Longing

I'm beginning to wonder if this feeling will ever go away. I feel a constant longing deep in my soul. The depths of my heart, once filled with love for orphans and those less fortunate than myself, now feel empty. My mind wanders to thoughts of things past, my other life as I like to refer to it. I go in spurts...one minute I feel content where I am, I trust that God has me here at this time for a purpose, and I do what I can to serve Him while in this place. However, just minutes later I am overcome by the above described feelings; feelings of emptiness, brokenness, and longing desire.

I know that God has big plans for Peru. I know that God is moving amongst my friends there and the people whom I worked with day in and day out. I know God is raising up dear children as disciples for His cause. The people of Peru are open to God, and they look to him for even the smallest needs. I long to be there with them, living amongst them, learning from them, and sharing life with them.

However, since that is not the plan God has put before me at this time, I battle each day to live with the eyes of God. I struggle to be content here, but I know that this is God's plan for the time being. I don't think my work in Peru is done; however, I think I need to be conditioned and changed in order to best serve the people of Peru when I return.

It's a battle every day, but I get by with a little help from my friends. Conversations with friends still in Peru are always an encouragement, and they help me feel a bit more connected to my life there. God is faithful, and I know that He's not finished with me yet!