My heart breaks a little at the end of each passing school year. The life of a teacher is a wide mix of emotions. The students become like my children as my care and concern for them deepens throughout the year, and then it's over; they move on leaving you "behind" to start over with a new group of students.
This year though, something was different. In my time at New Paris Elementary, I have never had a group of students that reached so deep into my soul as this group did. There was just something about these kids that filled me with joy, reminded me of my passion for children and concern for their well-being, and brought me to tears when I felt as if I were failing them. Maybe it was the life change of preparing to move to Peru that enabled me to get close to these kids knowing they would be my last group at NPE (for now). Perhaps it was our spiritual talks that flowed more openly with my entire class attending Bible class every other week. Or it possibly could have been the kind hearts, the humor for sarcasm, and the eagerness to learn and explore new ideas that allowed me to really dive deep and reach out to these students.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a perfect year of roses and sweet smelling honeysuckle. We had our ups and downs. I had my moments, days, and weeks of utter frustration (late homework, endless hours spent helping students with math during recess, behavior problems, etc.), but on a typical day those moments of frustration were turned around by a smiling girl standing at my desk with a dandelion she picked at recess or a laughing boy telling me a funny story about something he observed. (And let me tell you, this group noticed things no other group before them noticed, and they pointed out every connection they could in reading, math, science, or just plain every day life.)
As we began to wrap things up this week, I had the kids spend time writing yesterday about third grade. I left it open ended and told them to write about whatever they chose...learning, field trips, friends, etc. Most of them wrote about our trip to the Chocolate Factory and others wrote about our awesome new music teacher. However, what touched me most were the kind words they had to say about me, nearly bringing me to tears. Classes in the past have said similar things, but something about the way these kids so eloquently shared their writing almost brought me to tears.
You are the best teacher ever!
I am praying for you in Peru!
I wish you didn't have to leave me. I want you to be my teacher forever!
The kids in Peru are going to be so lucky when you get there!
I always wanted you to be my 3rd grade teacher.
I love you, Miss O'Connor, and I don't want you to leave!
I will miss you a lot, Miss O'Connor!
I will miss you a lot, Miss O'Connor!
This morning as the children filed in for their last day of 3rd grade some came to my desk with gifts and/or cards thanking me for our year spent together. Others gave me candy they had received from our custodian wanting so badly to give me something, yet having nothing else to give. Then one little boy scribbling a quick note on a sheet of paper, covered it up as I walked by. Later tday, on my chair near my desk was a note that said, "Miss O'Connor, please go to 4th grade with me. I don't want to leave for summer vacation without you!" My heart melted knowing the family situation and home life this child would be facing. School is his distraction; it's an escape. Another little girl hugged me at the end of the day and wouldn't let go; another child quite possibly fearful of the summer she faces away from school.
As the kids left, I had them do the usual before break "Handshake, Hug, or High Five" as they crossed the threshold from our classroom into the world. Most of the students opted for a hug, and a few hugged me and wouldn't let go. As I choked back tears, I couldn't help but smile. It's a bittersweet feeling, but when all was said and done at 2:55 today, I knew that I had given my all to these children, and I hoped that in some way they saw and felt the hope and love of Jesus Christ this year.
I held back tears and a smile of pure joy and delight spread across my face, yet now as I type this I'm starting to feel my eyes water and my throat tighten. I could not have asked for a better group of kids to have as my last group at NPE. I'm thankful for the mark each one has left forever on my heart, and I'm proud to call them "mine". God knew just what I needed this year as I transitioned out of this phase of life and into the next, and these kids were just it.
Parents, if you're reading this, please know that I feel honored that you entrusted your children to me this year, and I pray many blessings over you and your families. Thank you for making 3rd grade such a fun year! Thank you for the gifts, notes, and time you have given this year!
Just a few of the things I received today that so very much touched my heart.
~A devotional book by a missionary about Jesus's Calling
~A journal to record my adventures in Peru
~A printed Peruvian flag with information about Peru the student had researched on his own because he wanted to know more about where I would be living
~And on top of those, I received flowers, a few notepads, gift cards, and some yummy treats and refreshing soda to enjoy this summer.
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