Love is a Motive

God's been working on my heart this month. He's put in my place many times, and He's been reminding me each day that He's the one in charge. The convictions keep coming my way, and while it can be frustrating, it's also rewarding.

I've been reading through the book of John with a friend. God has really been convicting me of being a true Christian. As I read I've been questioning my faith, and I've been challenged to make it stronger. My faith is big in my heart, but my actions in this world are small.

I had a conversation the other day with a Peruvian friend about serving and prayer. We had a very similar conversation last year around this time, and it actually again was brought up in Bible study tonight. You see, this man is a man of faith. He is prayer warrior for Christ, and his faith that Christ can and will provide for each one of his needs is stronger than most people I know. In all three conversations the basis of the topic was love...love for Christ leads to love for others.

Tonight at Bible study we read 1st Corinthians 13...the LOVE chapter. We talked about love as a motive, and I related this to the ,conversation I had with my friend earlier this week and year ago. In that conversation, my friend was telling me about all of the Americans that come to Peru to glorify themselves. He told me that he could easily spot someone who came down to serve in the ministry because they loved God and loved his people. He also told me that he has learned to easily spot those people who come to Peru to serve themselves and return home saying, "look what I did." He, too, mentioned love being the motive.

Serving because you want to bring glory to yourself leads you to be an ineffective witness and can sometimes turn others away from Christ. You get easily frustrated with the work, you lose patience with the lack of available resources, you become irritated at the different way of doing things, etc. However, when one chooses to serve others out of love for Christ and the mission Christ has set before us, the stakes change. Those you are serving see your heart, they notice your act of kindness, and they feel loved because you are loving on them through service. People are drawn to you when you serve in this way, and they want to know why you choose to serve them when you have "better things" to do with your time. They are drawn to Christ because you are a model of Christ's love to them.

Last year I was in Peru to serve. I was not there to bring glory to myself or have people say great things about me. I was there because God gave me a love for the people of Peru, and God provided an amazing opportunity for me to share life with them, even though it was only for a short time. Viewing love as a motive has really helped to shape my perspective in the last 18 months. Love is more than a word, it isn't just a feeling. Love is action. Love takes work and perserverence, but love always wins.

On a side note, through this friend, I've also been challenged to step up my prayer life and my faith that God does answer prayers. I've got a lot to work on, I suppose!!

Mi Dios Es Tan Grande

Talk about spiritual warfare. If it isn't something personal to me being attacked, it is someone close to me. It seems as if one thing comes after another, and it is making me sick to my stomach. I pray that it will end, but then again...no one ever said being a Christian was easy. If anyone understands that, the Apostle Paul knew it full well.

In the last month multiple friends have come to me with prayer needs for wrong choices and/or injustice. Add to that the sickness and physical pain of those around us, and it becomes obvious that this world we live in is a dark, nasty place.

I am learning more and more about the Bible and it's truth each day. As I currently study 1 Corinthians, Galatians, John, and Proverbs (all for different purposes), I am seeing similar themes of salvation and living a Christian life. I find hope and encouragement. I find peace that only a living Savior can provide. I am learning now more than ever what it means to cling to the cross, carry every need before our Creator, and to depend on him for wisdom, strength, and healing.

Paul's life is a perfect example of strength and perserverance even in the most difficult circumstances. He was imprisoned multiple times for preaching the gospel, yet he never gave up. He was blunt, honest, and personal with those around him wanting nothing more than to see people saved. God gave him huge responsibilities because God knew that Paul could handle it. 1st Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation  has seized you except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." Paul never gave up when things got tough.

I am thankful for Paul's example. I am grateful to God that he is big and mighty. Like the Spanish song says, "Mi Dios es tan grande, tan fuerte, poderoso. No hay nada q no pueda hacer." I pray that even in the tough situations and the moments of spiritual warfare that I never forget the God of the universe who loves me enough to care about me, an insignificant human being living on this earth with 6 billion plus other human beings. I pray that through conversations and mentoring relationships that I would have the words of God to speak to others that would reveal to them the love of Christ and the power of his resurrection. I pray the I not give up in the tough times and that I would perservere to the end.

God is in control, and I will not let Satan defeat me!

Restless

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You

The lyrics to this song by Audrey Assad have been stuck in my head all day. My mind, body, and soul are restless. They ache for something more. I feel an emotion I cannot explain welling up within me; the deepest parts of me are restless, unsettled, and fighting for more. More of what? More passion, more fire, more strength, and more action.

When I think about the future I become ecstatic. I can't help but be certain that God has plans for me bigger than anything I could possibly imagine at this point in my life. I desire to be a part of something big, a worldwide movement for Christ. I desire to see children from devastating situations run to the arms of their heavenly Father. I desire to see this world changed for the better, and I want to be a part of it.

Teaching is a wonderful profession in which I am able to stand in my faith and share the light of Christ with my students each day. I don't have to preach at them, I may not be allowed to read my Bible to them, but I can show them Christ simply by the way I live. Just today a student asked me if I was a Christian, and my response was, "Yes, indeed I am." This little boy then went on to say, "I could tell." I know God has placed me in this profession for a purpose, and I will use my talents and knowledge to bring him glory.

However, through my recent prayers and devotions, I am feeling more and more that this is temporary...5 years, 10 years, who knows. I believe God has plans for me outside of the States. I would love nothing more than to open and run an orphanage in South America. Is that God's plan for my life? I have no idea, but at this point, I honestly believe that I will not be here in New Paris, Indiana forever.

I miss the ministries I was invovled with in Peru. I enjoy talking to my friends there and hearing all the wonderful things God is doing in them, their churches, and their ministries. I long to once again be a part of those teams. While I'm here I pray for them, and I support them as much as I can from this distance, but it just isn't the same. I'm already counting down the days to summer vacation and another visit back to my other home. I miss it so much!!

You are my deepest longing, so I see You everywhere.

It's You I'm chasing after cause I am captivated by who You are and how You move.
I'll follow You forever, God, for love of You.

For love of You, I'm a sky on fire.
For love of You, I come alive.
It's Your Sacred Heart within me beating, Your voice within me singing
out for love of You; it's all for You.

The Perfect Getaway

No, I did not title this after the movie, but rather because God knew I needed a short trip far away from anything normal. He knew I needed to spend some time away from the busyness of life and just relax in his creation. This weekend's whirlwind trip to Canada may have been exhausting, but it was everything I needed and more.

It was wonderful to be in nature, to be away from cable tv, internet, my cellphone, and everything else that comes with this high technology world in which we live (including heat). We even had a limited supply of water which meant only 1 shower all weekend and only flushing the toilet when necessary. It was nice to wake up with the sun, spend the entire day without a schedule; to sit in awe of the gorgeous changing leaves that surrounded our cottage on the lake and bask in the glory of our Savior. I got my Peruvian fix on a small level...music, a bit of Spanish language, and some quality time with a crazy Peruvian friend.

Highlights of the trip included: hiking to a waterfall (aka a dam), taking the canoe out for a trip around the lake, relaxing in the sunshine, spontaneously jumping into freezing cold water, sitting outside alone praying & admiring creation, failing at building a campfire due to wet wood, stargazing while shivering under blankets, and living simply. Saturday felt like the longest day in the world, but it was the best day I've had in a while.

God knew before we left that this trip was everything I needed and more. He had been preparing this trip for a while, and despite it being cancelled last weekend, God had a plan. This trip could not have come at a better time. Thank you Jesus for always giving me exactly what I need when I need it.

Memories

I'm a big fan of memories. I enjoy looking back on the past and smiling at all the good things God has blessed me with. However, sometimes those memories also remind me of lessons I've learned along the way.

Tonight on the way home from Ft. Wayne, a friend and I shared her iPod headphones in order to drown out the awful talk radio being played by the driver...haha :-) This reminded me of the many days/nights riding in the back of taxis in Peru, sharing my iPod, and enjoying the company of a special friend.

I was also reminded that this friend changed the way I will forever treat dating. Here in the United States, I often feel the pressure of the world around me to get married. I have a lot of single friends, but I also have a good amount of friends that are married, some even with children. I'm worried that I'll fall into this "need" to be married and settle for someone less than I deserve.

I often have to remind myself that this same friend I shared my iPod with, also taught me what it means to have a Godly relationship. I remember many nights we'd spend reading the Bible together, discussing our devotions, praying together, or worshipping God with our voices and a guitar. Even now that we're over a thousand miles apart, on separate continents, our monthly conversations often lead to Godly discussions of the things we're learning, things we're struggling with, and ways God is working in our lives.

I don't know who God is preparing to be my future husband, but I know that he will be an amazing man. I pray he is a man of God that will challenge me to be a better person and a stronger, more faithful follower of Christ. I pray that he has a heart for South America, a love for children, and a longing desire to serve outside the U.S.