The Civil Wedding: Somewhere Between Fiancé and Wife

For those of you that have been following my blog, you've read about the difficulties Javier and I passed through trying to obtain the correct documents for marriage in Peru. We persevered and finally, after two months of stress, sweat, and tears we handed in all of the documents, passed our medical exams, and submitted our final payment for legal marriage. We set the date and we waited.

The date was May 4, 2015. Exactly 21 months after Javier first asked me to date him; a little more than a year and a half since we "officially" became boyfriend and girlfriend.

I had to smile because when I first started dating Javier he told me he knew that I was the girl he would marry. I wasn't quite so sure in the early stages of dating, but I agreed to embark on the journey and see how the Lord would guide and direct us as individuals and in our relationship. The catch was, he had every intention of marrying me, but he made it very clear that he wouldn't marry me for a minimum of 3 years so that we had plenty of time to get to know one another (as if 4 years of friendship prior to dating hadn't allowed us to get to know one another at least a little bit).

Here we are not even two years later: married by law but waiting for the "religious" (traditional) wedding service to live as a married couple - under the same roof, sharing the same bank accounts, etc.

The civil wedding was anti-climactic to say the least. Honestly, I'm thankful it wasn't more than it was. After wading through so much paperwork leading up to the date, it felt like we had dressed up to sign more paperwork. I don't feel married, but I do enjoy calling Javier my husband and hearing him thank God for his wife when he prays.

To put it simple:

• We arrived early and we waited in the lobby to be called back to the ceremony room.
• We stood before the "judge" with our witnesses on both sides, and we listened to the laws of marriage as they were read to us.
• He asked Javier if he agreed to the laws. Javier responded, "Sí!"
• He asked me if I agreed to the laws, and I also responded, "Sí!"
• We exchanged rings.
• We signed the marriage license and stamped our fingerprints beside our signatures.
• We kissed.
• Finally, we went outside to take a few pictures.

It took 10 minutes...literally!! 

Months of hassle, frustration, and tears: incorrect documents, waiting for correct documents to arrive, missing pieces of my residency. A great lesson in patience. A time of growth in our relationship with each other. Another experience to add to the list of ways Peru is not like the USA. 

And tonight, I find myself preparing to return to work tomorrow after a 10 day break. When people ask, I am still a Señorita. However, to close friends and family I have become a Señora. 

I'm somewhere between a fiancé and a wife - not fully one or the other. 

As I explained to Javier, it's a good thing labels are just that...labels. Our relationship has consisted of a lot of confusion in that department. Dating but not quite boyfriend/girlfriend. Wedding planning but not officially engaged. And now, married but waiting for the July ceremony to receive the blessing from God upon our marriage. 

Since Javier won't let me share the civil wedding pictures on my Facebook (as not to confuse our friends), I'll share a few with you here. 

Waiting for the ceremony with Mike and Diane Fietje.

Mike was a witness for our wedding.

Listening to the laws.

Signing the marriage license.

Exchanging the rings.

Stamping fingerprints.

Showing off our rings which are our actual wedding bands.

We only wore them for the day, and now they are safely put away until the July ceremony.

We're married!

Showing off our certificate of marriage.

Pictures after the ceremony with Nancy Miller.

Javier's mom and one of our witnesses for the wedding.

Thank you for you prayers over our marriage as we begin this new adventure together.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
Mark 10:9 (NIV)