cost me to replace it so that he would never find out. To my disappointment, I couldn't even find one like it online.

After nearly 2 weeks of searching, I gave up. I was certain I had either accidentally thrown it out the day I went through empty boxes of jewelry a few weeks ago, or that it had been accidentally placed in the donations bag we sent away for the victims of the mudslides that happened in March. \

Then today, something wonderful happened. While digging through the basket that I keep my nail polish in to find a specific color I haven't used in a while, I found the necklace lying at the bottom. I have no idea how it got there, but I almost cried with relief. And then I told my husband the whole story since he didn't even know it was lost in the first place.

As I rejoiced over my once lost, but now found necklace, a scene played over in my head from earlier this week. You see, I had told a friend about my dilemma and how I wasn't sure if I should tell Javier or not, and her response was not to tell him because he'd probably never notice. She went on to say that I have other nice necklaces she's seen me wear, so to just wear those. 

This comment didn't really mean that much to me at the time. I do have many other necklaces to wear, and I hadn't worn this specific one in over a month, so it could be a while before Javier even noticed that I wasn't wearing it. Yet, at the same time, I was filled with guilt having lost something so important to me, something Javier picked out on his own for our first anniversary - a Canadian diamond set in a sterling silver Canadian leaf because he loves Canada.

Now, having found the necklace, I am filled with relief and joy. You can bet I put it around my neck as soon as I found it, and I don't plan to take it off until I lay down to sleep tonight. 

I can't help but relate this situation to two parables from the Bible - The Lost Sheep, The Lost Coin, and The Lost Son (Luke 15). Jesus uses all three parables to tell the story of the importance of one sheep, coin, or son repenting and the joy God feels at their repentance despite having many other followers already.

Luke 15:7 - I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not repent. 

Luke 15:32 - But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.

Even though followers of Christ can be found in many places around the globe, there is still work to be done, and God rejoices when even one person comes to believe and trust in Him. As excited as I was to find my necklace, I think God would feel even more joy hearing a new believer cry out his name.

We, Christians, have a lot of work to do. This world is rampant with pain, depression, sickness, hunger, poverty, war, and persecution. People need Jesus, and it our job to rise up and testify of His love and goodness. We are to go to the nations and share the Good News because He is coming back. Look around you, you don't need to go far to share the Gospel, no matter where you are, I'm certain someone nearby needs to hear about Jesus - your neighbor, a friend, a family member, the cashier at the grocery store, the elderly woman trying to cross the street, a classmate or even the garbage man. 

Just as I shared the good news of finding my necklace with my husband, we need to be just as excited (or more excited) to share Jesus with this dark and empty world. Rise up and shine His light!

Matthew 28:19 - Therefore, GO and MAKE disciples!

Peru - The Irony of the Water Crisis

PRAY FOR PERU!!

If you have been following my Facebook at all in recent days, you've probably noticed that Peru is in a serious crisis caused by heavy rains in the highlands which have created landslides throughout the nation. With rainfall reaching nearly ten times the normal amount, landslides are wreaking havoc throughout the highlands and the desert, coastal region.

Crops have been washed away, produce has been lost, more than 60 people have died, and thousands have been evacuated from their homes. Friends of ours are facing the clean-up of such destruction as their house was filled with nearly 3 feet of water, which has since begun to dry leaving clay-like mud on everything it touched.

Ironically, despite the excess rain that has fallen, there is a water shortage in the nation's capital of Lima. Because water is coming down from the mountains with high levels of dirt, branches, and garbage, the water plant is unable to keep up with the purification process. This has led to water being cut in homes throughout the capital for the past 4 days.

Free water distribution sites were set up around the city to give water for cleaning and flushing toilets. People lined the streets for hours waiting their turn to fill barrels and buckets with water. Drinking water is sold out nearly everywhere, and even the places that do have drinking water for sale have begun to charge double or triple the price and limit the quantity one can buy.

There are food shortages as produce has become limited and prices have sky rocketed. Some supermarkets have increased prices of produce more than five times their normal cost. The shelves are nearly empty of non-perishable items.

Preschool, elementary, high school, and university classes were cancelled throughout the nation Thursday and Friday, and they have also been suspended Monday and Tuesday. Some provinces have cancelled classes until April 3rd due to the prediction of more rain in the upcoming weeks.

My heart is broken, but God is teaching me a lesson in gratitude. Thankfully, in our home we have had water for a few hours each day. The pressure hasn't been great, but it's enough time to fill up buckets, wash the dishes, and bathe before it gets turned off again. I've taken a shower (if you can call it that) with a bucket for 3 days now as the water pressure isn't even strong enough to push the water through the shower.

However, yesterday as I was feeling frustrated with the water situation, I was nearly brought to tears by my brother-in-law who had to be evacuated from his home with only the clothes on his back due to the river that flooded the property of the mission where they live. His almost 2 year old son, oblivious to the situation, running around and playing with a smile on his face, and his wife remaining strong even when all she wanted to do was cry.

I was reminded to be thankful - thankful that my house has been unaffected except the lack of running water, thankful that even though the water has been inconsistent, it comes and goes just long enough to save some, thankful that my life has been relatively unaffected by the landslides, thankful that the days off of school gave me time to work on my Master's courses and get ahead on my lesson plans, and thankful that despite my husband's job being at high risk due to the rising sea levels, he has also been safe and unharmed.

It breaks my heart that those most affected are some off the poorest of the nation.  Many farmers have lost their crops, and some have lost animals in the landslides. Those closest to the rising rivers have lost their homes and nearly everything in them. House insurance is nearly non-existent in Peru, and aid isn't always available. My heart breaks for those affected.

I'll leave you with some pictures from the last week. (Most of these I have taken from Facebook and news websites. I hope I don't get in trouble for that!)

 Helicopters taking people from affected areas.

Woman carried away by the landslide escapes by grabbing debris and crawling to shore. 

A cow carried away by the landslides. They think it belongs to the woman above.

BCM (Bible Centered Missions) property after the river overflowed at 2 a.m. Thursday morning. Forty people had to be evacuated.  

The home of my brother-in-law and his family who serve as missionaries at BCM.

 People lined up with barrels and buckets to receive water.

People buying water at the supermarket on Thursday before it sold out and prices tripled.

A Heart Divided

It's been over a year since my last post.

Last year I didn't send newsletters like I had previously done either.

This year will be different...

One of my goals is to post on this blog once a month and another is to send out a newsletter quarterly. 

But that's not the reason for this post, so let's get to the point.

Recently, I've been asked by a variety of individuals both in the U.S. and here in Peru which place feels more like home. Honestly, I hate that question, and I still haven't been able to give a straight answer. Although, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give a straight answer.

Merriam-Webster defines home as

• one's place of residence
• the social unit formed by family living together
• a familiar or usual setting
• a place of origin

Taking those meanings into consideration, the first leads me to believe that Peru is home, but the last would imply that Indiana is home. The second and third definitions could be applied to either location.

So what is home? In my opinion a home is what you make it to be. My home in Peru and the life I lead here is much different than my home in Indiana and the life I once lead there or the life I currently lead there during my yearly visits.

As I explained to a friend yesterday, Peru is like my grown-up home. It's where I work, have responsibilities, pay bills, take care of and do life with my husband, etc. But Indiana is my childhood home, my security blanket, my inner peace. When I visit Indiana I get to live in the "past" in some ways. Mom and dad let me stay in their house and take care of me while I'm there, I get to see friends I've known for ages, and overall things really haven't changed much.

Yet, at the same time, Indiana is starting to feel less like home each visit. Knowing that I'll probably never live there again (my husband hates the snow and cold weather), it's becoming more of a refuge to escape the lack of safety and the homesickness I feel in Peru, but in some ways I also feel as if I've begun to disconnect from many of the places and things that were once so near and dear to me.

This return trip to Peru has been the easiest adjustment back to life here I've had yet. Except for avoiding the grocery store for the first five days, I jumped right back into life, filling my schedule with friends, events at the children's home and time with my husband. Today was the first day I've sat home and relaxed since I got back six days ago. 

It's good to be back home, but I miss my other home, too. 

I firmly believe that here on Earth, I'll never again have just one home.

But I do look forward to the day when all my favorite people from both "homes" are with me in our eternal home in heaven. 

And because my heart is divided here on Earth, my heart aches to see my lost friends saved. It's hard to miss them during long (or short) periods of separation, but I can't imagine spending eternity without them.

Starbucks and the Heart of God

The title itself is quite an oxymoron, I know. But let me begin by saying, I'm not supporting Starbucks, but I do enjoy a nice Starbucks frappuccino once in a while. However, I'm also not supporting Christians who have nothing better to do with their time than complain about a disposable cup. I have to wonder, are these same Christians praying or sharing the gospel as much as they're complaining? And if they aren't, then quite frankly, I don't really want to hear their opinion on the color of a cup or the lack of holiday spirit.

This month Missions Month at my church here in Peru. Last week for the kick off, the young adults (feels weird saying that as I don't feel that old myself yet) came in at the beginning of the service carrying flags from varying countries and lined up along the walls of the auditorium. My eyes began to water and my throat tightened as I tried to keep myself from becoming a ball of weeping flesh in my seat.

As I sat there, eyes watering and lips quivering, I thought two things.
1. Why am I responding like this? They're just flags.
2. Am I doing enough? Am I where I'm supposed to be or is God calling me elsewhere?

Then, as the announcements ran and the pastor got up to speak, I began to think and respond to these questions.

1. I responded in this way because my heart is broken for this world. The sinful nature of humanity, the downward spiral even Christians are facing, hate for our brethren, judgement that should be left to God, hidden sins, pride...I could go on an on. Each of those flags represent people who are lost and dying. Each of those flags represent nations where missionaries are working to spread the Gospel, and some of those flags represent nations where the Gospel is forbidden, yet God has sent His chosen ones to go and discretely share the Word.

2. I don't think I am doing enough. So, God sent me to Peru as a teacher, but I should be doing more to share His message, too. What's the next step? It's no longer me who decides where God is calling me, but I have to convince my husband as well. What is he thinking? Are we called to be missionaries somewhere? Are we called to be more involved with a missions organization here?

Honestly, I know I'm not doing enough to be an ambassador of Christ. My last blog post is proof of that, and I can't say I've stepped up my game much since that post either. I also honestly believe that if God calls me to be a missionary somewhere, He'll give that calling to my husband as well. As far as being more involved in missions here in Peru, Javier and I have that talk on a regular basis. It's just so difficult with his schedule to both be highly involved somewhere. We're working on it though.

I've spent this week in earnest prayer for missionaries I know and miscellaneous missionaries around the world. I admire them and what they're doing, and I sometimes wish God had given me that call rather than calling me to be a teacher. But then I'm reminded that being a teacher is one of the greatest callings. It allows me to work with young minds, to shape their thinking and to set an example for them that they may not see elsewhere.

Then there's the Starbucks issue. While I'm over hear worrying about the spiritually dead around the world and praying for missionaries in places much worse than where I find myself, Christians in North America are in an uproar over a disposable cup. First world problems at their finest.

Okay, I get it; the so called "Holiday cup" lacks holiday decorations. But, would you say snowflakes and pine trees represent Christ more than a simple red cup does? As a friend stated tonight, "I don't think the snowflakes of years past had anything more to say about our sinful nature and our gift of a Savior than the color red." She also stated that the red color of the cup could be argued that it represents the cleansing blood of Christ spoken about in many church hymns.

Dear Brethren,

We're missing the bigger picture!! Wake up!! Open your eyes and look around you! While you're boycotting Starbucks and tweeting/posting about how awful they are for eliminating holiday decor from their cups, people are being killed around the world. Christians are being jailed and/or killed for their faith. Have you stopped to pray for them, or are you too busy telling everyone how awful Starbucks is for choosing a red design for their cups? What if they used their normal cups year round, would you complain about that, too? At least the cup is red, right? That must stand for something.

Are you worried about seeing your lost friends saved? Are you taking a stand for Christ and speaking out against sin in a loving way, or are you spreading hate to those who believe different than you? Have you stopped to consider that it's absolutely ridiculous to even think that someone who is not saved should support the Gospel or even find it necessary to have Christmas decorations? Why celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in Christ? Yeah, the gifts are nice, but I could buy the same gift for myself if I wanted.

The unsaved have no reason to think, believe, or act as Christians should. They don't know Christ, they don't know His redeeming power, and they don't know they are lost.

It's our job to get off our our high horses, leave judgement to the Lord, and start sharing the Gospel in a way that causes others to desire what we have. It's time to make a change in our thinking, to change our point of view and to put our priorities in order. We need to stop expecting non-believers to act like believers. It's time to stop spreading hate and to quit making Christianity distasteful to the lost. It's time to start making Jesus desirable and attractive. It's time to bring the Kingdom to the people and make them long for eternal life in heaven.

It's time to stop complaining about all the bad, but to be the positive change.

Yours truly,
Jessica


So in conclusion, think about your words and actions, pray for the lost, and go out and share the Gospel. The world is waiting for you!

1 Corinthians 2:14 - The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.


**Disclaimer: I am not perfect, and I have a long way to go before I am. I've written this post as much for myself as I have for you. Accept the challenge.

**Disclaimer: I am fully aware that Starbucks has made comments in the past contradictory to our Christian faith. I fully expect that; it's a company ran by non-Christians. I know that due to these previous comments, the removal of winter decorations from the cup comes as another sign that they are not for Christ. However, I will say it again - it's absolutely ridiculous to think that non-Christians should understand the importance of holiday decor when for them Christmas is just a day for gifts that most of them could by for themselves.

Public Transportation

I must admit, I'm a people watcher. At sporting events I'm generally more focused on the people entering and leaving the game or seated around me than I am on the game. At church, if you put me in sight of a doorway, sadly, I can guarantee you my thoughts will jump to whoever I see coming and going rather than the sermon.

I remember sitting in the lobby near the large window in my dorm during college attempting to study, yet finding my eyes and my thoughts wandering to the people walking by outside. I'd look at them and observe - what were they thinking, what fashion trend were they showing off, where were they going, what made them tick, etc.

Recently, I find myself doing the same thing whenever I use public transportation here in Lima, which is nearly ever day. Sitting in the taxi with music playing, I observe the taxi driver. Usually to make sure he isn't going to do anything to me or to be sure he's watching the road, but I often wonder about the person behind the wheel as well. Does he have a family at home? What is his background? Is he from Lima or does he come from the provinces? When was the last time he slept? Rarely, do I talk to these men that drive me around the city, but I wonder about them the same.

Then there's the busses. You have 10-50 people crammed like sardines into a tube on wheels. There's music playing, the cobrador is shouting names of streets and urbanizations, asking riders to pay the fare, and a driver shouting at the other drivers in his way on the road, but there is minimal conversation between the riders. Occasionally you'll find a few people on the bus who are riding together and conversing, but those who embark on their journey alone are entertained by their cellphones, music and newspapers. It's awkward if you make eye contact and even more uncomfortable when the bus is silent and one must ask their neighbor for directions.

Again, I find myself observing. In my mind I create life stories for the people around me based on how they are dressed and what they are carrying with them.

Woman A has just left the office since she is wearing a skirt and high heels. She looks freshly powdered, so I bet she's on her way to meet a friend for a coffee.

Woman B must have gone to the gym and then stopped to pick up a few groceries on the way home. She's wearing sports clothes and is carrying a gym bag. She's also wearing a wedding ring, and I see baby formula in the Wong grocery bag, so she must have a husband and baby at home.

I could go on and on, making stories for all of the passengers, but I'll spare you from reading my thoughts.

The moral of the story...

We're living in a globalized world, rubbing shoulders with people of different races, ethnicities, backgrounds and lifestyles on a daily basis. Yet, we have become a world of lonely, self-focused people. We plug our ears with our headphones, listen to our choice of music, and hide in the seat of the bus (if you're lucky to get a seat) avoiding even the slightest bit of eye contact until it's time to fight our way to the door. Even then, one might push and shove through the crowd, saying perdón, disculpa, permiso or any other phrase that kindly implies those in the way should squeeze themselves tighter together so that the passerby may get through. However, despite stepping on someone's toes or knocking someone in the head with your bag little eye contact is made.

Then there's days when I come home and think about the uniqueness of situations like these. As a Christian, am I missing opportunities to evangelize and share the gospel? What if the person standing beside me on the bus today is going home lonely tonight wondering why he is even on this Earth? What if the little girl I saw crying on the bus lives in an abusive home and she's running away? And I sit, guilty as charged, without saying a word, avoiding eye contact, and bopping my head to the music playing through my headphones.

When people ask me why I'm here in Peru I have a few responses:
1. I teach at a bilingual school here in Lima.
2. I came to volunteer with a children's home.
3. My husband is Peruvian.

Yet, maybe, just maybe I am here for more than that. Maybe I am here to be a witness to the other passengers riding on the same bus as me. Perhaps, I'm here to talk about the love of Jesus with the taxi driver who happens to give me a ride home from the grocery store.

Maybe it's time to take out the headphones, look people in the eyes, and smile at them as they board the bus and sit or stand beside me.

It's not an easy challenge, and I'm a pretty reserved person when it comes to talking to complete strangers. But it's a risk I'm challenging myself to take, and I'd ask that any of you in similar situations consider as well.

Blessings to you and yours.

Find a Man Who Adores You

About two weeks ago, Javier and I met a team that had come to work with Kids Alive for a week. This team came all the way from Lake Tahoe, Nevada and was in Peru for the first time. They seemed to be kind group of people as we conversed with them at the children's home and at dinner the following night. They asked the usual questions:

• Where did you get married?
• How did you meet?
• Oh, you grew up here! (to Javier) What was it like growing up in a children's home?
• Have you been to the States? (also directed towards Javier)
• Are you missionaries? / What do you do for work?

Even though this is the typical conversation we have with any international person we meet, I love it. It reminds me of the time I first met Javier. These questions cause me to reflect upon the God divine encounters we had up until I moved here in 2013. It gives me yet another opportunity to hear my dear husband share a bit of his testimony and his passion to mentor and set an example for the children in the home now. And it also takes me back to our time in Canada (as friends) in 2010 and our time in the States and Canada together at the beginning of this year as a newly engaged couple. And then, almost every time at the end of the conversation, Javier proudly takes out his cellphone and shows the new "friend" the video of his proposal, and I become a big ball sappy emotions. 

Every time we go to the children's home the girls are enthralled by my engagement ring. I, too, can't look at it without smiling, even after having worn it for the last 8 months. Not only is it beautiful and beyond what I expected, but it reminds me of a promise we made, to seek after one another, to do life together, and to fight together until our last day. 

As the girls "oooohhhh" and "aaahhhhh" over my ring, and then make similar comments about my wedding band, I have a chance to talk with them. I share with them the importance of finding a man that loves God first, that admires them and encourages them to be a better version of themselves, a man that loves them and enjoys spending time with them, that sacrifices for them, and respects them. I explain the importance of finding a man that values them, not a man that just wants to use them to appease his physical desires or a man that tries to buy their love. 

I have shared with them the beauty of having an engagement ring, and the process of arriving to that point. I've tried to express the importance of waiting for a man who will commit to them through thick and thin rather than a man who runs when times get tough. I've explained to them that the size of the diamond or the cost of the ring isn't what's most important, but it is a symbol. Javier didn't choose the biggest diamond because he wanted to buy my love; rather, he chose the biggest diamond because he wanted me to be proud. He could have chosen the smallest diamond in the world and I would have been happy simply knowing he loved me enough to take that step and commit himself to me for the rest of his life.

How did he design it? He took 3 rings I had shown him and combined them into one because he wanted me to have a ring that had all my favorite features from the 3 rings I had shown him.

So many girls who grow up without a constant male figure in their lives will run to the first man who is willing to pay attention to them. They make poor choices hoping to win the love of the boy chasing them and end up in broken or dangerous situations. My hope is that through the example Javier and I have set and the example of other Godly marriages that surround them, these girls (and boys) will value commitment, desire a Godly marriage, and wait until God brings the right man (or woman) into their lives.

Please pray for these girls and boys that Javier and I feel called to mentor and minister to. Pray that God shows us what His plans are for us concerning how to mentor and our timetables. Pray that the children are able to see something in us that they desire and to make positive life choices.

Let me leave you with the video of our engagement. Any man willing to dress up in a costume of one of your favorite cartoon characters is worth keeping. I have to say, my man is one in a minion!!

Following the Ebb & Flow of Life

No matter how much time I spend in this country, how emerged I become with the culture, or how fluent I become in the language I don't think I'll ever feel fully acclimated to life here. Don't get me wrong, I love Peru and its people, the culture and its rich history, and that fact that I found my husband here. But on the other hand, I don't like that I have to be cautious and think about what I'm carrying with me every time I leave the house. I don't like being watched and cat-called by men on the street, and I don't like grocery shopping or worrying about how I will carry all of the groceries to my doorstep on my own.

Life has its way of changing. Throughout high school and college I dreamed of living abroad, teaching students in a multicultural setting, and becoming fluent in Spanish as I managed my way around an unknown city made up of primarily Spanish speakers. I was full of hopes and dreams, wondering where life would take me. Not to say I don't still hope and dream, but my thought patterns have changed.

I've come to believe that I've fulfilled my dream of living abroad, teaching, and learning the language, and now I'm ready to move back home. However, God doesn't seem to think I'm done here yet. My plan was never to marry a local, stay beyond my 2.5 year contract, or become part of a family made up of over 100 members, but God's plan was different. And at the same time, I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

As I look back on my blogs from trips to Peru and my first months officially living here, I realize I will never be that exact same version of myself again. My experience here in Peru has change me, it has changed my view of the world, it's altered my ideas and perspectives of rich and poor, and it's given me new thoughts and opinions about how to help those in need and educate those who have everything.

The longer I spend here working among the wealthy and volunteering among those in poverty, I realize that neither group is better off than the other. The joy that flows from the faces of the children at the children's home is often the highlight of my week. Then the lack of enthusiasm I witness from students each day at school makes my heart sad for them. Kids that have so much but appreciate so little vs children who have little and appreciate even the smallest gesture of love.

I'm not sure what the next phase of life holds. My current hopes and dreams are to move to the States within a day's drive from my family, buy a house, and begin our family - The Gutierrez family. But I know that's not what God has in store for Javier and me at this moment in time. Right now we feel called to invest in the children at the children's home, care for his grandmother, and live a simple "American" life here in Peru. <American because our life is anything but a simple Peruvian life, yet we aren't among the wealthy of the country either.>

For now, it's just my husband and I embarking on this journey together and praying that the Lord leads us in the way that we should go. We're trusting God to show us His divine plan for us as husband and wife as we follow the ebb and flow of the city life that surrounds us.

The Civil Wedding: Somewhere Between Fiancé and Wife

For those of you that have been following my blog, you've read about the difficulties Javier and I passed through trying to obtain the correct documents for marriage in Peru. We persevered and finally, after two months of stress, sweat, and tears we handed in all of the documents, passed our medical exams, and submitted our final payment for legal marriage. We set the date and we waited.

The date was May 4, 2015. Exactly 21 months after Javier first asked me to date him; a little more than a year and a half since we "officially" became boyfriend and girlfriend.

I had to smile because when I first started dating Javier he told me he knew that I was the girl he would marry. I wasn't quite so sure in the early stages of dating, but I agreed to embark on the journey and see how the Lord would guide and direct us as individuals and in our relationship. The catch was, he had every intention of marrying me, but he made it very clear that he wouldn't marry me for a minimum of 3 years so that we had plenty of time to get to know one another (as if 4 years of friendship prior to dating hadn't allowed us to get to know one another at least a little bit).

Here we are not even two years later: married by law but waiting for the "religious" (traditional) wedding service to live as a married couple - under the same roof, sharing the same bank accounts, etc.

The civil wedding was anti-climactic to say the least. Honestly, I'm thankful it wasn't more than it was. After wading through so much paperwork leading up to the date, it felt like we had dressed up to sign more paperwork. I don't feel married, but I do enjoy calling Javier my husband and hearing him thank God for his wife when he prays.

To put it simple:

• We arrived early and we waited in the lobby to be called back to the ceremony room.
• We stood before the "judge" with our witnesses on both sides, and we listened to the laws of marriage as they were read to us.
• He asked Javier if he agreed to the laws. Javier responded, "Sí!"
• He asked me if I agreed to the laws, and I also responded, "Sí!"
• We exchanged rings.
• We signed the marriage license and stamped our fingerprints beside our signatures.
• We kissed.
• Finally, we went outside to take a few pictures.

It took 10 minutes...literally!! 

Months of hassle, frustration, and tears: incorrect documents, waiting for correct documents to arrive, missing pieces of my residency. A great lesson in patience. A time of growth in our relationship with each other. Another experience to add to the list of ways Peru is not like the USA. 

And tonight, I find myself preparing to return to work tomorrow after a 10 day break. When people ask, I am still a Señorita. However, to close friends and family I have become a Señora. 

I'm somewhere between a fiancé and a wife - not fully one or the other. 

As I explained to Javier, it's a good thing labels are just that...labels. Our relationship has consisted of a lot of confusion in that department. Dating but not quite boyfriend/girlfriend. Wedding planning but not officially engaged. And now, married but waiting for the July ceremony to receive the blessing from God upon our marriage. 

Since Javier won't let me share the civil wedding pictures on my Facebook (as not to confuse our friends), I'll share a few with you here. 

Waiting for the ceremony with Mike and Diane Fietje.

Mike was a witness for our wedding.

Listening to the laws.

Signing the marriage license.

Exchanging the rings.

Stamping fingerprints.

Showing off our rings which are our actual wedding bands.

We only wore them for the day, and now they are safely put away until the July ceremony.

We're married!

Showing off our certificate of marriage.

Pictures after the ceremony with Nancy Miller.

Javier's mom and one of our witnesses for the wedding.

Thank you for you prayers over our marriage as we begin this new adventure together.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
Mark 10:9 (NIV) 

Legal Paperwork Part 2

Warning: If you haven't read the February post titled "The Chronicles of the Apostrophe" this post probably won't make much sense, so go on over and read that first.

This week my birth certificate arrived via a lovely family that came to Peru and travelled all the way to Cuzco. On their way back home they had a flight through Lima in which I was to meet them at the airport to retrieve the long awaited document. To make a long story short: confusion of dates and sickness kept me from going to the airport. Javier ended up going to the airport by himself as a detour on his way to work Monday evening. And alas we have the document in hand.

Before taking my birth certificate and letter verifying I have never been married to be translated, Javier  made a stop at the mayor's office to ensure that we had all of the proper documentation. He accepted the documents, but found an error with my residency. Of course nothing in this country can be simple...

In Peru, I have to update my residency yearly to prove that I am still here working. There is also an annual fee I have to pay. Usually they put a sticker on the back of your resident card to show that you have paid and updated your status. However, the law has changed, and now it is all in the computer system. They are no longer using the stickers, but when you enter the numbers into the government system, then it shows up at that I am legally in the country.

Unfortunately, the elderly man in charge of legal weddings here where I live didn't want to take Javier's word nor the documents I had stating that I have paid and am legal. Javier tried to explain the situatoin, but the man only wanted to ee the sticker on my resident card or there would be no wedding.

Thankfully, Javier has a way with words, and he convinced the man to call the immigration office. After a short exchange, the man nodded his head in approval, and Javier was on his way to drop off my paperwork with a legal translator. We picked up the paperwork on Friday, and everything is now placed in a plastic report folder waiting to be turned in. Next we have to do medical screenings and then publish our marriage in the paper for 8 days. Then, we will finally be able to set a date for the legal ceremony.

It's been quite the exhausting, frustrating process. I've cried in the office at the municipality more than once, and I've spent a lot of time in prayer that everything would work out. At one point I even asked God if this was his sign that we shouldn't be getting married - which I later decided wasn't the reason, but that perhaps God is trying to teach me patience.

As all Peruvians say, "Por algo ." Meaning: There is a reason.

Hopefully, all of this to say, that by the end of April, I should be a legally married woman. However, we are still waiting until the "religious" (traditional) ceremony to take place before we will consider ourselves to be married.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. Let me leave you with another picture from our engagement session.

A Visit from the Doctor

I've always prided myself in never having to use Peruvian healthcare, although I knew sooner or later it was to happen. The good thing about Peru is that when one gets sick, the pharmacy almost always has an antibiotic on hand one can take without a prescription, so that is usually my go to source.

However, when I was up all night Sunday sick to my stomach I was afraid a visit with the doctor may be in my near future. Trying to be tough, I overdosed on TUMS and took imodium with me in my purse hoping to make it through a day of school. Since sick days are not given as part of my contract, in order to be absent from work one must provide a doctor's excuse meaning if I missed work I had no choice but to visit a doctor...something I was hoping not to do.

By 8:30 a.m. I felt like I was on fire and when I stood up I got so dizzy I had to sit back down. I couldn't even make it from my desk to the doorway without holding onto the wall the whole way. So I stalked down the hall to the bathroom and then into the director's office and explained my situation. She sent me to the nurse, and the nurse sent me straight home after discovering my fever was over 101F.

Everyone at school always talks about this wonderful service that our insurance provides in which a doctor comes straight to your house. I called as soon as I got home, spelled my name fifteen different times, and explained over and over that I only have one last name. (Unfortunately, I couldn't tell them I am Yesica Gutierrez like I normally do since I had to use my legal name.) After about 15 minutes I was told my insurance didn't carry this benefit, so I hung up, emailed the lady in charge of the insurance at school, and I went straight to bed.

I woke nearly 7 hours later with a fever of 103.8F, received an email from work with a different policy number, and I called the doctor again. This time after spelling my name thirteen more times and explaining several times that I only have one last name, a doctor was sent to my house. He arrived nearly 3 hours later at 9:30pm.

Now, I will say it is quite convenient to have the doctor come straight to you, but I won't say the service was the best. The doctor was nice, but he honestly didn't do much. He asked my symptoms and what my temperature  was last time I checked; then he took my blood pressure and pressed on my abdomen a few times. Finally, he wrote me a prescription for 5 different medicines (for dehydration, fever, nausea, parasites, and infection), and he was on his way out the door less than 15 minutes after he arrived. Five minutes later the pharmacy was on my doorstep with the medicine he had ordered.  And by 10:30pm I was back in bed with lots of drugs in my system.

I took Tuesday off work because there was no way I was going to play tough girl again. Javier was off, too, so he came to spend the day with me. Basically we both slept most of the day since I was sick and he had worked overnight the night before. But he made sure I had soup for dinner and that I took my medicines on time.

So while I lost my pride of no medical history in Peru, I can say I've had yet another new experience...a doctor visiting my house and medicine delivered to my door all for less than 20 US dollars.

And just in case you're wondering - Yes, I am feeling much better. After my first meal in 5 days which was Chinese food for dinner last night, tamales for breakfast this morning, and Papa Johns tonight, I'd say I am cured.

Although, now allergy and cold season is starting so my eyes are bright red and my nose doesn't stop running...

Let me leave you with one of my favorite pictures from our engagement session. :)

The Chronicles of the Apostrophe

"This will be something we look back on one day and laugh about," responded Javier to my aggravation over a missed apostrophe in my last name, O'Connor. 

You see, here in Peru you must have a legal wedding before you can have the religious (traditional) wedding ceremony. The legal ceremony consists of the laws of marriage being stated, the exchanging of vows and rings, and the signing of the marriage certificate. It would be similar to going to the courthouse to receive your marriage license in the States but on a much larger scale. Most couples do the legal ceremony just days before the religious wedding.

However, as a foreigner things are a bit different. You see, there are 2 documents you are supposed to get in your home country to bring to Peru for the legal ceremony. The first is a letter stating that you are not married and have never been married (or in some cases a letter proving that you are divorced and legally eligible for marriage). The second is a birth certificate. Both documents are to have an apostille.To make things more complicated, the couple must marry within 60 days of the date marked on the documents.

For Javier and I that meant that upon returning to Peru we'd have about a month and a half to legally be married even though our traditional ceremony isn't until July. And We worked so hard to get everything in order to take the the town hall, and we were denied because my birth certificate wasn't written with an apostrophe in my last name.

After a trip to the US Embassy, I spent the evening writing an affidavit claiming that I am the same person with or without the apostrophe in my last name. I received a scanned copy of the original birth certificate issued at birth which included an apostrophe, and I made copies of all of my documents. We realized my driver's license also does not have an apostrophe which we thought would benefit us in the process. Javier spent hours carefully translating the affidavit into Spanish, and we took it to the US Embassy to be signed and sealed. In talking with the lawyer at the US Embassy I was promised that this is a procedure they do often and that it is an acceptable way of verifying the legality of my birth certificate since the US Embassy cannot issue a birth certificate.

We were so relieved to have the documents in hand, and we returned to the town hall only to be denied again. The man in charge of the district where I live wasn't willing to accept the affidavit. He claimed that I could have asked any friend of mine to sign and seal it, and he demanded a birth certificate with an apostrophe or that I change all of my documents to be without. 

So I spent hours on the phone with my mother and the State of Indiana Health Department. I was told it would be impossible to put an apostrophe in my name because the software they use doesn't allow extra characters. I talked to another lady who seemed willing to help, but after 15 minutes on hold, I hung up. I called the next morning and talked to a very helpful lady who was able to do just what I needed. 

Finally, 2 weeks later, we think we have everything sorted out. Now we are waiting for the birth certificate to arrive with the apostille, so that we can have the document translated and finally be legally married in Peru, hopefully before the date on the letter stating that I am single"expires" in the early part of March. 

I never knew an apostrophe was so important. In the States it doesn't seem to matter if it is there or not - credit cards, driver's license, etc. However, here in Peru they seem to think that I am two different people. One person has an apostrophe in her last name and the other person does not.

I just hope that Javier is right that this will be something we laugh about one day. Right now the joke in the midst of all the wedding planning is, "...if we get married" not because we don't want to, but legally at this point it is impossible. 

God is testing our patience and perserverance. He is testing our love for one another and our willingness to do whatever it takes to be together. God has a plan for this, and while we don't understand why this happened, we know that at the end of it all we will get to spend the rest of our lives together. And eventually I'll change my last name, so hopefully there are no more errors of forgotten apostrophes. 

And I'll leave you with a few pictures from the proposal just for fun.

 151 days until the wedding!

Sometimes I Wonder...

Update blog: I've had it on my to-do list for quite some time. Actually it was something I meant to do before I ever went home for Christmas, and it never got done. Today after arriving home from my 2nd day at school, I decided tonight would be a "me" night. I don't get quiet evenings just for me much anymore. I am usually with Javier 4-5 evenings a week and the other days I try to catch up with friends or take care of necessary tasks like cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, etc.

So here I sit in front of the open windows, listening to the sounds of the outdoors and enjoying the breeze the ceiling fan provides. (Sorry friends who are buried in snow.)

My last blog update was 6 months ago! I'm sorry blogging world that you haven't been as informed about my time here in Peru. Life got busy second semester last year, I flew home the night school ended, had a whirlwind of a trip in the States and Canada, and now I find myself back in Peru. I've been here about two weeks, and it's been quite the adventure - organizing legal paperwork, visitors from America, planning a wedding, a day trip north of Lima, pool party and hanging out at the children's home, and now school is starting.

Now let me get to the meat of what I have on my mind tonight...

Some days I wonder why God brought me to Peru, so far from my family and my closest friends. I wonder why I gave up teaching in an amazing school with great colleagues and a church which felt like family. But then I remind myself, that this was my dream. Being here in Peru (a Spanish speaking country) was a calling I felt as a 13 year old sitting in my first Spanish class.  If I weren't here I wouldn't be marrying my best friend and I probably wouldn't speak Spanish quite as well, not to mention other things, too. Some days are hard, some days I want to give up and move home, but I know that God brought me here for a purpose, so I will push through, I will try to smile, and I will continue to seek God's plan for my life each and every day.

Javier and I joke that he had to travel to 60+ countries and then back home to Peru in order to meet the perfect girl for him. I never imagined when I met him in 2009 that 4 years later he would become my boyfriend. Add a year and a few months and now he is my fiance. I guess if this is what God's purpose in bringing me to Peru was, then I can't complain.

Peru is home now, yet Indiana is home, too. There are still days and  probably always will be days that I miss my family, my friends, and my life in Indiana.  Recently, I miss teaching at New Paris Elementary. Being back home and visiting my friends at school made me miss it; I was jealous of the resources, the classroom decor, and the overall friendly atmosphere. I fear I have lost my passion, I miss having a class full of children that felt like a second family.

As the school year begins, I must constantly remind myself that no matter what happens, this is the means God used to bring me to this great country, so I must rejoice. I need to stop dragging my feet and hanging my head. Instead, I need to walk proclaiming the good things the Lord has done and be thankful because He is faithful and good.

Please pray for me, my colleagues and our students as we begin the 2015 school year.

Please pray for Javier and I as we continue to sort through paperwork issues in order to be married here in Peru.

And lastly, please pray for the children's home as they have faced many staff changes already this year.

I made it a goal when I returned to Peru to try to update my blog twice a month. Let's see how well I can do with that!

Blessings to each one of you!

Living to Serve - Prayers Please

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’  “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." ~ Matthew 25:35-40

One of the most important lessons I have learned in the last year is that anyone can serve the Lord. You don't have to have a huge bank account of money or even the grandest of all houses. It simply takes a willing heart and a desire to help others.

One of the first things that drew me to Javier was his desire to help others. We met at the Children's Home in 2009 and every time our paths crossed here in Peru he was one of the first ones to call and make sure I was settled and had everything I might need. At the time neither of us had even thought about a relationship beyond friendship, but God has a way of altering our plans and doing things in his timing.

Upon my arrival to Peru last year, Javier was one of the first people to call me, to help me look for an apartment, and to make sure I was settled into my new home. After a month or two, we both began to realize our relationship was changing, and the rest is history.

Anyways, our relationship is not the purpose of this post.

Upon meeting Javier, I noticed a love for the children of Kids Alive. He'd come and play with the kids, buy things they might need, and he usually returned from his trips abroad with something for each of them. He loved them and loved spending time with them.

Since our relationship has begun, he has taught me so much in means of serving others. He uses the car to give some of the guys at work a ride home who many make less or live further away. A few weeks ago we picked up a young girl and her 15 month old baby walking along the road at 12:30 at night to take them home - a 10 minute drive which would have taken her about an hour walking, not to mention the danger aspect.

We've recently decided together to use our resources, knowledge, and love for the children to begin to help the adolescents at the Juniper Tree (Kids Alive) Children's home. Our desire is to find interests they may have and provide classes or training so that upon leaving the home they have a skill that they can use to support themselves.
A few weeks ago we were able to pay for one of the teenage boys who is a phenomenal artist to take a 2 day course in which he was able to learn techniques for 3D painting using ceramic material and a wooden board. Javier picked him up and drove him downtown both days for his class. After the course finished, we were able to purchase the supplies he would need to continue to practice this new art he had learned.
We'd love to do this with other children as well. However, the key is finding what the children are interested in and then looking for ways to help them to develop these interests. It also takes coordination with schedules and money.
In the future we'd love to open our home (when we have one) to the kids to come a few at a time and stay for a weekend. Our desire is for them to see how a family functions outside of the children's home and to be an example of a Godly marriage.
It's a mission/ministry we both feel very called to, but we are still trying to figure out how exactly it may develop and function.

Please be in prayer for us as we continue to develop our ideas and work with the children to determine their interests and the best way for us to help. Pray for us as we run ideas by directors of the home who thus far have been very supportive - although I've heard rumors that they're praying for us to be house parents and live at the home with 6-7 kids in our care once we are married (a field of ministry we do not feel called to at this point). Pray for time and resources - both of which can at times be limited. Pray also that the Lord would continue to guide us and direct us in the way that He has paved for us to go and that if it means a change in our vision that we would follow as He leads.

Much love from Peru! ~ Jessica

Living a Dream - Year #1 Reflections

Do you ever have those days or weeks when you wonder what in the world you are doing in life? Where are you headed? Are you on the right path? Are you following God's will? Why you are where you are?

While I know God has me exactly where He wants me, and I'm living a dream come true, some days are just plain difficult. I miss teaching in the States with respectful students, consistent discipline and students from average families. I miss my colorful, student friendly classroom filled with books and resources for the kids. I miss a loving, supportive staff that truly had the best intentions for the students. I miss my church and the Bible study group I became a part of my last 2 years back in Indiana. I miss driving to my friends' homes for the weekends to spend the night and have girl time. But most of all, I miss my family...sitting outside in the summer around the pond with a fire burning or laying out in the pool relaxing while talking about anything and everything with my mom. I miss the smell of a warm house in the winter, feeling soft carpet beneath my feet, and the comfort of simply being "home".

However, despite all of the things I miss and looking past the days when I think I can't take anymore, I know that God has me in Peru for a reason or perhaps more than one, and I couldn't be happier. Living and teaching in Peru has been a dream of mine since 2007. I discovered a love for Spanish and teaching during high school and after just one trip to Peru, I knew I had to come back. This is my dream, something I prayed for for years. I'm thankful that God answered my prayer in His timing and not my own.

As I look back on the last year, I am filled with reminders of God's love, faithfulness, and protection time and time again. He's provided for me in ways I never even imagined, and not once has He left me feeling alone.

• He provided an apartment for me when I was very discouraged with what I was originally offered. It's the perfect apartment for the perfect price, in a safe location, and my landlords are wonderful people. 
• He's kept me safe in the streets, taxis, and buses, and only allowed me to experience one robbery which happened to be the stealing of Javier's phone right from my hand through the window of our own car. 
• He's blessed me with opportunities to serve and build stronger relationships with the children at Juniper Tree in Pachacamac.
• I've been able to pay off one loan which leaves me only one left to go...there is light at the end of the tunnel! 
• In moments of loneliness it never fails that He has provided someone who calls to chat or hang out with. Sometimes His love has come through mail from friends back home, too. Mail which is appreciated more than I think you understand.
• I have learned to serve more, be hospitable, and think of myself less. Who cares if the house hasn't been cleaned in a week? There are people that would like a cooked meal and a hot shower.
• God blessed Javier with a car that has been super beneficial and a blessing in so many ways. 
• I've made new friends and built deeper relationships with old friends. 
• I've learned so much about humility and living simply. 
• I've heard testimonies I can't imagine having to go through, and I've seen people on the other side of tragedy living lives filled with joy and completely surrendered to the Lord.
• I've been blessed by the presence of Javier in my life. A friendship of 5 years that I never imagined would develop into a lifelong love and marriage. (Yes, I said marriage...)

I could go on and on about the goodness of God during my first full year of living here in Peru. As I look around me and cringe because the sun is setting at 5pm and that the chilly evening air is drifting through my windows, I stop to remind myself that even having this apartment is a blessing because so many others live without properly closing windows or sturdy cement walls. 

Of course I miss my family, my friends, my church, and NPE, but I'm not here to dwell on the things that aren't here with me. I'm here to learn, to serve, to teach, and to become the best person that I can be. I'm here because this is where God called me many years ago, and I am ready to carry out the mission that He has placed before me - to educate children and to serve to the best of my abilities. 

Thank you all for your continued love and support as I follow this path of life. It's hard to believe it's been a year, and I'm already excited to be home for Christmas. However, until then, I am looking forward to the days ahead with anticipation. Awaiting the Lord's daily voice leading me in the direction He has set for me that day. Each of your prayers is a blessing in my life. I couldn't have made it this long without you!